Prologue
New York City
December 2020
Am I dead or am I still alive? I can't feel anything, I can't feel my body. I try to open my eyes, but I can't, I try to move my arm, nothing, hand, nothing, finger, not a fucking thing is moving, everything is dark.
No, no, no, why, why, fuck! I'm still breathing, I'm alive I think at least that I'm still alive, I can breathe, yes. Thank you, God, I am breathing, so now I need to calm myself down and try to find out where I am and how I got here.
I can hear something, or someone maybe, it sounds far away, like mumbling, like I'm under water. No, no, no please God don't let me die. I start to breathe faster and faster. No Ivy, please, calm down, please, please. Just concentrate on your breaths and think positive, you are alive, everything will be fine, you are going to get out of here.
Do I want to get out of here, where am I, why am I here, what the fuck is going on, why don't I remember where I am? At least I remember who I am, and I remember bits and pieces of a dark shadow standing above me, me lying on the ground and then that voice, that horrible voice shouting at me or maybe at someone else, I cant focus.
Who were they and why were they shouting at me? I start breathing even faster and I can hear my heart beating so fast, Jesus am I going to die? Calm down Ivy, calm down, but nothing is happening, I can't calm down.
There is no use, I am getting a panic attack and I'm not even awake, suddenly, I just feel darkness and silence and then nothing.
