Promises
A single yellow candle housed in a dirty glass open top jar was the only source of light in the darkened room. It was perched in the centre of a metal work table, the flame flickering as a breeze fluttered through the cave like space. The walls were jagged and uneven from the pickaxes that had cut into the earth to make more room in the underground living space, more rooms needed to house the group of survivors that had claimed the area as their own. What had once been a comfortable bunker had to be expanded as long term living arrangements had to be made, and now there were several little off shoot rooms that were little more then nooks of cold and damp earth. It bothered most that there always seemed to be a perpetual cold about the place, but to the lone figure sat hunched at the table tinkering away it meant little. Steady hands wiped clean the small metal part that was held in gloved fingers, the pads of his fingers bare as they brushed away grit and rust. Dark eyes never strayed from the task as he picked up a brush and used it for the more delicate details, barely blinking despite how dark the small room was. Twenty two years old yet feeling ancient he barely blinked at the sounds of other’s moving about starting their day. Joel was long since used to the familiar hiss of steam from the boiler and the clank of rusted pipes as water rushed to where it was needed, followed soon after by muffled singing and laughter. Someone clattered about whilst humming some forgotten, half remembered tune. Probably Eleanor as she got breakfast ready. Even as something went bang startling the younger people Joel didn’t blink an eye, tuning out the surprised laughter as he set aside the cog and picked up the next piece. He wouldn’t know what time it was if the other’s hadn’t started their routines, to lost in the motions of work and perpetual darkness to be bothered to even think of trying to work out if it was supposed to be night or day, if he’d missed a meal or not. Underground there wasn’t really anyway to tell what time it was but over time the group had formed ways of keeping routines in place that made everyone feel as though they were accomplishing something, even if it was just getting out of bed and sweeping away dirt that always reappeared the next morning. The sound of approaching foot steps has him pausing, head tilting to the side slightly as he listens to the tell tale lolloping of his baby sister before he straightens and returns to his work.
“Joel?” Emma calls, her youthful voice full of nervous excitement. He hums, showing he was listening and aware without stopping his work. It might seem useless to try and clean cogs that hadn’t been used in decades but he found comfort in performing the small task, and since he was the one to fix things around the bunker when they packed up he liked to keep the replacement parts as clean and functional as possible. The footsteps stop and the hair’s on the back of his neck stand on end at knowing he was being watched. “Joel? I wanted to ask you something...” Emma says with a hopeful voice. He hums again, setting the piece down and moving on to the next. “Well you see the guys are going hunting soon, like today soon and I was thinking maybe I could go with them?” she asks, voice trailing off when he turns to look over his shoulder at her, his eyes narrowed. Dirty blonde hair is held back away from her face in two loose pig tails and her dress has several patches on it, the bottom of it covered in dirt. The once white material had faded and turned a dull grey from the years of use.
“No” he says, voice cracking from disuse. He turns back to his work dismissively but it seems today his baby sister is not going to let the conversation drop. It is not the first time she had begged to be allowed to join the hunting party nor is it likely to be the last but he had hoped that it would take her longer to broach the topic, having only tried the week prior to get him to agree. The season had only just started turning, spring was on its way and the prey would start sniffing about for fruits and nuts, wanting to replace their winter stores. It was a good time to start hunting. Over winter they’d all tightened their belts and taken bird portions of food, as they did every winter, but now that spring was arriving it was best to restock as much as possible. He was a little surprised that the hunting party had not already left at the crack of dawn but it was not his place to tell their leader what to do. Jamie had never led them astray and had kept them alive since the beginning so he wasn’t about to question the man on his decisions.
“But Joel, I’m twelve-”
“Eleven” he interrupts her tirade.
“Nearly twelve” she continues, exasperation clear as she dismisses his words, “and by summer I’ll be asked to help out more with chores and stuff. Wouldn’t it be better if I started now? So I get used to things and can be of more help?” she quires, tone firm.
“You want to help? Help Miss Eleanor in the kitchen make breakfast. Or help Doc with checking supplies” he counters without looking up, once more setting another piece aside. She lets out a long suffering sigh that makes his eye twitch. He hates it when she questions him.
“I hate working in the kitchen and Doctor Peter’s is weird” she says grumpily. He doesn’t bother reminding her that if it hadn’t been for the good doctor she wouldn’t even be here, she would have died along with their mother during the birth, and how she wouldn’t have survived if it hadn’t been for the man’s attentive care. Doctor Peter’s is weird, and eccentric and old, but he’s a good man. He’s the only one who had ever stood by Joel and his decisions, never pushing him and never making any demands of him.
“If you can’t do the tasks your already assigned why would I let you do something more dangerous and more important?” he questions, voice tight and rough. He can practically feel her eyes rolling as he starts to put away his tools. There’s little more to be done now and his stomach clenches a little at the thought of food.
“Because the stuff I get told to do is boring! I want to do something exciting!” she pouts, arms folding over her chest as she looks up at him. He stands, rolling his shoulders back, the popping of his joints giving a small amount of relief. “Joel please! Please let me go! I promise I’ll do everything they tell me to!” she pleads, blue eyes turning large and gripping onto his dirty blue shirt with a white knuckled grip. He raises an eyebrow at her, unimpressed. She lets her hand fall away to be at her side, her head lowering as she bites on her bottom lip. He rolls his eyes at her attempts of getting him to feel sorry for her.
“That doesn’t work on me” he tells her bluntly. She growls at that, glaring at him. It always amuses him that she can change expressions and feelings so rapidly that it would make most peoples heads spin. God help him when she became an actual teenager.
“Joel your not being fair! The twins get to go hunting and their younger then me!” she snaps. He isn’t surprised when she stomps her foot for good measure.
“The twins were brought up around weapons and their father is a hunter” he replies, leaning back against the table and folding his arms over his chest, looking down at her with a small frown. She mutters under her breath at that but he doesn’t bother to try and work out what she’s saying. She could be cursing or grumbling about his being unfair, it matters little to him. “You don’t complete the tasks your assigned. You don’t listen to orders. You also don’t like it when people tell you not to do something. Only a short while ago you got burnt by the stove because Miss Eleanor told you not to touch the kettle yet you still did. The mark has only just healed. Why would I let you go hunting when your clearly unable to follow the most basic of instructions?” he says with a raised eyebrow. She glares at her own feet at that, her small hands clenched into fists.
“I told you I hate working in the kitchen! And I only grabbed the kettle because it was boiling over! Its not my fault Miss Eleanor wasn’t paying attention to it!” she mutters darkly. He sighs heavily at that, rubbing a hand over his eyes, feeling tired. Every year that passed by his sister became more troublesome and difficult to deal with. He honestly didn’t know what he was supposed to do with her. Back in the before time he would never have had these sort of worries, but now was not then, and he didn’t get a choice in being the guiding hand that led his sister into adulthood. Sometimes he wondered if she’d been a boy if things would be easier, or just as difficult, or even worse. She turns her face up to his slowly, her eyes filled with pleading. “Okay, okay” she says slowly, licking her bottom lip and getting a hopeful look. Something is clearly ticking in her brain and he’s not sure if he should be scared or not. “Okay I won’t go with the hunting party. Like you said I don’t know anything about weapons or nothing” she states quietly. His eyes narrow at the change of heart; his sister is well known for being as stubborn as a mule and he can’t believe that she would give up after nearly a full year of pleading to go above. She licks her lips again, biting on her bottom lip, eyes darting from side to side. He sighs heavily.
“Spit it out” he snaps. He’s tired and hungry, and he doesn’t want to deal with pre-teenage drama. She draws herself up to her full height, head tipped back and a look of determination on her face.
“What if I helped Miss Eleanor in the garden instead?” she asks nervously. He blinks. Blinks again. And then lets out a groan. He feels like tearing his hair out. “Come on Joel you agreed with Jamie only a few days ago that she’s getting a bit to old to be going up there all the time and she has a lot of trouble getting down to pull up weeds and the like. And the garden is one of the most important parts of living now! Its not dangerous being up there, there’s a watcher at all times and I’d still be in the compound! I’d be safe and I’d be helping and I’d be out from under foot. Everyone is saying that I’m just getting in the way but I’m not doing anything productive, well this would be a perfect way to help everyone out!” she cries, fists shaking as she pleads with him. He tips his head back to look up at the jagged ceiling, wondering if the gods were just messing with him. “Please Joel! Please! I promise I’ll do everything Miss Eleanor says! And I’ll do anything you say too! And I’ll clean up our bedroom and-” he holds up a hand to stop her tirade of empty promises. Sighing he thinks it over. Its true that Miss Eleanor was getting on in years, and soon it would be too difficult for her to climb the stairs to the exit ever day. She had been asking if anyone would want to help learn how to take care of the garden but most had shown little interest in it. They all had to help out in some way around the bunker but the garden tended to get the least amount of help despite how important it was. Most wanted to have the excitement of being in the hunting groups, getting the praise for bringing back food rather then the dull task of watering plants and trying to keep a small amount of crops from dying. Other then being a trouble maker his baby sister did seem to have a green thumb; she’d been gifted a wild rose for her last birthday and it was still going strong. It was her pride and joy, and nothing made her happier then watering it. He’d even caught her singing to the damn thing and chattering away about her day. She claimed that plants could tell how you were feeling and reacted accordingly. He thought it was crazy talk but didn’t dare say anything, he didn’t fancy having to play hide and seek for his belongings because she’d decided he needed to be taught a lesson and hidden them around the bunker, again. Whilst every nerve in his body screamed at him to not let her go to the garden he knew that he couldn’t keep treating her like a child forever, and at least if she was helping in the garden she would be out from underfoot for a while. He forced the memories of blood and screams and his mother’s voice away as he looked down at his sister. She looked so much like their mother that sometimes it physically hurt to look at her. Just like their mother she was a green thumb too, and he knew if he denied her this then things would only get worse. Summer would soon be here and she would be put to work doing whatever task Jamie thought best, only asking him permission as a courtesy rather then because he actually needed it. Emma could end up being on the hunting team, or pushed to helping out Doctor Peter’s, or worse still, on boiler duty. His sister would go insane if she landed that particular job and she would only become worse with her attitude later on. But if she picked up a job now, showed interest and did well, then there would be no questioning about her being moved to something different. Whilst he personally couldn’t stand going anywhere near the garden due to the horrors he’d seen there his sister had not had that nightmare, and it was slightly unfair to put his fears of the past onto her. Sighing again and wondering if their parents would have had so many difficulties raising the little hell spawn he decided that for once, just this once, he could give in to her request. Scratching at his cheek he sighs and nods his head. Giving her with a hard look he nods his head. Her eyes go impossibly wide.
“Really? I can go?” she asks in a whisper, stunned by his silent agreement. His lips twitch a little as he chuckles.
“Yes, you can go” he tells her quietly. He’s not expecting the little blonde to charge at him but it makes him laugh as she clings to him like a koala, pressing her face into his chest and hugging him tightly.
“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cries, happy tears falling down her face making him crack a real smile. He holds her back gently, rubbing her back until she lets go and grins up at him. He shakes his head and rests his palms on the edge of the table.
“You will follow everything Miss Eleanor says. You will not argue if the watcher tells you to return inside. You will also be responsible for cleaning up our room from now on. That’s the agreement; you get to do gardening work but you have to do other chores to. No arguing on that else I’ll withdraw my consent” he warns and she nods her head like a bobble head doll, grinning and bouncing on the balls of her feet.
“I promise Joel, I’ll do all of that!” she exclaims brightly. He shakes his head at her enthusiasm. She starts skipping towards the corridor but he calls her back, and she pauses to look over her shoulder at him, head tilted to the side with a curious look on her face.
“Last thing” he says, moving across the small room to stand in front of her. She has to tip her head back to meet his hard gaze. “You come see me every time before going above and you come directly back to me after your done. If you get side tracked or don’t bother I will withdraw consent and make sure Jamie puts you on laundry duty and boiler break down tasks for the rest of your life” he says with a hard tone. Her eyes widen at that before she shakes her head, quickly hugging him.
“I promise Joel, I’ll come see you every time and I won’t let you down” she replies quietly. He hums and pats her head, moving out of her arms.
“Alright... just... alright” he mutters, unsure of what else there is to say. She beams at him, hands folding behind her back and swaying side to side.
“Is it okay if I go with Miss Eleanor after breakfast?” she asks hopefully. He sighs and nods his head, waving at her to go on. She beams and hurries away. Once she’s out of sight he crumples on to the stool, head resting in his hands. His black hair ruffled with the breeze and he could hear the echo’s of his sister’s excited chattering to the others, some cooing and some giving warnings at how hard of a task master Miss Eleanor is. Joel sighs and wipes his eyes, feeling more then just twenty two years old. His baby sister was growing up. Hopefully, gods willing, she wouldn’t end up like their mother had.
*
