A Work in Progress

"The book cover and the summary are engaging, but I'm not sure if this story is finished (its status appears as "complete", but it only contains the first chapter of a story that, by all indication, continues). The prose is careful and tidy, but unfortunately the mood of mystery, intrigue, and expectation that the genre demands is not achieved. One reason for this is that the characters are barely sketched. We learn there's a boy, but we're never told how old he is, or what he looks like, or his mood, where he comes from, his expectations, etc. Therefore, we can't develop a connection with him or with the story. The same goes for the house (which should be also treated as a character in itself). A very useful writing advise is : "show, don't tell". If you rewrite this chapter with this advice in mind, you can make justice to your story, since your main idea sounds very promising. Good luck!"