My Carpet of the Rainbow

"Being an Indian myself (and a Bengali at that) I can say that you’ve managed to accurately portray the behaviour and customs unique to India. I like how amidst the love and joy there’s a darkness that creeps into Lucie’s mind every time she sees her father interacting with Shiela Aunty. The storyline is great and I like the direction it’s heading in. However, you may want to ease up on the euphemisms a bit. A few of them are great, especially the one where you’ve compared a person’s gambling addiction to the ‘hole’ in his piggy bank. But I feel like the story is overridden with euphemisms, making it a hard read. A reader will have to decipher the meaning of each euphemism in order to continue the story. My suggestion would be to leave a few euphemisms in there and narrate the rest of the novel as simply as possible. The story stirs up the soul on its own, and you don't need euphemisms to heighten the drama. All in all, I’d say this is a powerful story that needs to be written in simpler language."