It twas a dark and stormy night, just like any other night in Painesville, Tennessee. The lashing rain was of no notice to Derek Shaw as he made his way to work that fateful night. It was not uncommon for strange things to happen to the people of Painesville, and Derek was no exception. However tonight would prove to be especially odd.
Derek wound his way down the lane to house number 48B Bleaker Street. It was an unassuming house with slouching windows, rough looking porch, and an incredibly yellow door. The driveway was long and cracked, with a number of weeds growing through. He parked his old pink Pontiac between the dandelions, and walked through the pouring rain and across the creaking porch to that horrifically yellow door and casually pulled it open.
The interior however, was anything but casual. The room was in a constant state of moving. It looked like a massive, moving collage of every popular pattern and color scheme from the 90's was thrust into the room and given a mind of it's own. Derek stood at the threshold and gazed at the nauseating living collage in front of him.
A flash of lightning revealed the ugly inner workings of the 90's collage disaster. In stark blue light, blood and flesh and bone shone through with a viscous glory. The sight was soon replaced with the funky fresh 90's decor as a roll of thunder shook the house. This mirage before him had only appeared once before, when he first came to see the house, and now it was once again rearing its ugly head. He had discovered last time that there was nothing to fear from this first room however, and he entered the home as normal.
His shoes squelched on the entrance hall carpet. Walking through the entrance way gave the same sensory experience as taking both MDMA and LSD with a dash of Ecstasy while at a club in the mid 1990's. Towards the middle of the entrance way, he came to a terribly red door with a thousand yellow circles painted upon it. Opening the door brought him to a heavily wallpapered kitchen. Roses greeted him everywhere he looked, and in the corner sat what could only be described as a mostly decomposed elderly woman.
After much anguished moaning she asked if he would like a roast turkey, Derek declined and asked if she would let him instead have cherry custard. At this she screamed at him. Now Derek had learned after many nights of coming to the house, that after she screamed, he was free to walk the rest of the house with little issue.
He parted ways with the old hag and went to the last room of the house. He had never been able to open the door before. He opens the awfully turquoise door and inside finds a disturbingly empty room, save for the giant shadow creature in the corner by the ceiling. It seemed to either be encased in slimy black webbing or it was simply made of stringy materials. It made little difference to Derek, his only job was to remove the darn thing. It took almost an hour of scraping and screaming protective spells, but the poor thing was finally freed from its corner and allowed to exit the house through a narrow window. It would perhaps cause grave chaos to the city of Painesville, but nothing it hadn't faced before.