dream
Alara
“Together?” I asked.
“Together” he answered and took my hand in his.
……………
Those who lose their loved ones early, lose their peace. The left side is always bleeding, they grow up very early like me or they die early like my father.
It’s dark here
Where am I?
Am I drowning?
My lungs feel clogged, I couldn’t breathe maybe I could but right now all I felt were the harsh waves ,stabbing every cell in my body. I expected to come back up, and I did. But each chance of breath became further apart, each breath less than the last. Before I go under this final time, I know I have been kissed by the sun for the last time. I knew I was going to die. It’s funny how People have a weird and sick way of romanticising forms of death. It’s all ugly and it’s all hurt but when you stop feeling, it’s worse. I know this feeling well. I have known it since my childhood, but I can’t break through it. My hair floated upward, and the sunlight was getting further away. That’s when a hand found my arm and pulled me up.
snapping my eyes open, panting heavily in this dimly lit room I stared at the ceiling.
Was…all that a dream?
I scoot back against the headboard, pulling my legs to my chest and wait for…what? A sign that I don’t have the sort of depraved mind that fills me with those types of nightmares.
Those cold heavy waves pierced my skin like thousands of knives. My hair floating, the struggle of trying to get out, the f-feeling.
Gosh keep it together, Alara it was just a dream. A nightmare
Calming myself I took my time to notice the teary eyes glancing at me with worry and terror. At that sight my whole world turned upside down. I don’t care about my pain but the terror in his eyes, that he felt right now for me broke me. He is scared.
“ Rara? Are you alright?” he said with a timid voice, wiping away his tears with his tiny hands.
Looking at him hesitantly, I nod my head
I smiled
“Off-course baby, I am.” I said, voice hardly coming out. Giving me those puppy eyes, he broke down, I looked at his figure sympathetically and wondered why he hasn’t gotten used to it this time, why have I not gotten used to it.
“It’s alright Alex, it’s not the first time that it happened right?” I asked to hug him as tight as I could, he is the only peace I have.
“Yea rara I know but you always look in a lot of pain when you sleep.”
“it’s called a nightmare sweetheart” I chuckle as I felt him snuggled into my chest
“Just a bad dream” currently I didn’t know whether I was consoling him or myself.
Hearing the alarm clock ringing Alex groan.
“Come on, it’s already time. Ugh″ he cried dramatically
“Well, it is now thanks to me.” Putting Alex to the side I walked towards the washroom. My body was drenched with sweat.
“My heart is still pounding” I said as I felt the palpitation going high against my palm. Stripping off my pajamas, I stepped inside the shower.
“Hmm.feels good” I stated as I turned the water to lukewarm and leaned forward , my hands against the wall, the water splashing down my back as I thought about the dream, taking all the time I needed, I got out and changed.
“Alex, baby listen today I won’t be coming till 11 alright” I informed, drying my hair
“Huh. Why? Don’t you want to play with me? U hardly spend time with me” he complained
Signing heavily, I said “off-course I want to play with you, but baby isn’t rara s school important too and today I have to study with Leona cause our exams are near. ” seeing his face dropped I added “ but I promise to take you out this weekend”
“Promise?”
“promise” I confirmed
“But also, you have to promise me that YOU will not by all means not cause any trouble?” I asked
Looking at me for a while he innocently said
“You have a lot of buts you know but sure I promise to not cause any trouble”
Chuckling at this comment.
“It clearly is not what u MEAN”
-----
“IT’S CLEARLY NOT WHAT YOU SAID” I frowned my eyebrows stressfully as Leona complained.
“Leona, please we cannot go out today.” I remarked putting on my white coat.
“Lara, I already asked Dr. Park to do my shift tonight. And I can ask Lexi to do yours.” She kept suggesting ways to convince me. “ I am really tired, and I have no time for clubbing.” Smiling at her sarcastically I muttered loudly.
“You really don’t get it do you?” Christina practically whispered. Looking at her suspiciously, my eyes found Leona who was trying to shut Christina up.
“Dr. Brown ″ before Leona could say a word, we were interrupted. Ah Dr. Ace, a 40-year-old single man. Rumor has it, he’s been married for four times now and just got divorced recently by a girl who can be as old as his daughter. Looking at him just makes me want to arrange that ugly little face of his but he is my boss . For some old reason he is just never on the same page with Christina, whenever she has an opinion on one of our patients, he would dismiss her saying young girls shouldn’t talk much but Christina isn’t any less she would bravely stand up for any wrongdoings of his.
“ Yes Dr. Ace?” I questioned worriedly, as blood dripped from his hand. “ You are needed in the ER at an instant. Go.” He stated,
“ No sir, I am supposed to be in the OR in 15 mins. I am going to assist Dr. Williams today. If you may have mistaken.” I pointed out proudly with a tiny smile.
“ No Brown I am not mistaken, your needed in ER and Dr. Regina will go to the OR instead of you today.” He stated sternly and left, leaving me hung. I tried stopping him only to be rejected again. Stopping near the staircase I looked up only to find Regina smirking at me, a sudden pain increased in my chest I felt like throwing up. I always fuck everything up. I leaned against the wall as Leona neared me.
“ Are you alright Alara? Take some water.” She offered
“ Now you believe me that stick candy is sleeping with him, ″ Christina exclaimed with a lollipop in her mouth. Since day one she never got along with anyone, I wanted this opportunity from the start, and I worked my ass off for it. Doing late night shifts for 13 hours extra.
If looks could kill, she would be dead as a beat right now. Glaring at her for the last time, I quickly jogged upstairs, ignoring the calls of Christina and Leona.
Before entering the ER, I waited upstairs patiently as I tried to wash away the thought of killing Regina. Putting on a fake smile I entered the hall only to find it all floated with patients , I wondered while waking to the receptionist.
“ Are all the hospitals on leave today?” I asked, looking around , hearing me speak she turned. “Oh Dr. Brown, good morning, here.” Giving me the list of patients, I will be attending today. Sighing heavy, not only is it going to be a long day but it’s going to be a hard one too.
