What is your opinion?
Great plot and worldbuilding, but has some flaws in the writing
"Plot and Characters The story begins full speed with vivid descriptions, in which the heroine, Tepes, is in a trouble. It's sure to grab one's attention from the start. The plot may sound simple: organizing a rebellion against Exsul's dictatorship, but the presentation is great. You're shown how the Netheryard looks like, how Exsul's dictatorship, Exsul City's security system, and the law system - the Eye of Adjudicator - work, and how the heroes organize a strategy to stop Exsul. The pacing is excellent and there is the occasional humor to break away from the tension, which make it an enjoyable read. The humor is effective, and it usually stems from the argument between Tepes and Clare. Tepes is your usual snarky badass, but she is far from OP. A great, refreshing sight to behold, actually. Also, although Tepes is rather cold and cynical outside, she can, rarely, show her soft side. The scene with the children at the Netheryard shows that, and it becomes a great character establishing moment for Tepes. Other characters may not have so much development yet, but I'm sure that the next volume will focus on that. When the first volume ends, it has opened up a lot of plot threads and raised up some questions. I'm especially curious about the Scarlet Queen and how Ryan and co. end up at an underground city like the Netheryard. It makes me curious about what will be happening next. Writing For starters, the description is fantastic. Very immersive I must say, and the metaphors work very well in adding to the imagery. You can easily see the environment and hear whatever is there, to the point at times, you'll feel like you're inside the world itself. The choreography of the action scenes, too, is well-described. One of the greatest example is how the author shows that Tepes, our character, is an android. It is eventually stated that she's an android, but before that, the author has described how different she is from a human through the damage she sustains: flaring wires, churning gears, etc. However, the writing is not without its flaws. Aside from typos and grammatical errors at some places, the author uses a lot of adverbs, especially in the dialogue tags. Things become pretty redundant due to the adverbs, because often, the dialogue itself already manages to convey the characters' emotions. Although the action scenes have great choreography, they are often bogged down by long sentences, missing commas, and occasional passive voice. The author tends to use stringy sentences and split infinitives ("cause to", "start to", etc) in the action scenes and shove too much description in a sentence, which only results in confusion and flow disruption. Overall, this is a fine action/scifi LN. Although the writing has some flaws, the plot presentation and the vivid descriptions are sure to make the flaws forgettable."
A Magnificent Prologue
"[WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS] I’m a fan of light novels, so after I have given a chance to read this story, I guessed it’s worth a shot. I don’t want to take this long. The Immortality Protocol is a story written in a light novel format, in which the narrator or the mc serves as the first person of the story.Though sci-fi is not really my genre, the flow of the story never failed to convince me throughout the end.The personality of the characters are consistent, the comments or remarks of the mc on her monologue corresponds with her character, which makes it realistic. The plot (in the first volume so far) was simple, yet I know that it’s just the prologue. Volume 1 only tackles about the conflict and the introduction of several characters, how they will take over their freedom against Exsul’s dictatorship.The strategies or plans of the characters on each situation were realistic and convincing. There’s no miracle like “Willpower can solve anything”, which I like.Overall, a great plot. On the next volume, I’m expecting more development, like the story behind how Ryan and the company were placed deep down. Who knows, perhaps they really did something wrong? :D. As well as development on the MC’s main arc. The foreshadowing that I’ve gained so far was about the dove, Scarlet Queen, and Exsul himself :D"
