Da Vela Diaries

Dear diarie this week episode after a long time and on the last day of the month of love, is entitled

How Juju boy seduced Isha with a guava true story

Now we all know feb is the month of love but this year was extra special 50 shades of grey was released uncle took 1 of his dragons to watch it and there were more ova 50 year old aunties in the cinema than anything else I guess these aunties are old but not cold heh, uncle mc'd aunty mumsy's 50 bday in shallcross there was so much love there and thanks to eishkom we all have been having more candle lit dinners this month good thing I got the formalities klaar before the lights vyed off, the generator kicked in but typical charou's 9boy forgot to buy da petrol.

Now back to my lead protagonist Juju boy Asherville legend and my neighbour for jaarers now juju was a normal o his 1st vrou decent stekkie from the otherside she used to use big 50c dot and kungu on her hair but she got tired of juju boy and she korshard him, now juju boy was on the prowl he was soeking a something for the new year jan klaar and we were approaching feb valentines day now to give you an idea of juju boy hit rate before he met his 1st vrou his idea of a date was to take the stekkie walking from bottom of dahlia rd all the way to indian delights to buy her 1 cup tea and R5 potatoe budja no wonder the vrou left him . I don't know wots worse Monsieur snowball and milk trick or juju boys Badja and tea special.

Now juju boy wasn't the sharpest krayon in the krayola box but he tried, his spelling left much to be desired and sometimes I was thinking it was better for him to use sign language to tell the stekkie what he felt .

But juju boy is the epitome of why we should never give up on life , for all the times the stekkies threw his marigolds away or let their dogs loose on him or told him to footsak.....for 1 shimmering moment he became the Don Juan of Roslyn avenue I will never forget that valentines morning was many moon ago before juju boy had a receding hairline he was parking on the road waiting for his next victim when this stekkie isha walks passed, juju boy stops her and for once she is entertaining her conversation , Eish juju boy is unfamiliar territory he got no roses or chocolates to give the stekkie so what does he do he does the unthinkable quick thinking and on his feet standing outside uncle madans guava tree he jumps up and plucks 1 ripe yellow guava for Aisha, Aisha smiles takes a big bite the succulent pink flesh goes to her brain and she blushes at juju boy who scores a home run 2 months later juju boy was married to Aisha, unfortunately they did not live happily ever after cause Aisha told juju boy she was a brain surgeon clearly she was more like a brain patient and king George special brain patient unit was closed so juju boy had to let her go, she was actually more mental than him

So the next time you don't have anything to give your valentine think of juju boy and how he sealed the deal with a guava maybe you can look left and come right with a peach, nectarine or plum till the next episode...... writing here…