Chapter One: The Prologue

Dear Diary..

Hi my name is Joey. I am about 24 years old and I am unemployed and living with my parents. Everything has been a total mess and stressful for me for a while. It's just the fact.. I've been crying daily and not able to wake up without a thought in my head telling me that my day will go horrible even when I try to make it positive. Fighting doesn't help, nothing does. My body was weak even when it tried to stay strong, my eyes were heavy from always being tired, even when I sleep good at night. It doesn't matter, everything hurts me mentally and emotionally. Everything seems so dark, so shadowy, so echoey that the voices that speak to me.. talk to me, a voice I rather not hear. Telling me things and so mad that it frightens me sadder each second. But why me? Every last bit of drop of my tears I can feel it on my skin. Every moment, every second, every minute, it talks to me, everyday. Not a day goes by it's still there.

How longer can I fight this for?

Am I even worthy enough to be on this earth? What did I do wrong?

Maybe they are right, I am insane and crazy and stupid and worthless. Does even my parents care? Does anyone? Why do I feel so shut down for? My heart is racing and beating, the echoey pulse, I can feel it in my mind and heart, the sound of it beating pulsing dragging and irritating me. The ringing in my ears bother me every once and a while, my mouth is dry and my eyes are watery.

Life is nothing.

It's meaningless.

But my boyfriend says wrong, that I do have a meaning, that I do deserve to be alive. Is that true?

Maybe I should die.. and never turn back..

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