Jadens surprise lover

She has her life to go to and me I am lonely not for sexual action but for friendship and support. Christmas is coming up in a few days time and I am going to spend my time alone. I have built my life with having more than people think as I inherited a large fortune from my British Grandmother. The stiff upper lip is just a saying as there is more to me than a good time.

I am prepared to give my lady all my support and help. The past few months have been especially difficult for me as I have have been battling with cancer and no one knows that. I have been given the all clear now and I am so happy about that. I want to celebrate my good fortune with someone and that person has to be a good loving lady.

I didn't tell anyone at work about my illness as I was going to battle it on my own but now that I won my battle I am excited about life again . You never know what you are about to lose until you've almost lost it all.

There is a very shy librarian I know who works at the public library that I have my eyes on but I always thought not now. With my illness over I thought to myself many times that I wanted to go and speak to her. Get to know her. Many times I sat at the hospital with the kemo sacks hanging on that things they put infront of you and I was confronted with what I wanted at that moment and the one thing I wanted the most was that little librarian to just come and sit by me. It's so strange when all you want sometimes is just simplicity and someone who loves you. I am not looking for a lot just to know that there is warm hands to hold me.

How do I go to her and start a conversation? How do I ask her when all I really want to say to her is can we be friends or more please? As many times I go to the library and just sit there pretending that she is actually coming to me when she walks down the isle and that it's me she's coming to talk to. Just the simple conversation with someone is so erotic sometimes, especially if the other person is blushing when you speak to them. I am hoping to get that warmth from her as I even started to dream about her.

'Ok anyone would think that I am a stalker but I am trying to get her to go on a date with me. It's so hard to just go over to her and speak my mind but I have to try.

That is why I am here again today I am hoping that I can have a moment to talk to her. I don't know what I will do if she says no. I know that I am going to chicken out again at the last moment... but the cold loneliness is getting to me and I am once again here. As I stand in the queue with my books I haven't read I must be a sight for saw eyes. I worry what will she think of me. What will she say when I ask. At last it's my turn and I am here and I am standing in front of her. She smiles at me and says "Is that all for today?." Here's my cue I have to ask her. I ask her "Do you have a husband or are you with someone?" That was the I wanted to sink into the ground now as her next words mean so much to me as it's my life hanging on a thread. I am so afraid that she will snub me. The most beautiful eyes look up at me , the blue eyes of an angle and she says "No, I am alone now my husband died last year." I have to get the courage to ask her as the customer behind me is getting very antsy and then I just ask her . " Will you please have lunch with me later , I could wait for you." I am now filled with so much fear that she will say no. Why is the rest of my life now in her hands??? What will she say I am so anxious to hear what she will say.....