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Very Compelling Plot!
"Summer, I really enjoyed your plot to this story and thought that you did a great job introducing an element of suspense to the end of each chapter; it made me want to go on and read more! I actually think that your grammar is pretty good for your age, but I do have a couple of learning suggestions for the future. Firstly, sometimes you use "your" (which is possessive, as in "I like your shirt!") in place of "you're" (which is a conjunction of "you are," as in "You're so cool!"). Secondly, there are some places in the story where apostrophes should be added for correct meaning, such as the sentence "One thought came to both of the friends minds" (in Chapter 5 the migration). In this case, it should actually be "friends' minds" (possessive with an apostrophe after the "s") because the minds belong to the friends and there is more than one friend. These suggestions aside, I think you did a great job of varying your language, using words like "exclaimed" and "replied" instead of just saying "said" all the time for quotes. I also thought you used some great description, like when you were describing the chocolate chip cookies. I can't wait to read more of your stories!"
- Valoración general
- Trama
- Estilo de escritura
- Gramática y puntuación
