Chapter 1
Before I start this book please know I do not support toxic environments and they should not be supported. This book will also be on Quotev day of release!!
This book has a lot of NSWF, abuse, trauma, death, PTSD, rape etc.
DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18- This book was made for mature audiences and these are original characters except for the creepy- pasta crew, they belong to their original owners. So if you see them here, please do not comment any hate. There will also be characters of the age 16+. Please be advised. This book also takes place back in 2010!!
Thank you! Enjoy the book!!
(((book originally created by Alex Slater: Me))
The television would be blaring in the living room as mom and dad shouted at each other in the middle of it. I would be watching in silence as Jesse held her bowl almost concentrating on it- Waiting for a miracle to happen of some sort.
''You d- don't do shit around here! What the fuck have you ever done for us?! Nothing! Go fuck yourself, Vincent!'' Dad shouted back at her swinging his hands in her face to simply antagonize her and it worked.
''Yeah? And you're so perfect? Have you married your goddamn self?!''
Mom scoffed in disapproval. Mom always thought of herself to be better than anyone, including her own family. She used us in ways that is unimaginable but most people who don't know us clearly see different ''Aren't you sick of this?'' I turned my head to see Jesse still looking at her now empty cereal bowl ''Mom fighting with dad and Dad eventually hitting her till she passes out?'' Her voice was stern but yet soft. Jesse did her best to protect us both when it came to our parents but it always failed her in the end.
Dad barged in the kitchen heading towards the fridge ''Veronica! VERONICA!!'' He charged back out the kitchen after slamming the fridge door right after he opened it just for a few seconds ''Get the fuck back over here!''
Jesse quickly scooted her chair back from the kitchen table exiting herself out from the kitchen and back to our bedroom. Her brown hair covering half of her face when she did exit out the small space of a room. Mom shouted louder at Dad before transitioning the shouts to screams of pain, agony and regret. I can see from the corner of the kitchen doorway he had her in a tight headlock, causing her legs to kick as high as they could with her body trying to find its way to help her break free ''You mean fucking s-shit!'' He would cry out in loud grunts ''If you were to fucking die? No o-one w-would give a f-fuck!'' Mom's eyes widened at the sudden immense strength he made on her now; Her face turning a bright red from the lack of oxygen he was giving her.
''ENOUGH!!'' Jesse came up behind them both swinging the living room vase across the back of his head, Dad then letting go of mom before he stumbled around holding his now bleeding head. Jesse's chest would be heaving rapidly up and down in adrenaline before suddenly- Her terrified green orbs would meet with my blue set. She appeared to come out of a horror movie with her hair all wet from her sweat and the smudged mascara tainted on her eyes, dripping down her cheeks. Mom stared at her blankly. When I approached the door in a small run she now glanced at me in such worrisome expression ''How c-could you?!'' She asked gritting her teeth ''The both of you!'' It left both us of speechless and unresponsive. Dad was mumbling to himself about the pain instead of what Jessie had done to him ''He is your f-father and you do this to him?!'' Jessie opened her mouth to defend herself but the disbelief had left her unable to say anything. Mom didn't bother saying anything else. Instead, she leaned down to help dad from the ground. ''Fuck this..'' Jesse whispered leaving the room. Taking a few minutes to look at Mom's affection towards Dad I rushed to Jessie's aid ''H-hey!'' She paced back and forth from her closet to our bed with loads of clothes and accessories. Her face formed a displeased frown when she narrowed her eyebrows shaking her head when she took a look up at me. Snickering she said ''Can you fucking believe her?! After all the fucking shit we have done for that bitch!'' She was right and Jessie has every right to be upset with our mother but what she was doing was scaring me. My arms were feeling numb as well as my bones within my body ''Wh-Where are you going?'' Jessie ignored me as she stuffed more of her clothes inside the large brown suitcase ''Jessie!'' I shouted, her eyes shifted to me but they were dull. They weren't lit up like they usually would be, her hands clenching hard on the sides of the luggage she finally parted her lips to speak ''I'm sorry Abigail but-'' She paused taking a hesitating gulp ''I have to leave this place''
My heart made a pounce against my chest causing my hands to tremble in reaction. Her words drilling into my mind forever tainting it. She made a few steps to me but decided to walk back to her suitcase and head for the door instead. My eyes gluing themselves on our bedroom floor. Mom and dad were beginning to scream at each other again. Their voices muffled and faded away. Jessie grabbed Dad's car keys from the kitchen table making her way out the backdoor of the house. Knowing how my parents are being right now I know I can't chase after her, I couldn't risk myself or Jessie getting hurt or beaten by both of them.
''You shut your fucking mouth!'' Dad screamed in mom's face while she held the needle she had used against her arm swinging it around his face, grinning and chuckling in mischief like she always did to piss him off.
''What are you gonna do, huh?! Your own daughter knocked your old ass to the fucking ground!! Say something about that fucking shit!'' I watched from the kitchen window as she approached dad's car and climbed inside of it at the throwing her bag. Jessie would glance to me but the sadness in her eyes lingered on and all I wanted to do was run after her and beg her to stay, though she wouldn't listen to me. The truck started then she exited the driveway soon after, my eyes following the tires before they vanished into the darkness of the outside.
Our parents were not always like this. Mom and dad were once happy and in love like any other ordinary married couple. She once told me before she became psycho that dad slept with four of her friends and got two of them pregnant; Mom was shattered and heartbroken. He began to drink his life away, rarely coming home and whenever he did he abused her, gave her bruises you name it. Mom later on ended up giving birth to my older sister, eventually having me later on in the next year. Jessie told me I wasn't supposed to happen that our father violated our mother and forcefully got her pregnant. When I first heard this I wanted to hug mom and comfort her and remind her I still loved her. But, by this time, I was already twelve and lost moms all emotional feeling from the drugs consuming her day in and day out. Jessie was left to take care of me making sure I went to school and participated with the other kids, I guess. Teachers questioned this but never bothered to investigate because in their eyes there wasn't much to go with, marks or life threatening.
Next Day
Dad and Mom were both passed out on each other on the living room couch when I walked by them to make my way out the front door. Mom's face was smudged with makeup. They both reeked of Alcohol and cigarettes. Dad had his arm hanging over the couch with his other resting behind the sofa and her head laying on his upper chest. I slammed the door behind me and walked to the bus stop. I felt the rain pour heavily down upon me once I stepped down the balcony steps. I raised up my hoodie to do my best and cover myself up– Even if it was just a little bit. I couldn't help but worry about Jessie and where she ran off to.. I wonder if she regrets running away and basically abandoning me- if that even has crossed her mind at all. The bus was just arriving and it's usual stop and I'm now debating whether I should go or not. The driver kept going when he realized I wasn't there, he drove up the street and passed right by me, questionably missing me, I smirked to myself knowing at least this pattern has never changed.
I called up one of my friends Natalia but when she didn't pick up I left her a message asking if I could swing by her place:
"Hey, I'm skipping school again. Mind if I swing by for the day? Another fight broke out at my place so I need a clear area for my head" Natalia wouldn't respond to my text for the next hour since she's with her little brother at his daycare center. I know this because when I first started ditching school I used to have to go tag along with her to places and the daycare was one of them. Kids, I'll never understand them and their chaotic bullshit. The rain now poured harder, soaking my clothes and drenching my shoes with the mud piles on the sidewalk, I simply rolled my eyes and did my hardest to dismiss it.
I spent the entire day at a Denny's diner with hunger eating me alive. I had no money on me to get myself anything so I spared time drawing in my sketchpad to ignore the grumble noises my stomach made. Before I knew it my phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket: My mother was calling me.
''Hello?'' I answered nervously, I was hoping she didn't find out about my sneaky schedule. It was silent for a while before a voice cracked on the other side ''H-hi honey, where are you?'' I hesitantly responded ''I uh.. I'm at school, Mom''
Her voice was so soft and so sincere which it never was. She was like a complete different person. Was it because Jessie is gone? Is it because they want to pull me in with care before they interrogate me when I get home? I can't put my finger on it but I knew I had to be careful.
''Honey, I love you'' Mom chuckled choking up ''I always have and I always loved your sister. I know I haven't been the best mom in the entire world and-'' I stopped her in fear of what was the intent of her words ''Mom! Mom what's going on?'' She reassured me with her coos and continued ''Listen to me baby.. I am fine and so is your father okay? We know Jessie is gone and we just wanted to let you know we never stopped loving you both! Our problems had nothing to do with both of you! Your father and I have just always been mentally Ill! And we are so so sorry girls.. I am so sorry I was never around when you needed me but listen to me! Listen to me okay baby girl? I want you to always know you never stopped being my great white! My little saber-tooth tiger'' '' Dad jumped in near the end of her sentence. My face suddenly became hot while my eyes were filled with nothing but tears pouring down my face drop by drop ''We have never stopped caring about you girls. You both are nothing but gifts to us'' ''Why are you doing this?! What are you trying to do her-'' The call ended. My hand would attach itself harder on my phone but I shoved it back in my pocket before I decided to throw it and break it.. Later regretting it. How could they pull this shit now?! Right after Jessie leaves!? That is utter horseshit and fucking sick! I cannot wait till I turn eighteen and move out of this fucking shithole of a home. I grabbed my things and shoved them back into my backpack when I exited the restaurant soon after and walked the four-ty minute distance to my home from Denny's.
I scanned around the windows when I arrived and I seen everything was still in their right places: Plants by the window seals, curtains still intact and the window glasses unbroken. I was expecting to see a difference but who knows what awaits me inside "Dad? Mom?" I closed the door behind me dropping my bookbag by the coat rack when I steadily took a few steps into the dim lit up home. But, the more I analyzed my house, the more darker it became; Blood was splattered around the halls, the decorations mom had put up for Christmas were tainted with droplets of blood and torn apart from the tree from whoever broke them ''Mom! What the fuck happene-'' I pushed up in the basement door and I regretted it when I did.
Oh no.
No.
''NO! NO!!! MOMMY!!!!''
My small orbs became wide instantly when they met with a horrific scene.
The entire mess of the household was from both of them.
It was them who created the blood scene ''Dad! M-mom! N-no-no! Pl-please! Please wake up!'' I scurried towards my mother who was laying beside my father, lifeless with her eyes facing the ceiling fear forever lunged in them. Terror was the last thing my mother's eyes were to see and I wasn't here to prevent it ''D-daddy?'' Turning beside me my father was facing the other direction: His eyes shot open ''Oh.. Daddy.. D-daddy no!'' Still holding my mom I stretched to bring my dad's face to gaze mine and the look on him surprised me. It wasn't the look of a mad man it was the look of a man who was forced to meet his end and couldn't do anything to save himself or my mother. This wasn't real. This wasn't happening. None of this was fucking happening.
''PLEASE! PLEASE WAKE UUUUP!!!'' I cried out holding the both of them and just hearing myself I feared my own voice, my own screams of agony, suffering and pain. They were both cold and lifeless both of them were covered in open wounds: My mother's chest being slashed with her arms following My father. My once.. devoted loving father shot in the center of his head with his throat being slit from ear to ear ''Daddy! P-please! Please wake u-up! I n-need you b-both to wake up! P-please!''
Just shaking him now was extremely harder for me than when he was alive because now he felt like a rag doll that was over 200 pounds. His eyes remaining still and lost, mouth spread open ''You begged for your life.. didn't you daddy?'' I checked around the body and the more I looked I spotted more open wounds, my father had his right side ripped open by a sharp weapon making the inside of his side viewable. I gagged at the sight. I have to call the police. I calmed myself down letting them go with ease, my heart painfully aching in my chest at the thought of never seeing them again. My mother, My fucking gorgeous loving mother's last words were she loved me. My father reminding me he never stopped loving me ''Why did you fucking! leave! me! YOU WERE ALL I HAD!!!'' I punched them both with each arm at their chests yet their corpses only moving hesitantly ''I loved you.. both.. so, so fucking much!'' My crying sounding muffled against my dad's shirt as I tangled it in a grip all the while taking in his scent ''Daddy..'' I now will forever live my life knowing my parents truly loved me. Their words were that they always appreciated me and never blamed me for their problems..
''Hello 911 what is your emergency?''
''Hi uh.. I'd like to report a murder..''
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John- the cop who brought me into his police car reassuring me that I'll be alright, walked me inside the small interrogation room bringing me some coffee and a bag of Dorito chips to go with it. He stood in front of me with his arms crossed concerned about my well being as well as trying to comprehend the scene he had just witnessed. My eyes kept shifting around the room unable to keep facing forward due to my adrenaline still coursing through my body ''What exactly.. happened, Abigail?'' looking up at him I gulped nervously nodding at his question.
''I'm sorry- I-I'm just still trying to process.. everything, I guess''
He pulled the chair in front of him backwards before then taking a seat in it.
''I don't exactly know.. what you're going through but.. I can at least try to understand what it is you're feeling''
''My sister abandoned me'' I started ''She left me in the middle of night, packed her things and just upped and ran'' John leaned closer taking a harder look into my eyes when his eyebrows narrowed down ''She- She was tired of my parents fighting all the time'' He chimed in after that statement when he asked ''Were you tired of the fighting?''
Was I? I began to question that myself.
Even though my parents were lunatics and assholes I adored and loved them either way so there was no way I was.. tired, of it.
Shrugging my shoulders, glancing away I mumbled under my breath ''Not really'' I sighed ''I just wanted us to be happy again and so did Jessie''
''What changed?''
''My father's affairs and alcoholism''
''What changed within your mom? Why did she follow your father?''
''Jessie told me my mom was distraught over dad's affairs and she regretted having me because it only stressed him out and made him drink and go out more'' I can tell I was gaining sympathy from the man sitting in front of me, taking notes of every answer I give him. His face said it all.
My leg shaking terribly under the table to the point my knee kept hitting the wood above it continuously.
''Who do you think would want to hurt your parents?''
My face would then turn to a blank zero emotionless expression. My arms crossed over my chest before slowly dropping to my stomach, my legs becoming weak, tears welling up in my eyes and my heart race going from minimum to max. The images of my parents lying dead flashed through my mind rapidly with my mom and dads corpse lying there in front of me as I screamed for help.
''No one''
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A few hours went by after the short interrogation when I was told I could leave. I was asked by a few cops if I had any other family members and I said no- my parents never really got along with either family member of theirs. Before John and a lady by the name of 'Mavis' could put me in foster care an old southern man approached us from behind claiming to be my grandfather. His face was all wrinkled up but average for an old person. He was very thin with long grayish- white hair that reached his shoulders and his clothes put well together on him. He had his brown shirt tucked in around his pants, his belt holding them up ''Her father-'' He walked up beside me resting his hand on my shoulder tenderly when he gave everyone a weak but soon an uplift smile ''My boy of course was very close to me even after all his drinkin and yappin! When I heard about the news on the television and found out his baby-girl was the only one alive.. I just had to come get her'' Mavis pierced her brown orbs on my 'grandfathers' while she asked him a few more questions of my father. He knew almost everything that there was needed to know. He talked about how my dad was in high school and how the community-filled women changed him for the worst but he insisted it was never my mother's fault; He actually reassured us that my mother was a good woman with good intentions its just my father never knew what good he had because he was too blind from the beers he drank ''She looks exactly like her dear ole mama'' His finger then grazed my chin delicately, dragging it up to my cheek when he would then caress it almost hesitantly.
''Sweet blue eyes just like she had! Except, the rest is her daddy!'' He laughed loudly holding his stomach, lightly rocking himself back and forth ''She got her daddy's eyebrows and shoulders!''
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The sun started to go down and we were still on the road back home. Sam, My grandfather, clenched on the steering wheel as we drove over a gravel road that led us to a really creepy routed scenery. It wasn't so awkward- I mean, we got off on a good start since we mostly talked about my dad and how devoted he was to become a father just like him. Whenever he spoke about my dad I can note how his fingers would twitch against the wheel but he would do his best to remain calm.. I wonder what happened between them. Why did my dad stop talking to him? Why didn't he reach out to my dad? It was things I wanted to know but I knew It was too early to ask such deep questions that could be personal. ''You know sweetheart, your sister was a good person'' My eyes lit up in shock ''You knew her?'' He nodded letting out a soft chuckle ''Well of course! I knew about the both of you! your daddy never kept you guys a secret from his good ole man!'' My grandfather used his left hand to dig in his pocket all the while using his right to keep the wheel steady and the car at ease.
''Your nana adored you both so much she couldn't stop bakin for the both you girls! Heck, she was the love of my life.. She still is. Though, Your dad never came eye to eye when it came to her''
''Why?''
I don't remember any of these things happening.. My grandmother baking me and Jessie things? Why didn't Jessie tell me any of this? I don't even know my own family.
''I don't know and neither did she.. We always thought it was because she worked too much or because she was hard on him. He was also a troubled kid.. He just refused to listen to any of us the moment he stepped foot in that old high-school he went to'' Before I could ask him if he was okay, He ruffled up my hair with the brightest beaming smile. His dimples revealing themselves as he did ''But as soon as he met your mother oh boy did he change for the better''
''How was that like?'' I met with his eyes again ''My mom when she was young'' Papaw put both his hands on the wheel again but continued filling me on the love story of my parents ''Oh your mama was a delight ray of sunshine! Haha, I remember she would always come over every Monday mornin with a new baked pie and fresh apples for your Nana. Your father once told me one of the reasons he fell in love with her was because she was always just so kind and giving to others no matter who the person was or where they came from. Your mother resisted at first I can tell you that!'' Laughing in surprise I questioned that. We both laughed in sync at the thought of my mother playing hard to get ''What made her say yes?'' ''He had to do so much and it wasn't easy, she was never going to reveal what pleased her the most and that is what made your dear ole daddy work harder'' We both turned to look at the road finally arriving to my new home.
It's really, really pretty. The trees made their way around the sides of the house making the view much more enchanting and beautiful. Quickly, I got out of the car and ran towards the welcoming home. ''You live here?! Dad lived here?!'' He closed his side of the car locking it behind him then approaching me slowly from the side both his hands being tucked in his front pockets ''Born and raised for generations'' The wooden steps creaked a bit but it wasn't loud enough. The front porch was astonishing overall relaxing to just sit back and listen to the nature around me ''Your parents cared for this home for years before they got married while your nana and I took care of the garden, leaving the rest of the home to them'' I watched him unlock the door with a large red key that was seemingly to be covered in bright gold stars but not the stickers. We entered the home steadily, kicking off our shoes by the door after. My eyes shifted around taking in every detail that they could see; Stairs to the smallest furnishing. The curtains by the window stairs were pink and covered in light decorative flowers- trailing all the way down to the tip of the curtain. He had two large navy blue sofa couches that appeared more as reclining chairs than regular couches, they also have cup handles. My socks rubbed against the carpet ''Whoa..'' It was soft like fur ''This place is so cool'' He chimed from the kitchen ''And new!'' Yeah, new indeed.
Frames of family shots filled the home. There were pictures of my dad when he did sports and won science projects. The frames in the hallway were photos of My grandfather, nana, my dad and.. two other possible boys ''Who are they?'' I asked. My grandfather was holding two glasses of fruit punch when he analyzed the pointed picture; His entire complexion becoming pale as snow. My lips quivered in regret ''I uh-''
''Those were my adopted boys'' He whispered setting down the drinks and picking up the wooden frame from the wall. Behind the frame was the wallpaper. It was cowboys on horses and women dancing with soldier men. It was pretty: red and sunset orange. He then walked to the living room taking a seat on the nearest couch when he started to speak on the two boys ''They were so young and so full of life. Jeffrey, the middle child was so fearless and brave it made me the proudest dad alive!'' his southern accent kicked in more ''He looked up to your father so much because he thought your father was all he had as a role model but he never knew that Liu admired every move he made and every choice he took. Now, Liu was my teddy bear'' My papaw used his index finger to caress the face of the small boy in the photo ''He was your nana's pride and joy- they both were but Liu was as innocent as can be, Jeffrey was the same before those sick bastard kids pushed him over the edge and it costed him his life..'' Right when I was going to ask him what happened or where was Liu, it was like he read my mind. He rubbed his forehead in distress or maybe in hurt:
''Liu took blame for the fight that happened with the bullies, Jeffrey carried a knife with him always, he never left home without it and one mornin those kids came up to my boys to start trouble. Liu tried to stop his big brother from committing a heinous crime but Jeffrey.. Jeffrey had enough of their horseshit and gave them what he thought they deserved''
''He stabbed them?'' I asked hesitantly.
''Multiple times but he only stabbed one boy and that was Randy. Randy tormented Jeffrey and Liu for ho ha's but he also never knew what Jeffrey was capable of. Soon after, the cops came and arrested Jeffrey at our doorstep. Liu didn't want his brother going away for being a hero to him so he pulled the knife out from his hoodie, which was Jeffrey's hoodie and claimed he did the stabbing. Months went by after that and unfortunately Jeffrey pissed the wrong people off and was tied to a tree.. tortured and left to die.. Officers found him the next morning covered in blood and stab wounds''
''Where is... Liu?'' Papaw rubbed the frame when he would grip at the edges, sighing heavily. There was so many questions I wanted to ask: Why didn't my dad talk about them? Why didn't my mom ever bring them up? Why my dad wasn't around when this happened? I knew if I were to ask any of those questions I would be stepping over lines I should never cross. My grandfather slowly sat up from the couch with his eyes being closed and his hands wrapped around the picture frame ''Liu is unfortunately still serving his time in the state prison where he will spend the next seven years'' My eyes teared up at his sorrowed expression he began to carry around his face. They would follow him back to where the frame was originally hanging ''Your father always blamed himself for the incident between his brothers because he believed if he never left, Jeffrey wouldn't have done what he did and Liu wouldn't have been sent away''
My mom told Jessie my dad acted out, out of no where. The affairs plus the drinking. She had no idea what went wrong or what could have led up to it- She always figured it was because she got pregnant and he found her less attractive but I think I finally understand. He said ''When he was first with your mama he didn't care about anything else including college or stress that could come with marriage. He just wanted her and only her but as soon as that poor man found out his two little brothers ruined their lives before eventually one losing his... He changed instantly'' ''Is that why you guys stopped talking?'' I assumed in question. He nodded quietly ''He told me out of anger I should have been a better father to all three of them so that is why he pins it all on me'' He was wrong, my grandfather had no blame for what happened to well- my uncles. I can tell by the look on his face he still felt guilty and now that he lost another child he must be feeling more bad about himself as a parent but he shouldn't, he doesn't deserve those thoughts. I decided not to go further with my curiosity with what happened so instead I turned on the living room television and The lone ranger was playing:
''Did you have to humiliate me before the governor?'' The blond curled hair woman asked in a delicate tone ''Go to bed'' Her husband replied after taking a smoke from his cigar ''I know how bitter you are about me, how disappointed- but why can't we try to make the best of it?''
Papaw turned off the hallway light when he would approach me from behind my rocking couch and lean by my ear ''Time for bed, kiddo'' Bed time? It is only nine though-
I turned my head to only see him standing by the staircase smiling at me, waiting for me to get up and follow. He then nudged his head up at the stairs, I sighed and shut off the tv ''I'm going, I'm going..'' When I went under his arm he ruffled up my hair and caressed it slowly before letting go with his fingers grazing my scalp down to the back of my lower neck ''Get some sleep okay? It's been a long day'' Papaw led me to a door that carried multiple dents with a knob that could rarely twist ''This is your new room'' One hard push with his arm and he opened it perfectly ''This used to be Liu' s room''
My eyes scanned around seeing the walls a painted sunflower yellow with snow-white clouds printed on them as a design; It was scratched in some parts of the wall but it wasn't so bad ''I like it'' He nodded smirking at me, moving to the side to grab some blankets that were flat out on a wooden chair beside the small twin bed beside it ''Liu was into star wars?'' I asked picking up the blanket that is originally on the bed ''He must have loved Darth Vader a lot huh?'' Papaw nodded rubbing his shirt from the edges. I got into bed with just my jeans and hoodie on- Papaw kissing me goodnight on my head before eventually walking out my door.
It feels weird sleeping in someone else's bedroom, especially knowing they're in jail so innocently. My hands trembled suddenly and my heart rate began to increase by seconds ''Fuck..'' I whispered to myself. I can't be too loud since I don't want to already be a bother to papaw. Why wouldn't dad tell me about Liu and Jeff? Especially mom since they seemed so close all together- I don't know, maybe I should just get some sleep.
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I woke up the next morning with my heart feeling heavy and my breathing almost leaving me lifeless by the way I couldn't control it. When I jolted up I glanced around the bedroom trying to comprehend what just happened to me; Mom and dad were in my dream. We were all happy and smiling Jessie was laughing with dad and I was baking with mom. But before I knew it there was this loud chaotic rumble and things turned red and mom and dad were positioned together on the ground, just like when I found them. ''Are you awake, Abby?'' Papaw opened the door slightly when he revealed himself at the edge of the room door ''I was wondering if you wanted to go out for breakfast?'' I stood still for a moment before I gathered my strength to nod and smile ''Yeah'' I said ''Sure'' My voice cracked when I spoke again and I can feel the tears begin to form on my face with my sobs now increasing, papaw pouting. He made his way in to hold me close and comfort me.
''I saw them again'' I began to rant ''Dad- Mom! I- I didn't know what to do I was frozen, I couldn't do anything, they were already-'' each time I glanced up I captured his eyes they were locked on mine and they seem to be.. knowing the feeling I'm going through. Papaw rubbed my back before kissing my forehead and giving me the most gentle loving smile he could ''Hey, I can't say it's gonna be okay because it's not. Your parents were not perfect and we know most people in this world are not- Take a look outside your window'' He helped me up from the bed still holding me by arm as he guided me to the front yard window ''What are the chances that the people you see out here are handling the darkest demons?'' I sighed lowering my head ''A lot?'' He nodded grasping my left arm tightly ''You are correct, Abby. But, My point here is to tell you that you aren't alone when it comes to what they put you through and when it comes to a huge loss like this, your parents did love you, ever since they were your age all they talked about was having a family and settling in to a beautiful home''
''Then why did they fuck it all up?'' I moved away from him turning my face away as I clench my fists feeling myself about to scream ''Why did they stop showing it? They left Jessie to take care of me! My mom was never the mom you talked about! Okay? My mother filled up her nose with all sorts of drugs while my dad drank any alcohol beverage he can find then went on to beat my mother! He never even talked about you to me or Jessie but here you are knowing my location and trying to help me!''
My eyes could no longer hold the tears I was holding in the entire time I shouted. Sobs escaped from my lips, my hands finding their way to my hair as I try to gather the courage to make myself stop looking weak. Trying to forget the shit I had to endure living in that home but not forgetting the love my mother once showed me ''I forget sometimes that my mom once read me bedtime stories and that she once gave a shit about my existence but that all changed again when she forgot who she was and who she was living for!'' He had no words to help with the emotions that were now spiraling now out of control from within me; The sadness and agony I had to endure from the point it happened. He took a step back from me but watched and listened to every word I had to say ''Dad stopped playing with us! He invested his time into beating mom and drinking his life away! So I don't understand, I don't understand why would they bother calling me and saying such bullshit lies when they could have said it A LONG TIME AGO WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST!!!''
The rain outside started to fall harder and all you can hear was the water hitting against the window sill outside. My knees came to touch the ground suddenly and my palms were now caressing the wooden texture of the floor ''Abigail I-'' He cut himself short. He knew he couldn't say anything at this moment. I mean, I should feel so guilty since he technically lost all three of his sons but here I am making it seem like I'm the only one with the biggest loss issue ''Nothing I can say right now will help you feel better but.. what I can say is that.. being here, being my granddaughter- I will help you find your place in where you want to be in life'' I opened my mouth to apologize but before I could my eyes took notice of a tear shedding down from his cheek as it made its way to his collar ''I never could have pleased your daddy but with the two boys I had left.. I sure did my best but somehow, I lost Jeffrey to the wild and my Liu was taken in with chains and misery''
''Can't you visit him? I'm sure we can-''
''No'' He stated flatly.
''My son Liu is very mentally unstable now and every visitation I tried to do.. He always brings Sully up''
''Who is Sully?'' I sat up moving myself closer to him, curiosity eating at me now.
''He explains to me Sully tries to take over him- Sully supposedly wants to control him and wants to commit the most dangerous heinous crimes you could imagine, the things Liu wouldn't do''
''But- I-'' My heart was feeling uneasy like a feeling where I knew something wasn't right. Squeezing hard on my pajama pants I began to think over what papaw was saying. Didn't he say Liu was in Jail for a crime he didn't commit? Maybe Liu was trying to say something in code- I don't know for certain.
''Liu has grown too much since the incident with his brother and has over grown the sensitive emotions he once had'' Opening the door to leave he didn't bother making anymore eye contact with me ''It's like nothing matters to that boy, just the man he calls Sully''
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It was 6pm and Papaw was gone doing groceries so he left me in charge of the home. I wanted to call Sam and Mandy since they must be worried sick about me- They must be wondering if I'm doing alright. Even if they did ask me that I wouldn't know what else to do but lie making them believe I was happy and feeling better; Just a river of lies spurring from my mouth. I checked outside the window time to time to only see rain covering the glass while the water made puddles in our front yard ''At least the plants are getting some fresh water'' I shut the curtain sighing to myself ''Is there anything to do around here?'' Papaw had his television and bookshelf but I was more into technology and the internet that came with it ''Got ya!'' When I made my way passed papaw's office that was not far from the living room, the door was unlocked and he had a modern computer set up but it was more 80's than the ones we have now in my century. I approached it hesitantly pushing the chair behind me before I took a steady step to sitting down and begin my entertainment:
Password:
Hint: Beautiful flower
''You have got to be kidding me-'' I groaned annoyed slamming my hand down on the desk. The first thing I did was type in my nana's name- ''Incorrect password'' What?! I was left confused but nevertheless I typed in my mother's name, then my dad's and then his other two son's. No match! to either one!
Is he into flowers? What flower would he-
''What're you doing?''
