THE BUCKET LIST

I left my bed as the first morning Ray's felt on my eyes peeping through the old and torn curtain. Making my way to the window I inhaled the air which smelt like fresh daisy.

Good Morning to myself.

I yawned and looked at the empty pale wall.

The wall had been white since ages and the plaster has started to fall apart.

I took a quick look around my room which smelt like old rust and was completely messy for which I have been scolded by Mrs.Georgea third time this week.

But nothing seems to bother me at all.

I looked at myself in the broken mirror of my room.

I am wearing a pale grey sweatshirt which ended around my knees.

I look quite healthy with the pimples and dark circles below my eyes.

But I am gonna simply ignore all of it as always.

I shighed as I brushed my teeth thinking deeply about my short life which may ultimately end in few years.

I am a thyroid cancer patient. My life changed a lot after that so called thyroid cancer. At the age of 16 I had the disease but for an orphan like me nothing bothers at all.

I have nothing to do, nothing to achieve, I dont dream like other girls here because I dont have that much time in my hand to have dreams.

A sudden thought striked my mind that it is my birthday.

Though it is not my real birthday but it was the day I was found by the Sunshine Orphanage by a road side.

It is not my real birthday but why not to pretend that I really turned 18.

Happy 18th Birthday Lavender.

I am quite fond of my name, I dont even know who kept me this name and why. May be they had a reason or just randomly gave me this name whatever who cares.

I still wonder how you look mom. Do I have your eyes or dad's. Are you even alive or is dad alive. Are you both together or not. What could have been the reason for you to live me like that. Were you forced or you never wanted me.

A lump formed in my throat as I held my tears back.

Taking a deep breath I took the glass of water and gulped down my daily medicine which might end in few days.

I don't have enough money to buy the medicines again.

I should ask to Mrs.Georgia I hope she gives me the money.

Moving down the corridor keeping my head low through the crowd of girls.

Some gossiping,fighting or bitching around...

We moved towards the canteen where food is served which tastes like rotten and old.

But we had to have it no other option for us.

Taking few bites and dawdling over the left overs I moved towards Mrs.Georgia.

A old lady in her early 70's sitting in a wheel chair with a straight face and freckles..

I cleared my throat to grab her attention.

She gave me a sharp look through her round glasses.

Getting a bit disappointed from my attire she mumbled something about my dress and a short lecture on how should I keep my room clean.

I hesitantly asked her for the money which she gave me in one go for the first time maybe.

I left from there not before getting a advice from her that I should not loose my money which I only did once.

I grabbed my bag from one corner of my room..

I removed the dust from it... had some important papers in it and my story book.

I left for my free Cancer counciling at the cancer center...

I can say it is a 12 minutes walk from the place I live but the scorching heat in Arizona makes it a little tough to walk all the way there.