Sunday Blues...
Sunday....
Sunday is usually my least favourite day of the week, obviously because it's the last day of the weekend and i am forced to get 'organised' for the next learning week, but also because I am forced to spend time with my parents and future in laws. Every. Single. Week. So, usually I hate Sundays, but not right now. Right now, there were hands running through my hair and soft lips kissing me urgently. Kissing me like their life depended on it. A quiet, almost imperceptible gasp left my lips as I looked at my best friend, confusion and happiness a tangle of emotions in my brain as her hand travelled slowly up my thigh.
"Please me tell me you want this."
Maggies strangely distorted voice whispered as she kissed me again,
"Oh Violet I love you so much... I can't do this any more. I don't want to hide, i just want to be with you!"
I sighed contentedly a small moan escaping my lips. Maybe Maggie was my soulmate, maybe Maggie was the one? Maybe Maggie and I should run away together? Maybe we should keep kissing, after all this moment was perfect! No more secretly pining for my best friend, no more wishing she loved me back, no more wishing i had a different life than the one I was born into. I smiled as she said my name over and over, until strangely it began getting louder and louder....
"Violet! Violet! For fuck sake I said, wake up!"
I jumped up in surprise, suddenly wide awake, brought back to reality with a bump, my grey cotton sheets tangled around my legs as i tumbled out of bed and hit the floor with a loud 'thud'. Confusion washed over me as I realised i had been dreaming about my best friend, Again. My 'perfect Sunday' was just the usual shitty day i detested. I turned quickly to look in the general direction of the voice dripping with disdain and the remnants of my dream quickly disappeared. The look of fury on my fiances face, was evident for everyone to see, his dark blue eyes cold and sharp jaw tensed. I stared at him in silence for a few seconds, a cacophony of insults and swear words on the tip of my tongue. I took a steadying breath before standing up,
"Geez Sam, you didn't need to shout like that!" I grumbled instead, rubbing my eyes.
After all, I guess it wasn't his fault I was dreaming those kinds of dreams! I glanced at the clock, nine AM, shit.
"Well, maybe if you woke up the first time I called you I wouldn't have to shout. Now get up or we're going to be late. I don't want to have to tell you again, don't piss me off. Not today, Okay?"
I stared at his retreating back and cringed inwardly. My fiance was many things, unfortunately patient was not one of them. I dragged myself out of bed and scuttled to the shower. Standing under the hot water i slowly ran my hands over my body, trying to imagine someone else's. I was peaceful, happily attempting to get lost in my imagination, until a loud bang on the shower door startled me,
"Hurry the fuck up Vi, i won't ask again. Get washed and get out, I've laid a dress out for you so you can get dressed. Now."
Closing my eyes in frustration, I did as I was told. Samuel could be difficult and impatient, but he was a good man really, sometimes and I loved him, sort of, well... My parents adored him in every way that i should. Unfortunately and unbeknown to my family, i didn't love Sam the way i was supposed to, not in the way you should love a fiance, not even close. I am however, beginning to think I am in love with my best friend Maggie, hence the dreams, that were becoming more and more frequent. I think I love Maggie in the way i suppose i should love Sam, but also in a way that makes me feel downright miserable some days. Maggie, unfortunately, loves someone else, the lovely Isla, they have been together for a while now, they seem happy I guess. Happy enough to be rooming together at uni anyway. She also has absolutely no idea how I feel, to her i am good old Violet, her confidante and best friend. And I am engaged. To Sam. My life is panning out exactly how my parents want it to. They are ecstatic at their choice of husband for me, did i forget to mention that ours is an arranged marriage? Yup. Apparently arranged the day we met for the first time at a charity gala aged 12 and 15 respectively. Our parents had been friends for years but Sam and I had not. My mother claims to be religious, that's why she decided we needed an arranged marriage apparently. It was nothing at all to do with the fact that Sam was one of the sons of another wealthy family. Who also only attended church when they too felt the need to be reminded how to be Christians.Now we had been together for a year and engaged for four months. But it wasn't the money, of course not. Oh no, my mother would never do that to me. Ha!
I love my parents, I do, but they are not the easiest of parents to have. They're arrogant and stuck up and always trying to control every aspect of my life. It got so bad with my sister that she left home at 16 to live with our grandma Lorna. If you met my Grandma and mother at the same time you would never guess they were related. Gran is without a doubt one of my favourite people and she is usually the first person i go to with a problem. She may be seventy but that doesn't stop her from rocking purple hair and skinny jeans, much to the dismay of my mother and father! I also love my sister Ava, i miss her so much, but her relationship with our parents is practically non-existent. Since she refused to live by their 'old fashioned' views they refused to have much to do with her. Especially since one of their views was that her husband was not quite the right colour, nor did he have a 'desirable' occupation. They are missing out though, Jay is amazing! He is quite literally the big brother i never had, at 6'3 and built like a building, he is the gentlest giant i know and i love him as much as i love my big sister. Plus he's a fire fighter, undesirable occupation my arse!
I digress...
So, here i am at the ripe old age of 21, engaged to a man who acts like he genuinely can't stand the sight of me some days and living with a mother who still checks my phone when the mood strikes her. I honestly stay over at Sams when I'm not at uni just to hide away and not because I actually want to spend time with him, he is just the lesser of two evils!
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I'm stood staring at my reflection taking in my long brown hair and the black, capped sleeved midi dress Sam has picked out for me. It's a nice dress, it flatters my curves without being tight and it is definitely sophisticated, but it's a far cry from the jeans and converse i usually favour. I pull a brush through my hair and put on minimal make up, my family have seen me looking worse. Sam barged into the bedroom and eyed the hair tie on my wrist,
"Finally you're ready. Don't bother tying your hair up," he grimaced as he lifted my arm and pulled the hair tie off, "It will ruin the whole look, you can wear the shoes my mother bought you for Christmas. You look, umm nice. I'll be in the car, hurry up."
He kisses the back of my head awkwardly before he leaves and I let out the sigh i hadn't realised i was holding in and looked at my refection again. All this effort for a stupid brunch, i just want to crawl back into bed. Instead i take a breath and reach into the wardrobe to grab the black, chunky sandals, that Sams mother Mona had given me and i make my way down stairs. Sitting on the bottom step i slid my feet into the velvety sandals and jumped at the knock on the door.
"For fuck sake Sam I'm coming!" I shout as i yank the door open angrily.
My next sentence died on my lips when I saw Maggie standing there, her bright pillar box red hair blowing gently in the breeze and her bright blue eyes sparkling with humour,
"Nope, not Sam...Well i mean i know i can be a dick sometimes, but last i checked i hadn't actually grown one. Why so pissy?"
I didn't get to answer because just as Maggie finished speaking, Sam yelled from the car,
"I thought i told you to hurry up?? What the fu... Oh no. No! Maggie, go home we're going out!" He climbed out of the car and stormed over to us, "Vi, darling, we're going to be late and i know you'd hate to upset our parents, right? So, tell Maggie to leave and let's just go. Now Violet." His words spat through clenched teeth.
Maggie laughed without humour,
"Oh honey, I know you might be used to talking to our Vi like shit in your own time, but if you speak to her like that again in my presence, i will rip your dick off and staple it to your head. You know, just so people can see you for what you are. Now, i need to speak to my best friend for five minutes, go and wait in your car like a good boy!"
Sam , physically shaking with barely suppressed rage, turns to walk away as he growls,
"Fine, but Vi, i really don't want to be late."
I nod my head slowly as I turn to look at Maggie,
"Do you have to do that every time you see him? You're not making my life any easier Mags!"
Maggie laughed loudly,
"Oh come on! If he wasn't constantly talking to you like shit i wouldn't have to! You know how much i hate him and now he does too. I don't know what happened to him but he needs to sort his shit out!"
Maggie grabbed my hands a took a step back looking me up and down,
"You look hot, different but still hot, where are you going? Why wasn't I invited?"
I grinned a blush creeping up my face,
"It's Sunday?"
Recognition coloured her face,
"Oh of course the dreaded family time. Can we hang out later, just me and you? I feel like i haven't seen you in forever!"
I shrugged my shoulders, trying to act nonchalant,
"Sure, wanna meet at Laylas? Say four?"
Maggie smacks a wet kiss on my cheek and then she saunters back to her beat up VW. Giving Sam a little wave, she turns back to me and winking deliberately she yells,
"See you tonight sexy!"
I shake my head as i laugh lightly to myself and lock the door, making my way to the sleek BMW i feel rather than see Sams anger, the second i open the door he snaps,
"Does she have to be all over you like that? Everyone knows she's a massive lesbian, do you want them to think that you are too? Do you not think you should have defended me when she was speaking to me like absolute dog shit? Huh? Do you think i wanted to sit in this fucking car for hours while you too gabbed up a storm? Do you thi...."
I raise my hand silently cutting him off mid tirade,
" One, she gave me a kiss goodbye, she is like family to me so that is the end of that as far as i am concerned. Two, you're right she is a lesbian, but last i checked it isn't catching so stop being so pathetic, it doesn't suit you. Three, I could not give flying fart what your neighbours think of me, they want to think i'm a lesbian, let them. Four, She only spoke to you like that because she didn't like how you were speaking to me, she tells you this all the time so i don't know why you're surprised. Finally, you were in the car minutes, not hours and we didn't 'gab up a storm' we were making plans to hang out. So, since I am already dreading this thing and you have been rushing me all fucking morning, maybe now would the time to actually drive there, hmmm?"
Sam said nothing as he started the engine and pulled out into the street. After driving for fifteen or so minutes, he scoffs loudly, then,
"You know what? I'm sorry about this morning, i guess Maggie is just something we will have to agree to disagree about. I know that i've been snappy lately but I'm stressed out that's all, I'll try harder."
I mumble my thanks to Richard and scuttle away as he continues talking to Sam. As I step outside i look at the sky and take a deep breath. My mothers shrill voice sends a chill down my spine,
"Violet, yoohoo Violet. Over here darling, we've been waiting for you!"
I look over at my mum, a vision in a cream blazer and matching skirt waving at me erratically from her table. Plastering a smile on my face I make my over. My mother grabs me and kisses me loudly on each cheek as she physically places me in the seat next to her.
"Hi mum, dad." My father looks up from his newspaper, grunts an hello and continues on with his reading, "What are we eating today?"
My mum clasped her hands excitedly,
"They're having a brunch buffet! It's all coming out in about fifteen minutes. But never the mind the food, you need to be careful because Mona and i have some news!"
I flinch at the sound of Sams mothers name and take a sip of the Bellini that just magically appeared.
"Oh? And what might that be?"
My mother tutted,
"Tsk, we have to wait for your fiance before we say anything, don't be impatient."
I could have pointed out that she brought it up but instead i grab my glass and down the contents in one. As Sam pulls up a seat beside me another drink appears in front of me, i down that one too and turn to look at Sam as he leans in and kisses me quick on the lips.
"Aw you guys look happy!" My mother whispers, "Sam you look well!"
My mum flutters her eyelashes as a blush creeps up her neck. My mum is beautiful in an 'oh she looks great for a middle aged woman' way. She has chocolate coloured hair that always has a shine to it and bright green eyes that stand out from a mile away. Mona joins us and plants a kiss on Sams forehead before taking a seat beside her son,
"Did you tell them Elizabeth?"
My mum shook here head silently, I was about to down my fifth Bellini when i felt her pull it from my hand. I was scowling as she said,
"No Mona, i was waiting for you,"
"Right well then, i thought you two love birds might want to know that we have booked a date for your wedding day! Tadaa."
She squealed with girlish excitement and clapped her hands enthusiastically. Sam and I stared dumbfounded, he spoke quietly,
"What do you mean 'booked?'"
"I mean we have booked the Winchester Inn! Stacey called and said there'd been a cancellation and that she knew we loved it there and asked did we want it and we said yes! It's all paid for and they've agreed to sort out the food and decorations."Isn't it exciting?"
I grabbed another magic Bellini and took a gulp, exciting was not the word I'd use.
"Oh my god it's actually happening" I gasped in terror.
"Yes baby it finally is." My mother mistaking my terror for excitement whispered, her voice full of emotion.
I took another gulp as Mona said,
"We'd better get to work, it's only 4 months away!"
Bellini sprayed from my mouth and covered the entire table,
"Four months?"
Sam passed me a napkin, his face as white as a sheet, my mother tutted at me for the second time that day,
"Yep four months," Mona said, grinning ."Judging by what your father just told me it can't come quick enough." She sashayed away with a wink.
I turn to look at Sam and see the shock in his eyes,
"Four months Sam, four months."
Shaking his head slightly he took a deep breath and looked at me,
"I know, four months. It'll be here before we know it, i can't wait! Excuse me, I need to make a call."
Excusing himself from the table, he kissed me gently on the head and disappeared inside.
Four months, Four fucking months!! Grabbing and downing another Bellini i make my excuses and push away from the table as i pull my phone from my bag. My heart pounding as sweat begins to bead on my forehead, punching in a familiar number i wait for the ringing to stop,
"I need to get out of here please come get me."
Silence and then,
"You got it. Where are you?"
"Sams parents."
"I'll be there in twenty."
I made my way to the front gate just in time to see the battered VW pull up and I stuffed myself into the front seat. As soon as the car set off, i let the tears spill out.
