The Full Moons Kiss

Being a female working In an all-male editor's company is hard and quite tiring. You get yelled at, asked out, bossed around, and degraded. The only person that hasn’t treated me like that at the job was Ashton. He was nice and funny and we would go and get lunch together. Everyone at my job had asked me out except for Ashton and I found that kind of nice. It’s not that the people that ask me out aren’t nice It’s just that I never felt comfortable loving someone because of how I grew up.

When I was a teenager 14 to be exact I had to face the choice between my father and my mother. I loved both a lot and I wouldn’t want to choose between them but when I was 12 my mother found out she had terminal cancer and she has gotten sick over the years and she had to live in the hospital for treatment. When I was 12 years old my father and I got a call from the doctor saying that they couldn’t do anything else and cancer has spread. After that news, my father became addicted to drinking. Along with the drinking he also became angry and aggressive. With that aggression he also became suicidal and he had multiple attempts to kill himself. In the middle of my 9th-grade year, I found out my mother was very weak and only had 24 hours left to live. After school that day I went home to get some money to buy my mom some gifts before her last moments but of course, my father was drunk at the time and was about to hang himself. I stopped him and told him that the doctor called so I needed to go to the hospital but he got mad and yelled at me and when I walked away he chased me and slapped me then locked me in my room. He didn’t let me out of the room till the next morning where I got a message from the doctor telling me that she was gone and I needed to pick up her property. I cried for hours and days until I was strong enough to go to the hospital and pick up her belongings. I cried every day and I moved out. I never wanted to see my father again. If it weren’t for him I would have been there holding her hand before she passed. I grew up without either of my parents. I moved in with my best friend Lunar, she knew my situation and she managed to get her parents to allow me to stay without them knowing what happened.

when I had started my first semester in college I got news from my uncle that my father had passed away two days before my first day in the same hospital that my mother passed in. I traveled to my uncle’s house to comfort him and my aunt but as soon as I walked into the house there were so many pictures of him smiling. I figured being there would be for them but seeing him smile made me break. I had missed him. I hated him for so long but I loved him and I couldn’t help but cry ad feel mad at myself for not being there to stop him. His smile was beautiful and it was genuine and ... magical. I hadn’t seen it in a while... since my mom had... died. Despite how much I cried that day, despite the amazing things I had just said about him I hated that at his funeral they only talked about his perfect moments. No one but me had seen him at his worst and said something about me.

“My father was a drunk who didn’t know how to handle pain. He could have been an amazing father and husband to my mother if he hadn’t tried to replace her with drinking during her rough times. He was aggressive and rude and when his emotions got the best of him he was suicidal. Every one of us has seen him at his worst but everyone refuses to say anything bad about him because he passed away. You all expect each other to talk about perfection... but he wasn’t a perfect father or a perfect person he was the opposite at times and I will not refuse his flaws and now all of you know what his flaws were. So stop acting as if you guys didn’t see his bad along with his good and I’ll pretend I can remember some of the good and not all bad. Everyone here is in denial all of you are just blind. My mother died and I knew how long she had to live but this man that everyone is praising locked me in my room so I couldn’t see her and he let me out the moment he figured out she was gone. He expected me to take care of the mess downstairs that he made after what he did. I’m tired of living every day knowing I will never see my mom again and that my father lived a horrible life and none of you are accepting that life is hard and that I endured that while he ran away from it”.

That’s what I said at his funeral. Yes, people were very shocked because they knew me as this quiet girl who had feelings but now they know me as a bad person who talked shit at her father’s funeral. As a punishment, my uncle FORCED me to work at his editing company after making me feel bad about what I said. I finished college, and I bought a house with a beautiful sky view and it’s huge. It’s only 20 minutes from the office. I could easily just get up and walk or skate. During all of those hectic life issues, I gained a love for writing I wrote about what I wanted in future relationships and turned them into books. I stuck with the romance field and maybe added a little mystery here and then. As I grew up my love for writing became a profession and has progressed over the years. I grew a passion for writing as well, I wanted to be an author but would you look at me now I work at a book editing and publishing company.