Prologue
She lay in the darkness, her legs curled up, and knees to her chin. The tears that had been streaming down her face and pooling on the bed sheet had long ago dried, but her body still convulsed with shuddering sobs. She could never look at herself in the mirror again. She hated the sight of her own face; the smell of her cowardice sickened her. How could she have done it? How? She flung herself over in anger.
She had just sat there. She hadn’t moved, hadn’t breathed. They had come and taken the most precious gift she’d ever been given away. It was small and defenseless and completely dependant on her.
She’d not been ready to shoulder such a responsibility. She’d told herself that a million times, and every time she said it, the falseness of it and the cowardice behind it had rung thru.
In reality, she was more concerned with her career than with the needs of an infant. She was twenty-three and an intern at a large newspaper in Kansas City. She seemed to be on the fast track and hoped to break into newsroom in record time.
Yet, none of that mattered now. She’d lost it all. Now she’d given away the last piece of her humanity.
Somehow in the dark, she managed to find the pistol. With trembling hands she raised it to her temple. Fighting back tears and fear, she closed her eyes against pain… then pulled the trigger.
The hammer clicked against an empty cylinder. She shook violently with fear. She’d almost done it this time. Her stomach lurched and she wretched violently into a wastebasket arranged, from experience, for this very event. With sweat pouring down her face, she sank back into her pillow, slipping into darkness.
End Prologue
Twenty Years Later…
December 10, 2005
Saint Louis, Missouri
