Following my heart
Once upon a time, I had loved living in London. I had seen myself as forever a London girl and planned out my whole life there, intent on changing the environment and making the city more green. It had always been my home.
But it was not anymore. I had taken a trip to Mexico as part of my university's study abroad programme. At first, I was terrified. You hear stories of Mexico and the horrible treatment of foreigners and women there. I expected to be mugged and eventually, trafficked but I went anyway, vaguely hopeful.
While the city I stayed in was visually different from London, it was also fairly similar in other ways. The buildings were more of an orange brick and lacked the large glass windows of London but the noise was something I was more than used to and the abundance of cultural food was something I was lucky to have grown up with.
I think it was these similarities that made it so hard to leave. When I had returned back to London, I had promised Luis that I would find a way back to him but I was not hopeful. I knew that more than likely, I would never see him again.
My first week back in London was one of the worst experiences of my life. Despite trying my best to live like I did in Mexico, I couldn't. The world seemed dull and lifeless, like it had no purpose.
It only got worse from there.
I started experiencing manic episodes after a month. They were almost every week, some lasting more than an hour and more than a few, almost killed me. It was three months after I left, when a manic episode brought me to my fifth floor window ledge. Unable to contain my own mind, in the monotony of the town, I felt like jumping was all I had left.
It was at the moment where my hands almost let go that I saw the answer. It was a sunset. In Mexico, I had spent hours upon hours sat watching the sunset, normally on the beach with Luis. I knew it was a sign, someone higher up telling me to go back.
I knew I was no longer a London girl but a Mexican one instead.
When I landed, I went straight to Luis' house, so excited to be able to tell him I was moving to Mexico. I had never actually been inside the house but I had met him there a few times. My nerves built up higher and higher as we rounded the corner onto his street and as we pulled up, I couldn't stop the smile on my face.
I had not smiled in the three months I was home.
I may have knocked too excitedly but I didn't care. It wasn't until a woman, with a small child on her hip, answered the door that I froze.
"What do you want?" she said, "It's the middle of the night and I'm trying to put my kids to sleep."
"I'm looking for my boyfriend, Luis?"
The woman seemed as confused as I was but soon, her confusion turned to rage. She put the child down and ushered them towards another room, before rolling up her sleeves and beginning to shout in a much more complex Spanish than I could understand.
When she returned, she was pulling Luis behind her from his ear and his face had a large red mark from where she had seemingly hit him.
"This Luis? Is this who you were seeing?" I just nodded, noticing the clear signs of a woman who may kill someone at any moment.
"This Luis is my no good husband. He is 37 and has two kids. Whatever he told you, is a lie. I would run, because he now is a no good lying cheat, in fact, a homeless no good lying cheat." With that, she chucked him forward, narrowly missing chucking him straight into me. He fell on the floor and attempted to get back into the house but before he could, she slammed the door, clearly done.
Luis turned to me. His face now read the same level of anger that his wife had and I knew this was bad. I was lucky to be able to travel light and made as quick a getaway as I could, running back down the street.
I could hear his footsteps behind me and the sound of his voice making threats I only partially understood. I ran through the town centre and saw no one who could help. I ran through some alleyways, but still, there was no one.
It wasn't until I was almost out of breath, that I saw someone. A man, stood in the alleyway. He was dressed in an all black suit and looking down into the open dumpster. As I approached, he looked up and reached for his hip, presumably thinking me a threat.
"Please," I begged, using every ounce of Spanish I could remember, "I'm being chased, please help me." The man removed his hand from his waist and beckoned me forward. I was so happy to have someone to help me, that I didn't care if he was also dangerous. The man pinned me against the wall next to the dumpster and covered my body with his. He leaned his head down so our lips were only mere inches apart.
I could feel his breath on my cheek.
I could finally see his eyes and they seemed to be staring through my soul.
"Kiss me, if he sees us, he'll keep running." Despite how apprehensive I was, I could hear Luis getting really close and I was desperate to escape him, even if it meant kissing this stranger.
The kiss was powerful and caused me to let go of my bag and wrap my hands around his neck. As Luis came into the alleyway where we were, he stopped, calling out to the man who was hiding me.
"Have you seen a girl?" He said. The man kept his body against mine and I could feel every inch of him, down to his hardening member against my stomach.
"She went that way." He shouted, pointing in the complete opposite direction. Luis ran and I could just see the back of him as the man continued to cover me. It wasn't until it was completely silent that he stepped back and smiled, taking a long look at me.
"You should be more careful, princess. There are bad people in this town. If you ever need someone to help you hide again, come and find me at Ruiz tower. Tell them Hades wants to see you"
