Chapter 1
‘I love you; I love you so much that I don’t even know how to function without you Aman’, she said.
‘But you have to move on I don’t think I will ever see you again’ he said
I felt my eyes prick and this is the only thing he has been saying since the time he confessed what is happening. He feels that I will never understand his situation. I might be childish but I do understand the situation we were in and I wanted to support him and be with him through his journey. He surely was getting on my nerves by repeating the same words every day when we spoke.
‘How many times do I have to say this? We will figure this out!!’, I said in frustration
‘Do not raise your voice on me Disha, just listen to what I say and stop being so adamant’, he said
‘I am not raising my voice I have had enough discussion on this and why don’t you let me in with whatever you are going through’, I signed
I get scared when he gets angry and I don’t even want to face the wrath of it. I had to give up on this discussion again because I know he will again be winning this argument.
If I look back I see how the tables have turned around between us. It took 10 years for me to say yes to him and he made all the plans. All I had to do was to agree to him. I always imagined him to be the douche and tried all my best to stay away from him and now I feel like I fell into the trap unable to get out of it. I did have feelings for him since the time he confessed his love for me but I really was scared of him.
Aman Mahajan was the bad boy; he had this dusky skin, handsome, soft hair styled and a beard that gave him the macho look. After completing college and starting his own business. I first time we met I wondered how did I say no to this guy. Every time we spoke we would end up fighting and not talking for months. I even lied to him I was in a relationship so he would not trouble me. But he would always come back with his charms but I would sincerely reject them.
And I Disha Iyer the good girl with long bouncy hair, highlighting her dusky skin with bright brown eyes and a cute little dimple. I am a person who doesn’t give attention to things happening around and somehow I had managed to capture the attention of Aman. We didn’t study together or lived in the same neighborhood however our connection still seems a mystery to me and he says he remembers everything that happened the day he first saw me.
We did neither meet face to face nor had a date and when bumped into each other it would freak me out. The day I would see him, felt like I was going to be buried down with all the daggers he was throwing at me while I was hooked to my friend as a shield. All I knew was he was the bad guy whom I do not want to get involved with. He was dangerous and I was not going to be his prey.
After being close to him even now he is so secretive and understanding him is the biggest challenge. There was a time when he would seek attention from me and now I want his attention but he ignores it. Falling in love with him has been the nicest thing that has happened in my life but now removing him from life is something I am not able to do. I might sound desperate but I want him as long as I can keep him. He is someone who made my dreams come true and shattered the dreams we made for ourselves.
Did I do a mistake of falling for the bad guy?
Was I just a part of prey to be used and left in between?
These are the few thoughts which is been killing me and I want answers but all I get now is ignorance. I have am lost in my thoughts with sleepless nights and never figuring out how my life turned this upside down.
He would talk endless on how our future would be and now all he talks about ending.
All I can say is he has ruined me with all the love you showered me with and now me dreadfully need it forever. I wish you nothing bad when you have left me alone to figure out my life.
How did I ever happen to fall for the bad guy from whom I was always running away from?
