Control

Lea

Today is the day my life changes, the day everything changes. I am going to university thanks to a scholarship I got. I am going to take a degree in political science. I am not going to rush things because in front of me is the person who helped me as much as destroyed me during these last 3 years. His name is Liam. He is as beautiful as he is dangerous. He comes from a very wealthy family, but that has not stopped him from getting into some shady business deals. He runs this town. He is the leader of a gang in this area. He is a very smart guy who graduated with honors while playing quarterback. However, he decided not to go to college much to my delight because he would have followed me in the same university.

- “Lea!” Liam called. “It is time to go.”

- “I will be right there!”

Dressed in a knee-length dress, I walk downstairs and soon enough, I see Liam and his sheep. They always agree with what he says, they are the ones who do his dirty work. This one looks at me from head to toe and my belly is in knots. I took care to wear a “decent” outfit so he would not get angry and ruin my day.

- “Hurry up, we have a long way to go”, he finally says

I rush out of the house and into his fancy sports car. He finishes putting my luggage in the car and then gets behind the wheel. One thing is for sure, I am not going to miss his driving among other things. He drives so fast that I get dizzy every time.

Soon we cross the city sign. I think back to the last years I lived in this city, to my meeting with Liam, to my family and I have a very strong urge to cry but I would not because I am a winner, a fighter. Heading to the university there today, is the proof that I survived. I feel his eyes on me, but I ignore him and pretend I don’t see him. He doesn’t say anything and so we continue the road in peaceful silence.

A few hours later, we arrive in front of my beautiful dorm building. I am so excited that I almost fall when I get out of the car.

- “Be careful princess. You don’t want to be stuck in bed during your first week of school”, he said with a smug smile.

Smiling, I turn around and speak.

- “Don’t worry. I would not miss my first week of school for anything, even if I have to walk with crutches.”

He smiles at me, and I know he is very happy for me. He looks at me with pride and I feel a twinge of sadness because I know in my heart that I will miss him a little. He was by my side the last few years. He made sure that I was well taken care of in his own way, that I did not lack anything. He was a guardian “angel” for me even though I felt imprisoned and suffocated on many occasions.

We have just finished putting my luggage away in my dormitory. Liam wanted to buy me an apartment, but I refused because I didn’t want to be more in debt to him than I was. It was very tense during this period, but he finally agreed on the condition that I would not share my room with another girl. So, for the semester, here I am alone in a room with two beds for myself.

- “It’s time for me to hit the road again, he says. Here are your credit cards, you can buy anything you want.”

- “It is nice, but I don’t need it. I will get a job and support myself.”

- “You’re fucking not going to work”, he said in a harsh tone. “You are going to concentrate on your classes. You are going to text me every fucking day to let me know how you’re doing and you’re fucking going to answer me when I call you. Is that understood?”

- “yes”, I says reluctantly

- “No parties, no going out, no drinking. You know me well enough to know that I would find out if you do what I forbid you to do, and you wouldn’t like what followed. Don’t ever forget where you come from princess.”, he adds.

I got tears in my eyes because I know what he means no friends, no boyfriends. I hate him when I think that I am still a virgin because of him. As soon as he took me under his wing, no man would look at me in high school, let alone talk to me. I belonged to him, and he had the last word on everything about me. Now things are going to change because I am going to make my own life. Even if he has moles here, he will not stop me from enjoying college like everyone else does. Still, I nod my head for now because I know with him, I have to pick my fights and be smart.

He gives me a long look. Looking satisfied, he kisses me on the cheek and holds me a little too long to be friendly. He smells so good that I do not even want to let go. He finally releases me and smiles sadly.

- “I’m going to miss you princess”, he says. “Call me if you need anything and I will be there. Don’t forget that you can never leave your family”.

He touches my wrist to refer to my tattoo on it. A tear finally falls.

- “I know. I will miss you too”, I whispered.

He gives me another hug then smiles at me and leaves.

I find myself alone in my room and start to cry. The problem is that I don’t know if they are tears of relief or sadness.

I take a shower and go to bed. Tomorrow will be a new day.