Chapter 1
My eyes were lightly closed as I listened to the pleasing sound of classical music echoing throughout the ballroom. Silver white ribbons stretching from the edge of the hallβs ceiling to its center where a huge, mesmerizing chandelier was hung low, so that people could be enchanted by its perfectly carved diamond crystals. Its ambient light shone over the people underneath, dressed elegantly for tonightβs event. Men in their charming tuxedos and women in their fancy gowns.
I walked around the crowd, fascinated by the exquisite aura they put out accompanied by the ballβs lavish atmosphere.
A tall glass of sparkling rose wine was held firmly in between my fingers as I carefully swirled and sniffed in its subtle aroma. Itβs quite a shame that I canβt take a sip of this red drink since Iβm not in a position to do so. A short sigh left my lips as I continued walking around the crowd while balancing a round tray of wine glasses on my left hand.
βEnjoy your drink, sir. Enjoy your drink, miss. Enjoy your drink, maβam.β I repeated the same words as I handed out the drinks to a group of elite guests.
After serving them, I moved away while staring blankly at the last glass of wine on my tray. Albeit having myself surrounded by hundreds of people, the only words Iβm allowed to say were βenjoy your drinkβ.
I then shifted my focus onto my uniform. It doesnβt look that bad, but itβll be great if I could put on a simple dress. At that moment, a funny thought slipped its way through my head; if only I have the money and status, I wouldβve rented a floating spaceship and wore a dress worth a thousand grand for the ball. I pursed a thin smile on my lips on that illogical thought. Glancing anxiously around the ball, I hoped no one noticed my bitterness. Suddenly, I felt someone approaching me from behind.
βDidnβt you hear me calling you?β A stern voice crept behind me as his hand swiftly grabbed the last glass of wine on my tray before I could hand it to him myself. I quickly hugged the empty tray and hung my head low, showing my respect to the guest. My eyes stared down at his long legs, wrapped in navy blue slacks and a pair of fancy black dress shoes.
βForgive me for the bad service, sir. Allow me to make up for it.β I instantly apologized.
Silent.
As if he was thinking, he paused for a while. I could feel him lowering down his head as he peeked down my face. Then, I heard a low hum coming out from his mouth.
βIβll be glad if you do so.β He answered with a familiar voice.
I replied with a quick nod and slowly lifted my head, however my body tensed when I saw a faint view of his face. I lowered my gaze, avoiding from further looking at his face. I shook my head lightly as an awful thought passed through my mind.
No, it canβt be him. Itβs been 5 years. How can that be possible?
A fiery sensation started to fill up my chest. I hope I was mistaken, but the thought that it might really be him sent a shiver down my spine. My breathing became more and more unsteady as I lifted my face up.
Oddly, in this huge crowd of people, where they were busy pleasing and entertaining each other, I wonder how can it possibly be so discreet to my ears? Not even a faint of sound can be heard.
When our eyes met, I can sense my pupils shaking along with a throbbing pain in my chest. As if Iβm strangled by my own wrath, it became harder for me to breath. All those sickening memories that I thought I had long forgotten, somehow came flooding back into my mind like an overflowing stream.
With my own two eyes, I witnessed a piece of pain standing bluntly before me with a smirk on his face. All I ever felt for him was hatred and disgust. It angers me to death. The fact that heβs so healthy and alive made me feel like heβs smashing my insides and tearing my heart out, only to have it thrown onto the ground and crushed underneath his feet. Oh, how I wish I could run to the toilet and throw up.
I gave him a murderous glare.
We just stood there facing one another, not uttering a single word. I gritted my teeth hard. I wanted to curse at him, I wanted to shout at him, I wanted to expose all the ugly things he had done and all the sins he had committed. I want the whole universe to despise him as much as I did. I want everyone to know that his existence alone is none other than just pure torment. Unfortunately, I canβt bring myself to say any of it.
This silentness of mine is the loudest form of rage I could give him. So loud that even words canβt describe how much I loathed him to the point where I hope the ground beneath him could swallow him whole and drag him down to the depth of hell. Ceasing him from existing into this world ever again.
I slowly moved backwards, careful not to stumble in front of him. I was quite glad that my legs didnβt give out despite having my whole body shaking with rage. I gulped down a huge lump in my throat. My hands were aching to strangle him dead, but I need to control myself, because if I were to attack him right now, hundreds of eyes will be witnessing an unsightly scene. Itβll also be bad for me because realistically speaking, who wouldβve wanted to side with a low-life like me? I also need to keep this job as itβs my last piece of hope to survive in this harsh world.
I scoffed, thinking about my pitiful self. If itβs not for him, I wouldnβt have lived like this. Because of him I lived my whole life underneath a shed of hopelessness. Trying so hard to survive each and passing day. Forcing myself to keep on living, although I wished a huge truck would hit me dead someday. No matter how hard I tried, there seemed to be no way out of this cruel life of mine.
He had thrown me deep down, into the innermost hellhole that I couldnβt even bear for only God knows how tormenting it is.
Given the current situation, I have no choice but to retreat. I quickly turned around and left him without looking back.
As I walked away, I tugged out my uniform hoping I could loosen up a little. I pursed my lips hard trying to stop my tears from bursting out as I roughly pushed my hair back. Itβs difficult for me to accept the fact that he saw me in my most pathetic state. Iβm not even a guest in that lavish ball, but just a mere waitress serving the guests. It felt like I just lost to a scum like him.
I clenched my fist, angry at myself for looking so pitiful when heβs all high and mighty before me.
As I reached the toilet, I quickly ran to the sink and threw up, vomiting all the filth I felt for him. Iβve been holding myself for too long that my throat can hardly swallow.
My body suddenly felt so numb. I leaned weakly against the wall and slowly sled down onto the floor. A heavy sigh left my lips as I stared blankly at the ceiling above.
I can still feel the tears brimming at the edge of my eyes. I bit my lips as hard as I could hoping it would make me forget how to cry. I took in a deep breath, but my chest just hurts even more. The wound was too deep I can hardly breath properly.
The person who robbed everything from me and left me with nothing...
Who wouldβve thought he would appear once again in front of me after five years? Have I been resting for too long? I thought I had run away far enough to not come across him again. I thought I could finally have some peace of mind, but where did it all go wrong? I hit the back of my head against the wall. My whole life had become a pain in the ass, and itβs all his fault. I hate that guy, and I swear I will keep on hating him my entire life.
This...
I clutched my chest, pressing against it as I felt it stinging.
...it hurts like hell.
I punched my chest hard, hoping it would make me feel better. Even for a while.
The things he did to me...
I gritted my teeth while holding in my breathe.
...shattered me into deadly pieces.
I let out a heavy breath as teardrops rolled down my cheeks.
An angry growl left my lips. These tears werenβt supposed to come out, but I canβt seem to control the tears from bursting. Itβs torturing my insides that I thought I could die from the pain alone. I cried as loud as I can. What did I even do to suffer this kind of punishment?
I didnβt care about the people passing by. Let them see me like this. Let them think I lost my mind. Just let it be. I donβt give a damn about anything as long as I can ease away the pain thatβs swallowing my insides. This soul of mine was torn a long time ago, and itβs tearing up again, again and again.
He destroyed me.
He made me like this.
Most of all, he took away my happiness, and left me to bear this shitty life alone...
