Fallen Grace

“She needs to transfer to a new school; a fresh start.”

The doctor’s word tore through her chest. She sat in a chair next to her mother, the hem of her blouse in her hand.

“Grace?”

Looking up, Grace made eye contact with her doctor, “Yes?”

The doctor passed some papers over to her, dropping a black pen on the top, “I need you to sign these so I can speak with your new school; I’m going to put some accommodations in place for when you arrive next Monday.”

Grace sighed heavily, slumping in her chair.

“Do you think this will help her? What about all her friends-”

"Friend, Mom.” She corrected her Mother.

Her Mom sighed, shooting a quick glare at her daughter, before continuing.

“Her friend. Is this necessary? I’m worried about her missing so much schoolwork, Ms. Heather.” Grace’s Mother stressed.

“Joyce,” Heather, the doctor, began, “Your daughter has had three suicide attempts in the last two months. Have you bothered to ask yourself why this might be happening?”

Grace’s Mother looked taken aback by her doctor’s abrasive words.

Joyce, her Mother, spat, “I know my daughter-”

“Clearly you don’t,” Heather spoke under her breath, turning to Grace, “I’ll see you next week at our next session, correct?”

Grace nodded, thanking her therapist silently.

“Great! Bye-Bye now!” Heather glanced at Joyce for a second as the Mother-daughter duo left the therapist’s office.

On the way out of the therapy building, Grace snuck a piece of candy from the bowl next to the exit.

Stepping outside, Grace was met by a strong gust of wind, almost knocking the air out of her lungs. The leaves on the ground crunched underneath her boots. She hugged her jacket closer to her body, trying to stop the heat from escaping.

The walk to the car was a short, but quiet one. As soon as the two got into the vehicle, Grace was bombarded by her Mother’s unproductive rants.

“What’s going to happen between Emily and you, Grace? Are you willing to let that relationship go? I don’t think Ms. Heather knows what’s going on-”

“Mom?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Please stop talking,” Grace growled, shooting a glare at her mother.

Joyce sighed, turning up the radio so the silence was filled.

That evening, as Grace and her family, sat around the dinner table, a small voice was heard at the end of the table.

“Is Grace going away again, dad?” Josh, Grace’s younger brother, asked.

Grace put her fork down, pushing her chair back, “I’m going to go shower. Thank you for dinner, Mom.”

“Grace-” Her Mother went to stop her but was held back by Grace’s Father.

“Just let her go.” Her father whispered as Grace walked off.

The family sat in silence for the rest of their dinner.

As she went to her room to get pajamas, Grace felt her chest begin to tighten. Grace picked out a set of pajamas and went into the bathroom at the end of the upstairs hallway.

She glanced at the pictures along the hallway, most of them being of her family. Grace was in a few of them, but not many. Most of her childhood was spent in and out of psychiatric units, the same for the start of her teenage years.

Stepping into the bathroom, Grace shut the door behind her, and finally let her emotions take control. She began to sob as she slid down the bathroom door, taking a seat on the tiled floor.

What did I do to cause this? Grace wondered, throwing her clothes at the bathtub; they landed with a soft thud.

After a quick cry, Grace stood and undressed to begin showering. She turned on the water, shooting a glance at the body she saw in the mirror. The edges of the mirror had begun to fog up at the edges.

Grace took a deep breath as she put herself in front of the mirror. She skimmed over the imperfections; the scars on her arms and legs, the freckles scattered across her body, the birthmarks. With a sigh, Grace got into the shower and began to wash herself off.

Her shower was brief, just enough to feel clean again after a long day. Grace had gotten dressed and was getting ready to go to bed when her father called for her to come downstairs. She did so reluctantly.

“Yeah?” Grace mumbled, dragging herself into the kitchen.

Grace’s father was standing at the front of their breakfast nook, motioning for her to sit across from him, “Go ahead, kiddo.”

She took her seat at the breakfast nook, her heart pounding.

“Mom told me about the school stuff. Are you okay with changing schools? I don’t wanna hear this from mom or your doctor. I want to hear it from you.” Her father’s voice was low and soft, unlike his usual tone.

With a sigh, Grace replied, “I don’t care, Dad; at the end of the day, I’m still going to be where I am now. I’m sorry.”

“I think a change of scenery could be good for you, Gracey. I know it won’t fix what’s going, but maybe a fresh start could be a good thing.” Grace’s father walked over to her side, pulling her into his embrace.

“Go get some sleep, okay?” He whispered, kissing the top of his daughter’s head.

Grace nodded, pulling away from him with a soft smile on her face. The two said their “goodnights,” and Grace went up to her room.

Her father was still standing in the kitchen, a tear falling down his cheek.

He hadn’t seen his daughter’s smile in so long.