His Letter
“You never did anything wrong, so please don’t feel guilty about it. It was never your fault about how he acted, nor was it mines. But I always somehow feel
responsible
for not stopping it. I let him treat you like that, even though I was able to stop it a few times, he still knew a way to beat around the bush. Do you remember that day when I tried to kill us both? Do you think it would’ve worked? I think so, but I also think that he would’ve resorted on taking emotions out on your sister, and neither of us want that to happen now do we? I let my own little brother run away from home, and sell himself into prostitution because he was sick of the life he had at home, what kind of person does that? Was it because I didn’t care? Or was it because I jealous? I never spoke about the abuse, I never spoke about the videos, I knew that the way we were being treated was wrong, but I never told anyone. I could’ve stopped the abuse, yet I didn’t. I decided to let fear take over, and silence what could’ve been stopped. Even though, it was making me unhappy, that kind of life was much better than being in a relationship with him. That’s honestly really sad, isn’t it? You know…I had a younger sister, but she died when she was a baby. I killed her,
we
killed her. That man was going to sell her, so we had to stop it before it was too late. I cut the water on, and he held her down under the water, since she was a baby still she died easily. That was the first and last time I ever killed someone. I think that can explain the reason I was so clingy around you, you had this ‘childhood innocence’ that she has as well. You used to make me remember her, as I pictured her as you, this sweet innocent child, that society hasn’t poisoned yet. I wasn’t going to let someone take it away from you, so I had to protect you the best way I could. The videos…they’re at that old house, there in this little cardboard box in the basement on a shelf underneath the stairs. They’re the ‘raw copies’ all together, the videos should equal about 12 hours of footage. Burn them please. It’s no use of giving them to the police, or the FBI. That mans dead, and so is she. They can’t be charged for producing nor selling. Cat had a chance, he took it, and won. I had a chance, but I never took it, and obviously lost. That’s what makes Cat better than me, he doesn’t chose to ignore his trauma, he acknowledges it’s existence, and is able to cope and heal. I’ve tried to heal, but all it’s gotten me was partially deaf in one ear. Y’know, I remember when we were younger, and I showed you how to ride a bike because your brother wouldn’t. You were so happy to be riding down the street, back and forth, and so was I. We were able to make a happy situation out of something miserable. It may have filled him with hate, but that doesn’t matter, I took the blows for you, but you still got it much worse. He couldn’t tear me down, not more than what’s been done. Some wounds are meant to be broken, some should be left unhealed, and that’s kinda what my life was. A bunch of unhealed wounds, that were never fixed. He may have apologized about it eventually, but what did that matter? You knew not to accept that apology because you were fed up, and I don’t blame you….You, should never have to apologize for
being you
. Because you Candy…are the one I love….”
Tears began to wet the paper, Candy began to uncontrollably start to cry. He fell backwards, lying on his side as he clenched the letter in his hand.
Oldy sat down next to him, patting his back. “What did it say?” He asked.
“That none of it was my fault, and that he loved me.”
