God

I’ve witnessed the world reset, I’ve been around, prolonged, and endured every apocalypse. I’ve seen many invasions, inevitable disasters beyond mankind’s control, vengeful varmints dominating the globe, along with, whether you believe it or not, humanity ending itself on its own circumstances. Although, I haven’t got the faintest idea the reason I’ve remained. Despite all of these doomed occurrences, I merely awaken accompanied by the memories, scarless of the previous world I resided in.

I’ve reset so frequently that I’m simply a stranger and off the radar. Not one can link me to an abiding bloodline, I’m apprised of this seeing that because previously I’ve been silenced, in other words killed, by allowing the people to obtain my identity which etched back to nothing.

Then I rise up in a world, or place where nothing of my former being exists, omitting the same society, and traditions, which are unavailing or in simple terms, useless. Ignorance truly is bliss, although, I haven’t always been one to brood, or look to be so pessimistic.

Back then, I’d undergo relief to share all my experiences with someone, notwithstanding if others perceive me as out of my head. Irregardless if said people don’t be attentive, they’ll eventually wither away in the tragedy their beloved God has left for them following his dissatisfaction. Or possibly, his boredom.

It’s seldom for my likeliness to rest, or even age, or love. Not that I’d wish to love any further.. I’ve seeked love several times, nothing ever compares to the first love, and even if another could correspond to it, it would not matter. For eventually they’ll become another reminiscence in which no one will ever know. Society doesn’t carry on or continue to progress after the previous has passed, it simply resets in the most random of years, painfully unpredictable.

I was full of gratitude for surviving the very first time a disaster had occurred, until it fell upon me that I had nothing alongside me, lurking among the rest of the transients, alone without my partner, my family, or any home that belonged to me. I’d drive myself mad, encountering individuals that appeared similarly to my previous encounters in the other worlds. Although, God can only get so creative with our faces right? Doppelgängers are bound to exist..Only if I can cross paths with a doppelgänger of my lost love.

As much as I yearn for their company again, as much as it would be serene and untroubling not to remember. I’ll never, ever regret making the decision to have met them back then, regardless if I hadn’t known I’d be bound to never see them again, it reminds me that everything is nevertheless real. Fools run around, trading true love for temporary excitements, although the love they discard are treasures the wisest of our species preach is beyond scarce to find, every lesson in every book, film, and poetry, it all revolves around love.. I know the truth, love is beyond any miniature desire, every life I’ve lived, there was another intoxicating beverage, another unhurried ticket to your demise in a pipe, enough fornication in the streets if you’ve had enough money to afford it, it always remains. Though, what you never get again, is the love and trust of a one of a kind individual, say as you please, that you can find a substance to make up for it, but there isn’t. It is true, living your small life to the fullest is ideal, though wouldn’t it be amazing..to live it alongside someone you can always go back to? This life of mine gets lonely, everything around me prevails, but nothing can replace my lover whom I’ve long lost.

I’ve quite precisely learned of true values, how no riches, no prominence, and nothing is worth it. Although these temporary people and temporary perspectives leave me with permanent knowledge. Perhaps it’s the new mindsets and view of the world that’ll help me grow out of this disarray. Once again, preaching about love and riches is impractical at this point.

There was a period when I used this as a chance to experience what I could. Writing my story down in a journal that always follows me. Believe me, I’d publish it, though this is a never ending book of mine. When my time is up, I ponder who the hands of this book will fall into. That’s if my time will ever end, I hope that all my struggles will eventually pay off, that someday this’ll all be in the past and I can see my loved ones once more.That all my endeavors will meet an equal success.

I’ve reached the many stages of grief, I’ve attempted to start all over, I’ve attempted self euthanasia, with my sorrows understanding not one loved me, and not one can live alongside the burden of my absence. I’ve tried it all..except, wondering why this is happening to me.

Well, why was it?..

Possibly there are others like me? Perhaps not.

Ah yes, I’ve figured it out.I’m simply a puppet, a character going through many vicissitudes until I’ve reached my full potential. Only if God knew and experienced the things he put me through. For what? For who’s entertainment? I had never asked to experience these ordeals, I know these traumas aren’t what my tale is about, I know my tale is how I’ll rise as who he intends for me after putting me through it all.

Nonsense. I’m just a character, in a story of a God in their own mind. The worlds i’ve been in are just the drafted thoughts of this God, i’m his main thought, he decides the story he puts me through, he doesn’t know it, but I remember every draft he’s put me through. To every god willing to put their creations through agony, remember. We are real, for all you know, you can be the characters in someone’s book as well. Why? Because, God is an author.