The Loud House

Apple cheesecake,how delicious it is,my mouth started watering as a result of a beautiful apple cheesecake sitting beautifully on a plate,I wanted to devour it immediately.

My eyes flew open immediately as I realized I had just been poured an heavy pail of water,"Argh what the fuck I screamed as I jumped out of the bed looking for the nearest weapon to destroy that motherfucker who had stopped me from having that delicious taste of apple cheesecake in my mouth.

I picked up my lampstand and was about to smash it on his head, he quickly dodged but I couldn't care less,I gotta bring this motherfucker down,he ran out of the room as I ran after him in hot pursuit. Once again in my annoying life I hated the fact that I was a bad runner as I couldn't catch up to him as he alighted the stairs quickly and fled into the dinning room where the rest of the family were already seated giving me weird glances.

Kiera,why the hell are you holding a lampstand? My mom asked

Why the hell would I be holding a lampstand order than to smash this demon's head who was already grinning from ear to ear.

And why are you wet. The sharpest mouth, Natalie asked.

Ask the useless the useless motherfucker who is sitting at the dinning table and had decided to ruin my sweet dreams of apple cheesecake. I said sending dangerous glares at the evil demon.

Don't tell me you were seriously dreaming of apple cheesecake. Brooklyn said while giggling.

"Whatever" I said rolling my eyes as I took a sit next to Brooklyn.

Good morning Mom. I said realizing I hadn't said a proper morning greeting to the world best mom.

Morning Kiera. She said with a smile.

Let me introduce myself I am Kiera Woods and sixteen years ago world best mom gave birth to an amazing daughter,no we were two who came out of one woman's womb sixteen years ago. Up until now I still get annoyed whenever I realize the fact that I shared a womb with the psycho sitting across the table with an annoying smirk formed on his lip.

I sometimes wish I could had been the only kid my mom had given birth to maybe then I would had lived happily ever after and wouldn't constantly have to argue with demons. Brooklyn Woods is my eldest sister,she is a twenty year old baby girl and a sophomore in college. Pierdo Woods my annoying twin that ended up sharing a womb with me,still can't believe I shared a womb with that pathetic dumbass. Then Kiera Woods that's me the most beautiful,talented,sweetest among all my siblings,at least I thought. Alvin Woods a thirteen years old quirky teenager and finally the cry baby of the house, Natalie Woods an eighth year old who got a loud mouth but still got the childish behavior attached.

Yep! I said in excitement as I saw the mouth watering dessert of apple cheesecake just what I needed after been woken up in a terrible manner by my annoying twin.

Mom what the hell! you know how much I hate apple cheesecake,why make that for dessert? Pierdo said condemning my favorite food in the whole world,that was super annoying,I can't tolerate this block headed nigga anymore.

Oh Pierdo stop acting like a kid and act mature for once,you should at least appreciate mom who had woken up in the morning and had gone into the kitchen to prepare breakfast,while you sleep your head off. I said stuffing some Apple cheesecake into my mouth.

Yeah guys so I am off to work, Brooklyn take care of the kids and you all be responsible. Bye my mom said as she stood up from her seat and walked into the living room, lifting her bag from one of the sofa as she walked elegantly out of the house.

I couldn't help but admire her slim built structure and her slender legs,mom was an elegant woman no doubt,I watched as her hair which was made in a ponytail bounced along with her.

Kids I want you to stay off the living room,I would be expecting my boyfriend,you know the name James. Brooklyn announced from the dinning table with eyes fixated on her phone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I watched with discontent as the two love birds were sitting on my favorite sofa clearly eating each other out. I hated the fact that the jerk ass blonde was making out with my sister on my favorite sofa. I scoffed in annoyance as I watched the both of them get all Lovey-dovey. Don't get me wrong I am not a jealous sister but I just hate it.

I gotta get this motherfucker out of my house before it get polluted,I puked at the sight of them making out,Ew go get a room. I muttered to myself. This guy gotta leave and for that I will have to do what I always do. I let out an evil grin as I prepared to storm that place.

Woah sis what are you up to,that grin,it's evil,Kiera are you planning evil. Pierdo commented. I looked at him head to toe and the first thing I noticed was that he held a glass of milkshakes on his hand leaving my mouth watering for some. I love the taste of food in my mouth.

Focus Kiera Focus you got a mission to accomplish.

You know what? Take the fucking milkshakes out of my sight I cursed between my breath.

Woah! Chill I am out of here. Pierdo said as he dashed out of my sight.

Now for my mission I took a deep breath as I walked my way into the living room.

Hey Mr James Brown. I said feigning excitement as I flipped my air, waving cutely, battling my eyelashes and at the same time not forgetting to let out that cute smile. I walked elegantly into the living room as I took my seat on one of the couch still smiling.

Hey Kiera,how are you. James said in a polite tone,damn his politeness I hate this dude.

Kiera what the fuck are you doing here? Brooklyn asked as she gave me a pleading look to evacuate the room probably so she can get the chance to make out with the dumb motherfucker. I am not gonna let that happen.

No Brooklyn I don't think I am moving an inch out of here. I quickly protested as I grabbed the remote control tunning in to my favorite show.

You know what baby let's just go to my room. Brooklyn said holding James's hands as she made an attempt to leave the sitting room together with James.

No Brooklyn! Uhmmm James,hi good to see you,you wanna know about your girlfriend, totally I am her sister and now can be be a great opportunity to form a sister in law bond with you, that's if you end up with my sister. I said nervously as I rolled my eyes erratically seeing his eyes lit up and lips forming into a smile.

Oh Kiera I get it. James said as he nodded.

James you shouldn't go into Brooklyn room,you might find some dog poop on the bed. I said as I rubbed my palms together,with an evil smirk forming on my lips.

Kiera how is that possible? James asked doubtfully

You might also find used pads and tampons littered on the floor,I added which was a lie,I was only trying to embarrass my sister in front of her boyfriend and then he had break up with her, perfect scheming.

Kiera have you suddenly lost it. Brooklyn asked as she sent me death glares. If looks were to kill I would probably be sent to an early grave.

James, Brooklyn drools when she sleeps. I said excitedly as this will surely do the trick of sending him away from my house.

Kiera that's weird,drooling while sleeping is normal for some humans and it's really cute, Brooklyn's only a human. James said not bothered about what I just told him. I felt like killing him as I saw a smile formed on my sister's lips.

Brooklyn holds a stuffed animal when she sleeps,it's stupid how a girl of her age would hold that to go to sleep,these days women of her ages uses vibrators to put them to sleep,a good orgasm before bed would make your sleep last longer. I said with a wink.

Sweet Jesus! Kiera don't motherfuckin tell me that you got a vibrator. Brooklyn yelled,I could feel the whole house vibrating from her screams thankfully enough the house is soundproofed.

Kiera you don't need a vibrator to put you to sleep,that's masturbation and masturbation is a sin. James preached like he was some sort of saints,these days the problem with some believers is that they fail to practice what they preach. Mr James advising me sure doesn't practises what he preaches.

Geez these weirdos got wild thought,I wasn't actually saying I use vibrators I was only saying ladies of Brooklyn's age uses a vibrator to put them to sleep and not a stuffed toy and here I am been misinterpreted.

Look who is calling a kettle black, fornication is also a sin darling. I said defending my act of unholiness.

Fornication? What are you talking about? Brooklyn asked with a confused expression on her face.

Oh you clearly forgot that not too long ago you both were eating each other out,go get a priest to get you married first before you do shit. I said with a look of disgust on my face.

We were only making out,we are In love with each other at least it is better than your act of masturbating. Brooklyn defended. Shit how many times do I have to tell this motherfuckers that I don't masturbate,I don't give my time to sexual shit.

Miss holiest of holies,I must really commend your holistic sin of fornication,you seem to have forgotten that no sin is better than the other,it's all sins, masturbating and fornication are sexual immoralities and you are all gonna burn and rot in hell. I said lowering my eyes and pointing at them alternatively.

Spare me that shit we are adults,we are only humans,got the right to do whatever we wanna do. Brooklyn defended her unholy act yet again,as a matter of fact I found it quite amusing that Brooklyn was defending her sin which needs no explanation,she should explain that to God and not to me.

Stop defending your unholy act Brooklyn, back to what I was saying. Brooklyn got a huge boil right in her ass when she was fourteen,she eats like a buffalo,she does disgusting stuff like poking her nose right after a meal,she also scratches her butt and her bed is usually in a pool of blood whenever,you know the girls stuff, she farts whenever she laughs like a psycho and it smells like decayed food. I mentioned a list of embarrassing habits of Brooklyn to him clearly anticipating the moment he screams, to hella with you Brooklyn,this relationship is over,you are disgusting. I smiled as I saw the scared looks on Brooklyn's face. Don't call me an evil sister yet.

I looked over at James who was giving me weird glances and I was totally annoyed by it. Just say you hate my sister you dumb motherfucker and bang the door right behind you.

Kiera are you sure you are okay,that's something most humans do,what's wrong with it and that pull of blood stuff you are clearly exaggerating and Kiera I sincerely love your sister and I accept her despite some flaws and imperfection same way she had accepted me. James said clearly cutting me off guard,what's wrong with this idiot is it so hard to break up with my sister. I hate this.

Enough! I hate this! say you hate my sister you motherfuckin dumb ass and get the fuck out of my house, Break up with my sister motherfucker. I yelled in frustration as I stormed out of the living room. I did hear James say "Baby you got a weirdo living in your house" and I hated the sound of that seriously that freaks thinks I am a weirdo

Yeah that's how she is Kiera is crazy. Brooklyn said as they laughed it off.

I can hear you. I screamed turning back to see the both of them giggling.

Great just what I got after trying to send that motherfucker out of my house,I had definitely no other choice than leave the sitting room because this guy is a smartass. Me been a smartass have been turned immediately into a dumbass in a matter of seconds,how great my life was,at least note my sarcasm. I hate my life motherfuckers