Chapter 1
I nodded my head in agreement and smiled slightly. As the train trudged onward, I stared out the window. The sun's warmth fell upon the window so gently. White-tipped mountains sat peacefully in the distance, and fields of yellow-green grass peacefully swayed alongside flowers. I had heard that the buildings in New York had reached the heights of mountains and that the city was filled with bright lights. I couldn’t help but feel a tension of excitement bubbling within me. There would be so many new people, different from the small boring town I grew up in. After that day, I would be in such a new place, surrounded by the newest wonders of America, and have so many opportunities to get a good bearing in the world, to meet others.
“There’s one more thing,” he murmured doubtfully.
After a long pause, I chuckled a bit, “Would you like to postpone it for a few days?” I inquired jokingly.
His ears turned red, smiling with dismay. “Oh, no, that’s not it. I just—” he scratched his head. “Why, I wondered — why, you aren’t courting anyone, are you?”
With such a distracting question, I turned back to look at the scenery, “Not at all, no.” I had waited so long for this journey. Everything I did in my life built up to this. I was going to become great… important even.
His voice went on with more assurance. “I was under the impression you didn’t,” his assurance disappeared, “if you’ll pardon me — you see, I-”
Oh! New York! To say I was going to New — his silence pulled me from my thoughts and his words had finally rendered in my mind. At that moment my foolish brain finally realized the meaning behind his words. He loved me. No wonder he had said he’d accompany me on my ride- even to go so far as to help pay for my ticket and help me pack my things. How was I so blind? I felt it hard to breathe. I felt confused. I glanced over at him - he was painfully staring at his fingers, picking the dirt from beneath his nails. His shoulders were hunched over and tense. His large overcoat made him seem less of a man and more a boy.
He glanced back up at me, but I promptly stared back out at the passing landscape. I hadn’t enough time to think. Five minutes wasn’t nearly enough time to break someone’s heart and put it back together. I felt the tension rising in that railway car. I pressed my nails into my palms, digging… hoping for an answer to be found. The train entered a tunnel. Darkness meet my eyes and I turned back to him, holding my breath.
I smiled, trying not to reveal my worry. I knew I hadn’t hidden it well… his face showed it.
He sunk further into his overcoat. “Well that’s good,” He mustered a smile. “Such a young lady as yourself should be finding her way… on her own… and all. And with your new studies and acquaintances, you won’t have time for such nonsense.” He scratched his head again.
A silence that tore at my soul consumed the inside of the railway car. The train's wheels gradually rolled more slowly over the tracks till the squeal of the breaks pulled me back in my seat.
I grabbed my bags. What was I supposed to say? My frantic gaze caught his. "Will I-"
He shook his head and stood. And with a sorrowful smile, he stood there, gazing into my eyes. “I hope the rest of your journey goes well…” his voice crumpled a bit, “farewell Addie….”
