The Girl I Used To Be

"Not happening" I say as the guy from my Spanish class approaches me to ask about meeting up for our project.

The guy, Jace, or maybe Pete, I don't really remember, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and just stands there like a freak for a good minute. "Look Scarlett, I need a good grade on this and we have to work together, so pull out whatever it is you have stuck up your-"

He doesn't finish due to me pouring the contents of my water bottle over his head. "I said it's not happening, so leave my presence before I call one of my friends over there." I point over to the group guys from the football team, standing a few lockers down.

His hands ball up and he opens his mouth to say something, but then decides against it. I smile "smart choice," I then turn to my locker, to retrieve the AP chemistry book I was trying to get before that jerk showed up. In that time, I guess he decided to leave since he's gone by the time I turn back.

Now I know I seem like a bitch, and you're probably thinking I'm your stereotypical mean girl, but I wasn't always like this. I'm not making it up, really! I used to be one of those bleeding hearts, volunteering for everything, back when high school first started. I had a best friend who I thought I would be friends with forever, and I was top of my class. Back then I was the kid getting picked on, I didn't have the right "look", I didn't have money to buy popularity with, I was shy and timid, and I was foolish enough to believe what people told me. Back then everyone knew me as Arora. After the accident I decided to stop going by my first name, I also had to learn that being mean, and not taking anything form anyone was the only way to get people to treat you with respect.

Past

"Rory, are you ready, you're going to be late," My mother yells up to me. Today's the first day of high school and I'm a little nervous. Technically if I had lived in any other town, I would just be starting the eighth grade, but my town houses eighth through tenth together, and eleventh and twelve have their own building. It doesn't really make since, but that doesn't matter to me, because I'm a high schooler now. What did matter though was I didn't really know what to wear, so I let my best friend Lizzy pick an outfit out for me yesterday when she was over for our annual "last night of summer" bonfire. Unfortunately, it rained so we made s'mores on the stove but it was still kind of fun. Lizzy had picked black skinny jeans and a flowy white top out for me to wear today. I wasn't sure if I liked the way I looked in it though, I've always been really self-cautious.

I decide that it's fine and finish tying my converse and run down the stairs, calling out "coming!"

My mom's waiting down at the bottom, she smiles and hands me the pop tart wrapped in a napkin, that she was holding. I like to think I get my looks from her, she's so beautiful, I might have my father's hair, but everything else is all her. From my light blue-grey eyes, to my button nose. My father tells me I look like her because he made a wish when she was pregnant with me that I would be as beautiful as her. She hugs me, "I can't believe that my baby is starting high school."

I laugh, "well now you'll have a new baby so it's not that bad," I lean down so that I'm level with her pregnant belly. "Hey little guy, I can't wait to see you soon." My parents found out shortly after they had me that they wouldn't be able to have more children, so the fact that my mother got pregnant with my little brother is a miracle, She's currently five months along.

I stand back up as we hear a knock at the door, "that must be Lizzy," I hug her again then I grab my back pack. "Bye mom, love you," I yell as I head out the door to a waiting Lizzy.

Lizzy is like my complete opposite, into fashion, overly confident, she always knows the right thing to say. She smiles when she sees me, "today's the day, we are officially high schoolers," she then twirls around "what do you think of my back to school outfit?"

She's wearing a light blue skirt and a nice white top, that has two openings on each sleeve. "You look great, now let's go before we're late to our first day.

Present

Back then things were easier, I was happier, it's hard to believe that was nearly two years ago. I smile, getting rid of any thoughts of my past and walk down the hall, entering my chem class. Erica Mabel is in this class, since her parents want her to be "on track" for college they make her take at least one AP class a year. I let her assume that I'm in this class for the same reason she is, because of parents. When in reality, I'm taking this class partially because it looks good on a college application, because College is the only way I'm going to get out of this town and never have to look back. The other reason I wanted to take this class, is to make up for how I totally almost wrecked my GPA freshman year. I basically had to fight my guidance councilor to convince them to let me take the class.

Since I go by my middle name now, and everyone basically forgot that I was ever Arora Fisher, in all honesty it makes me a little mad that they don't even remember me, but at the same time I don't want anyone too, because this way, Arora Fisher died with my parents and best friend that day in the car. I'm no longer the girl I used to be, I'm okay with being the school's resident mean girl, with being the popular Queen, and not giving people a second chance to question whether or not I belong here. I'm okay with being Scarlett, that just means I have to keep secrets, and that I can't let anyone get close enough to find out the truth.

Erica turns to me when I sit down, "so Tommy Prescott is throwing a party this weekend, you in, I think Danny said he would drive us there." Danny is Erica's older brother, he's a senior this year and wants to live out his glory days by hitting every party that he hears about. Last month he accidentally showed up at some little kids' birthday because he heard a guy talking about his brother's party.

I laugh, "you trust Danny to stay sober?" She can't see it, but in my mind the night of the crash is replaying on repeat. The sound of it, the panic, and the endless feeling of sadness at the realization that my family was gone.

She rolls her eyes, "I said he'd drive us there, we'd have to find another way home." Erica is probably one of the closes things I have to a real friend, but even she doesn't know anything about who I really am. She thinks I have parents. That my first name is Scarlett and that I don't have a middle name because my parents thought it would be "cool."

"Thanks, but I'll pass." I tell her as I pull my homework out of the book, I always finish in class so I just leave it in my book so that I don't lose it, and that way I only have to carry my book and a pencil to class.

"Come on, Scott Kain will be there, and you know I need your help when it comes to him, I always say the wrong thing." She sticks her bottom lip out in an attempt to convince me.

I sigh, "fine, I'll go, but only if you get us an Uber home." If I don't go with her, she'll probably get in the car with some drunk guy she thinks is cute. See I'm not that bad a person.

She smiles, "yes" she practically squeals. "We are going to have so much fun, and Jenna's going to be excited that you're coming with us."

"Jenna's going?" Erica doesn't know this, and neither does Jenna really, but I absolutely cannot stand being around her. Her Mother was the drunk driver that hit my parent's car. Sometimes I think Jenna acknowledges it, and other times I get the feeling that just like everyone else, she doesn't associate Scarlett Fisher with Arora Fisher.

She nods no longer paying attention to the conversation, too busy copying my answers since she always "forgets" to do her homework. "Hmm, oh yeah, did I forget to mention that?" She shakes her head as she looks back up at me. "Anyways, it doesn't matter, you love Jenna, so it's no big deal. Hey can I borrow your red top for the party?"

"Uh yeah, I guess, and I just think it would have been helpful if you had told me she was coming." I tell her, trying to figure out a way I can get out of it now.

"I don't see how, and why won't you tell me who the kid you're paying to do your homework is, I bet they could get me a good grade in my math class too." I had told her I was paying a smart kid from one of my classes last year to do my chemistry homework when she started to notice all the A's I was getting.

"I told you, he said that he only accepted a certain number of clients to reduce the chance of getting caught, but if a spot opens up, your next on the list." Look, I know what you're probably thinking, it's not uncool to be smart, but that's not the reason I don't want anyone to know. If people knew, then they might only want to be friends with me so that I could do their homework. Also being smart was Arora's thing, and I don't want to be anything like who I used to be.

She rolls her eyes, "alright" she sighs, just as our teacher walks in to begin class.

Past

Lizzy and me got to school early enough to put our new school supplies away and decorate our lockers before class started. Which is a surprise since I thought we were going to be late. We had two classes together, our first period and our last period. Lizzy says this is perfect, that way we start out the day with each other and end the day with each other. "Rory, I have a good feeling about this year, this is the year that we find love." She says over dramatically and with her hand over her heart.

I giggle, she has said this every first day since fourth grade. "Liz, you forget that we're only thirteen, and you still have braces."

She looks at me, dead serious "what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, my dad told me this story about a kid he knew, who was making out with a girl who had braces and you know that thing under your tongue that basically keeps it attached?" She nods, listening "well it got stuck on her braces and when they pulled apart it ripped and there was like blood everywhere and long story short the guy can pretty much lick his eyeball if he wanted." I tell her the rest while shrugging.

Her eyes widen, "why would you tell me that, my braces won't be taken off for at least two years!"

"Well, I just thought you should know" I tell her as we take our books out of our lockers, shutting them.

"And to believe I thought we were friends, only for it to be revealed that you were my enemy all along, and you succeeded in getting into my head. How could I have been so fullish." She continues to be over dramatic as usual.

I shake my head, laughing and accidentally causing my hair to fall in front of my eyes. I tuck the strand behind my ear, as I look up to tell Lizzy she's being ridiculous, but instead I make eye contact with a guy standing about ten feet away, he's got brown hair, and amazingly tan skin, he is literally the best-looking person I had ever seen. He smiles at me and waves, before turning and walking away. "Rory, Arora!"

I snap out of the trance it felt like I was just in and look back to Lizzy, "oh uh, sorry what?"

She rolls her eyes, "I said the Bell just rang, and then I called your name like a bunch of times but you were too busy undressing that hot guy with your eyes to pay attention."

My cheeks go red, and I lightly push her shoulder, "what! I was totally not. That so gross, why would you even think of something like that" I say quickly.

She rolls her eyes, "yeah sure, now let's go before we're late to our first class."