Chapter one
Here goes again, what should I do to stop crying?? Should I wipe my eyes with sandpaper to harden them??
I can't hold it anymore. I ran home to stay with the man I thought Will change my name from hate to love. How i wish I could just stay alone in abandonness .
I have nowhere to go.
I don't feel that love a human deserves. Is it because I love so much, and no one is there to love me back?? Or am I cursed to love , what kind of a fate am I into??
Why does he keep on cheating with other ladies?? Are they perfect than I?? Maybe their name is love . Everytime I see him or hear him talking to them , my heart crushes. I do wonder if love is made for specific people only.
But I think I never fit among the specific. My life is a mess. I don't want to live anymore. I feel so tired of living in a world full of cracks, I wonder if I go missing for some time,, will anyone miss me?? Am afraid of bringing this child in the world of abandonness.
Will the baby hate me?? Will the little angel abandon, despice, deceive me like everyone else?? Everything is a mess. Nothing is completely true in my life. I wish I had left this world before my beloved mother. Life is not fair at all. Others laugh ,I cry, they celebrate I mourn, they eat and drink peacefully I don't. They sleep I struggle, even sleep despices me .
What a boring life it is . I thought I had found love but it seems like love fooled me instead. Please God heal my wounds because I can't find any medicine. Why is my life so complicated?? I need answers to my blank life. No one cares about me, if I die,, it all seems okay. What kind of fate is this??
Fate fate fate, why torture me?? Was I really destined to have a fake dead fate?? Why is my life so complicated?? Does anyone else feel what am feeling in this world full of dark, my marriage is full of dark my life is misserable. I feel like I don't deserve to live anymore.
Fate, why have you hated me like this , I can't hold anymore life is so weird. Am so turnished with this kind of life. I wonder how my lover can set a rendezvous with her mistress in my presence. It's so painful. My fate is really hurting me. All I can do is blubber just like a child. Am heartbroken everyday of my life.
Untill when Will i vagabond in this world. He is such a shenanigan . Untill when Will I be deceived , am so tired. I can't ponder anymore, I might become a lunatic. What a fate . My fate has ruinned me completely. Where shall my hope come from??
