Going Back

' ... And while they were there,' Dave was telling Lee in confidence, ‘he decided to go for a massage. Not the kinky type,’ he told him, ‘but the proper thing - a proper therapeutic one. Anyway,’ he continued, with a grin creeping over his face, ‘he started getting a hard-on, didn’t he!’

Lee began to laugh. He could well imagine Jimmy struggling with an erection while having a Thai massage.

' ... And the bird noticed, and she says to him, "Hey, Mister. You want wank?" He let out a loud laugh. ‘Well, apparently, old Jimmy ummed and ahhed for at least a millisecond and said, “Yeah, why not!” So this bird goes out of the room, and he waited, waited and waited. She must have been gone for about ten minutes, and then when she went back into the room, she fuckin’ said, "you finished wanking yet!"

The pair of them collapsed about, laughing.

‘Oh, no!’ said Lee, covering his face with his hands.

Dave laughed into his schooner as he drained it. ‘You having another one?’

Lee cast an eye to the clock, knowing he should really be going home, but thought tonight - no, fuck it! ‘Yeah, same again.’

‘Hey, Lee,’ called Frank the bar-man, holding the telephone up for him. ‘Your Missus is on the phone.’

Lee took a cigarette from his packet, placed it between his lips and lit it before replying. ‘Tell her I’m on my way.’

It was then Bob walked in.

‘Alright?’ greeted Dave, waving his empty schooner glass at him. ‘Want one?’

Bob nodded, pulling up a stool beside Lee. ‘Yeah, get us a bottle of cold.’ Then once Dave turned his attention back to the bar, Bob nudged Lee. ‘I’ve got to talk to you, mate.’

That was it! She’d had enough!

Linzi flung the phone down on the sofa, fuming. ‘Turn your fuckin’ mobile on you arsehole!′ she shouted.

Her face was pinched with anger.

It was now half-past ten and he was meant to have been home four hours ago! Where the hell had he got to?

Angrily, she stormed into the kitchen where she ground the end of her cigarette out in the over-flowing ashtray. What she would usually smoke in a week, she had managed to get through in just two hours. So much for a quiet night in – dinner, wine, videos ... well, dinner lined the bin over an hour ago, and the videos could go to hell for all she cared.

She yanked open the fridge door and snatched up the bottle of wine, her anger fuelled further when only a dribble trickled out. ‘Fuck him!’ she cursed, smashing the empty bottle into the bin. She snatched up the $40 bottle of red she had bought to share over dinner and stabbed it with the corkscrew. How dare he do this to her - the bastard!

It was after midnight when Lee finally arrived home. He made his way up the stairs, ready to face the barrage of abuse he usually received when he hadn’t come home on time. But tonight, everything seemed quiet - unnaturally quiet.

Carefully, he put the key into the lock so as not to wake her if she’d fallen asleep in front of the television, and silently opened the door.

For once, there was no Linzi sat manically on the edge of the sofa, phone books pulled out and left lying on the floor - although the phone was off the hook, her mobile was off, and as usual, the ashtray was overflowing with anxiously half-smoked cigarettes. There was an empty bottle of wine sat on the table beside a glass with a snapped stem, where she had quite clearly lost the plot and slammed it down on the table, only succeeding in smashing it - he then noticed the Mersyndol packet and shook his head. She’d got herself drunk and wiped herself out again.

Lee didn’t bother trying to find her and went through to the kitchen, continuing to be quiet. The last thing he needed right now was her in his face, not after the bombshell Bob had dropped on him tonight.

He let out a long, exhausted sigh in need of another beer, and after taking one from the fridge, opened it on the end of his tee-shirt and went out and sat on the swing seat on the balcony, then lit a cigarette.

Considering the amount he’d had to drink tonight, he felt remarkably sober - Bob’s words going round in his head repeatedly.

‘I saw Stacey today ...’

Lee frowned before he’d even finished his sentence.

′ ... She was getting out of a cab outside the Sea Breeze Guest House on Arden Street with a guy. They’d got a load of suitcases with ‘em.’

Lee considered this for a moment before shaking his head. ‘Nah,’ he said in all confidence. ‘It wouldn’t have been her. She’d never come back here again.’

But Bob was adamant. ‘Well, if it wasn’t her, then she’s got a pretty good double, I’m telling you.’

Lee continued to shake his head. ‘Nah.’

Bob just shrugged as Lee then turned to him with a frown. ‘Didn’t the Sea Breeze close down a few months ago?’

‘I don’t know, mate,’ he replied, shrugging again. ‘I know the old bird that ran it died a while ago, but I don’t know if it actually closed down.’

Lee bit his lip. ‘It’s been closed for ages.’

He tried to imagine Stacey coming back to Coogee but found himself unable to see it. ‘No...’ then, ‘... are you sure it was her?’

Bob nodded with confidence. ‘I know I haven’t seen her in five years, but it was definitely her.’

‘But what would she be doing going into a closed down Guest House with a load of suitcases?’

Bob pulled a face. Like Lee, he had no idea.

The pair of them then sat and debated the situation for the best part of an hour before deciding to go to the barbeque area in front of the beach, just a stone’s throw away from the Guest House, with a case of beer, where they could sit and discreetly check the place out, and found there was clearly someone inside the house, as the lights were on and there was movement behind the curtains.

In the time they’d sat there watching, no one came, and no one went, and when the lights finally went out round about midnight, they gave up and went home, still none the wiser.

Lee took a long drag on his cigarette as he leaned forwards, propping his elbows on his knees, the frown engraved on his forehead deepening as the same questions went round in his head.

Was it her?

If it was, then what was she doing there in a closed-down Guest House - and who the hell was he?

An overwhelming feeling of hostility engulfed him as he thought about the one and only girl he’d ever fallen for.

Their relationship had been doomed from the start, and he’d only got himself to blame. He had lost her through his own bloody arrogance and had worn the scar deep inside ever since.

He drank from his bottle feeling really bitter, wishing that Bob had never told him.

It was humid, very, very humid - too hot to sleep, though no one seemed to have told Martyn, thought Stacey, as she slipped quietly out of bed so as not to disturb him and went downstairs.

She loved having an upstairs and downstairs - it was a thing she’d never had before. Stairs were definitely a novelty that wasn’t going to wear off for a long time.

She went along the dimly lit hallway and into the big bright open kitchen with its huge sliding glass window which opened out into the pretty little courtyard, and after making a cup of coffee, she went and sat outside on the little brick wall and looked up at the house with a smile.

They had been so lucky to inherit this beautiful old sandstone home. It was so quaint, though she wished to God, it had been somewhere other than Coogee. She hadn’t wanted to go back for a visit, let alone have to live there again, but how could she ever have explained that to Martyn?

Her stomach churned in a sickening knot every time she’d thought about moving back there, and had hoped that Lee had eventually gone back to England - but she had a strong feeling he hadn’t. And that feeling was so strong she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. And couldn’t shake a feeling she’d been having for a long time now, that eventually, she was going to bump into him again somewhere. A thought that terrified her.

‘Ah, there you are.’

Stacey snapped out of her thoughts as Martyn came into the courtyard clutching his private parts in a bunch of bath-towel, his black hair standing on end, and drops of water still sitting on his dark tanned skin.

‘You’ve showered already,’ she said in surprise. ‘You were flat out 10 minutes ago.’

He draped an arm around her shoulders as he sat down beside her, kissing her on the side of her head, when he suddenly noticed the bruise on her cheek. And choosing not to mention it, he pulled her into his side, remembering, during their celebrations last night, he’d got angry with her when she’d shown no interest in “christening” their new home by having sex on the living room floor, and they’d argued. It had only been a minor row, but enough to make him snap, and having had one glass of champagne too many, he’d given her a backhander. It was best left unmentioned. After all, they’d obviously made up, or she wouldn’t be talking to him right now. The night after a certain point was a total blur.

The phone began to ring.

Stacey and Martyn looked at one another before getting up and going through to the telephone table beside the front door, wondering who it could be - and not particularly wanting to answer it before knowing who it was, left the answering machine to pick up.

"Thank you for calling the Sea Breeze Guest House, Coogee Beach. Due to family circumstances, we are currently closed. Please leave your name, number and a short message clearly and slowly after the beep, and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can. Thank you"

Beep.

Lee hung up without leaving a message and knew without a shadow of a doubt that that was Stacey’s voice.

The frown that had been on his brow since half-past six the previous night deepened as a million thoughts went through his head.

"Due to family circumstances, we’re currently closed?"

That place had nothing to do with her family from what he remembered? Her parents had owned her old flat on Beach Street, and he’d seen that go up for sale over two years ago. A huge question mark hung over his head.

It was half-past eight Saturday morning, and Linzi was still out cold.

Lee hadn’t made it to bed last night as he’d fallen asleep, beer bottle in hand, on the swing-seat outside.

He now went out of the door as quietly as he’d come in eight and a half hours ago and headed back to Bob’s.

It was the sound of knocking on the front door that eventually roused Linzi from her deep alcohol and painkiller induced coma, and she felt like hell! Her mouth was dry, and the Mersyndols she had taken had left her feeling vague, nauseous and fuzzy in the head.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

‘All right, all right!’ she grouched as she dragged herself out of bed.

It was 10 o’clock.

‘Jesus Christ!’

She pulled her thick blonde unruly curls into a loose knot at the nape of her neck, leaving a couple of breakaway spirals hanging messily around her face, and then grumpily opened the door. Her grumpiness turning into irritation of the first degree when she found

Claire and Liam standing there.

‘Oh, it’s you.’ she said, non too politely.

There was no love lost there.

Claire forced a tight smile and tried looking over Linzi’s shoulder.

‘Where’s Lee?’ she asked abruptly, wondering why he hadn’t come to pick up Liam that morning.

Linzi let out an irritable sigh as she opened the door wider to let them both in.

Claire’s eyes immediately scanned the flat, checking out the furnishings for anything new, and finding nothing but a mess on the coffee table, turned her attention back to Linzi, not hiding the fact she was looking her up and down.

‘So, where is he?’ she asked. ‘Still in bed?’

Judging by the state of Linzi, Claire guessed they’d had a big night the night before and could tell by her crumpled clothes that she had obviously slept in them.

' ... I’ll go and get him,' she mumbled, shooting daggers at Liam as she went by.

For the past three years, these two had been the bane of her life, as she’d had to play surrogate mother to this child every second weekend, and that she absolutely resented. It cut into her time with Lee! If she’d wanted children, she’d bloody well have had them!

She turned and went through to the bedroom and was stunned when she found him not there.

Immediately she frowned. Where the hell was he?

She checked the spare room and her mood darkened further when she found he wasn’t there either. Her face looked like thunder as she immediately assumed that he’d not come home at all last night!

You wait, she cursed bitterly.

She went back into the living room, avoiding eye contact and flung the balcony doors open to get some fresh air circulating, refusing to let Claire know anything about this. But Claire detected her tension straight away and felt an inner satisfaction.

Ha! She thought. Finally!

‘So where is he?’ she pried, smugly. ‘He knows its Liam’s weekend. I only spoke to him yesterday.’

She patted her four-year old son on the shoulder, only mentioning the phone call just to let Linzi know that she and Lee spoke on a regular basis, and it hit the nerve she’d intended it to!

Serial bitch! Thought Linzi, and pretending to be unfazed, she stared Lee’s ex-girlfriend in the eye and said, ‘well something’s obviously come up. You know Lee. Never sees anything outside his own circle.’ She flashed a tight smile at her, enjoying adding that just to remind her that she wasn’t as important to Lee as she’d like to think she was.

For a moment, they just looked at one another before Claire had the strangest pang of compassion for the tragic looking girl.

She knew exactly how she’d be feeling and bet it was the same old story - Friday night after-work drinks with the boys, “I won’t be long,” - then two or three hours later - “I’m just on my way,” – then no show. Something always came up! Anger sets in. A vat of wine later and nearly a million cigarettes, a few dishes get smashed in the sink. Dinner hits the bin after another wasted night sitting in, waiting for him to come home. Then finally the big ring around to see if anyone had seen him as his mobile is off! Eventually, bed, totally wiped out to make sure she could sleep through the night.

How pathetic had she been? And now it looked like history repeating itself. No amount of crying, arguing, shouting or trying to get your own back ever worked with him, as that would be his ticket to just turn around, go back out and do it all over again!

If you wanted to stay with Lee, you had to, basically, keep your mouth shut, be there when he wanted you, and grin and bear it - no questions asked.

Linzi stood there looking like an extra from Trainspotting, with her pale, drawn face, dark puffy eyes, and traces of lipstick still smeared on her lips.

‘You look terrible.’ Claire then told her in all honesty, her tone softening a little, in the hope of extracting some truths out of this girl who was determined not to like her.

‘I’m fine.’ she lied, having resented Claire from day one for sticking her oar in, and letting her know how Lee was incapable of being faithful to anyone. ‘I had a splitting headache yesterday and made the mistake of taking too many Mersyndols. They always do this to me. I should probably never take them.’

‘Well, do you think you could call him for me please, and let him know we’re here?’ Claire then asked a little more politely.

But Linzi was blunt. ‘No,’ she told her. She had no intention of phoning him while Claire was standing there to witness what would inevitably turn into an argument. ‘He won’t be long, or he’d have left a note.’

She started towards the door in the hope of bundling the pair of them out onto the stairwell.

‘He’ll come round and pick him up when he gets back.’

But Claire, objecting to Linzi’s ignorance, decided to be difficult in return.

She had never left Liam alone with Linzi before and decided this time she would – just to piss her off.

Linzi had no idea when Lee was coming home, and she knew it!

‘Well, I’ve actually got plans today - plans that don’t, unfortunately, include my beautiful little boy.’ She held Liam against her side and hugged him. ‘You don’t mind staying with Auntie Linzi, do you, darling? Daddy won’t be long.’

She smiled as she crouched down to his level.

Liam’s bottom lip wobbled as he looked up from his mother to Linzi, who now glared down at Claire in horror.

Claire chuckled to herself. Linzi couldn’t hide her feelings if her life depended on it!

She took Liam’s backpack and handed it to Linzi, giving her a rundown of dos and don’ts in Lee’s absence.

Big tears welled in Liam’s eyes, and he started to cry.

Little brat! Thought Linzi.

‘Daddy won’t be long, sweetheart. Auntie Linzi might take you down to the park and buy you an ice cream.’

The moment Claire set foot outside the door, Linzi placed Liam in front of the television and snatched up the ’phone.

‘You’ve had it this time, Stevens!’ she promised. ‘Staying out all night and leaving the witch to dump your kid on me!’

The phone only rang twice before Lee answered.

‘Linzi,’ he said, reading her name on the display screen.

‘What the fuck do you think you’re playing at!’ she demanded, snapping the moment she heard his voice.

She stomped through to the kitchen so Liam would stop staring at her, noticing the lack of distinct background noises that usually told her he was still in a club somewhere or early opening pub. ‘Where the fuck are you?’

‘Calm down for God’s sake!’ he exclaimed, raising his voice. ‘I’m round Bob’s. Why what’s up?’

‘What’s up?’ she yelled, pushing her blood pressure to the limit. ‘You stay out all night, and you ask what’s up!’

‘I didn’t stay out all night,’ he told her, casting Bob a knowing look.

Bob rolled his eyes to the ceiling and left Lee to it.

‘Yeah, right!’ she spat. ‘So how come you’re there at this time in the morning?’ She hadn’t trusted the pair of them together since Bob’s long term girlfriend had walked out on him a month ago. ′ ... And if you did come in, how come you never came to bed?′

‘For fuck’s sake, Linzi, calm down!’

‘Don’t you tell me to calm down, you arsehole! You plan a night in, let me get wine, videos – cook dinner, and what do you do? Fuck off with your mate and leave me sitting here like some kind of fuckin’ idiot while you’re out doing God knows what! You don’t give a shit about me!′

Lee shook his head, having had it with all this drama.

'Well, if you hadn’t have wiped yourself out on wine and Mersyndols, you’d have known I did come in last night. I was late because Bob locked himself out, and I helped him get back in.′

Bob’s eyes widened instantly, and he looked at him over the top of his newspaper, and Lee winked - no sooner the thought had entered his head, it was out of his mouth.

‘So why the fuck didn’t you call me!’ she shouted angrily.

‘For one, my phone needed charging,’ he told her, raising his voice, ‘and two, I didn’t know I was going to be that long! I was about to leave the pub when Bob walked in telling me he’d locked himself out. We had to find a ladder, and by the time we managed to get one and got in, I had a few beers with him then walked home. I came round this morning to pick the car up.’

Linzi silently fumed. He’d got an answer for everything. ‘Well, you’d better get your arse back here fast because your delightful ex has just dumped your son on me.’

With that, she slammed down the phone, and Lee closed his eyes.

‘Shit!’

He’d forgotten about Liam with all this Stacey stuff.

He would have to put everything on hold now until Monday.