Chapter 1
I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I am shaking like a leaf to the point I feel as if I will fall off the bed any second right now. I can’t do it. My heart is racing at 100 miles per second, sweat dripping down my hands. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. I’ve worked my butt off for this. I take a long deep breath and slowly open my eyes. My eyes and mouth suddenly widen staring at the screen in front of me:
History A*
Geography A*
English Literature A*
Dear Macey Green,
Congratulations, you have been offered a place to study BSc History at the University of Whitchester.
I run straight downstairs to break the news.
“MUM! DAD! I GOT 3A*. I’M GOING TO WHITCHESTER!” I screamed as I entered the living room in the middle of my parents watching This Morning on the sofa.
“Oh my god Mace. I’m gonna start crying,” said Mum putting her hands over her face.
“Don’t start, you’re gonna set your old man off,”. Now that would be a first. I’ve never seen my dad cry. Not ever.
“You’re not crying are you?”
“It’s happy tears Mace,” said Mum giving me a hug.
“Don’t know how I’ve managed to keep it together but I’m well proud of you Mace. Tissue babe,” said Dad joining in the hug.
“Oh this couldn’t be any better news darling. You worked so hard,” said Mum wiping her tears away.
“All the sleepless nights were worth it,” I said unable to contain my grin.
“Do you know why you got 3A*? Because you got your smart genes from me. No offence Phillie,” said Dad. Mum slaps Dad on the arm. “Ouch my arm. I’m just saying babe,”
“Oh I can’t wait any longer to spread the news to everyone else. I run back upstairs and quickly grab my phone. “GRANDMA. GRANDMA. I GOT 3A*. I’M A WHITCHESTER UNIVERSITY STUDENT,”
“Oh darling, I’m ever so happy for you. I knew you could do it. You’ve made my day,”
“It’s surreal. I can’t actually believe it,”
“Don’t get why you’re surprised Mace. You do know you could have told me all of this in person. I’m only five minutes away!”
“My excitement got the better of me,”
Grandma laughed. “Well, you can be impatient sometimes,”
“Can’t wait to tell everyone else,”
“Don’t,”
“Well why not? Mum might have already told them. You know what she’s like,”
“Stop her now before it’s too late,”
“Is everything alright Grandma?”
“Yep everything’s perfect,”
“You’re acting weird, I’m coming over now,”
“No, you go out and treat yourself. You deserve it young lady. Just stop your mum now,”. Well that wasn’t the reaction I hoped. I thought she’d be dying to celebrate with me straightaway. I don’t understand why she wants me to keep the best news I’ve ever had a secret from the rest of the family. Something is definitely up!
“Oh mum, you haven’t told anyone else yet have you?”
“Well, I thought the news should come from my smart little girl herself. Have you not told anyone?”
“Just Grandma but she doesn’t want anyone else to know and she’s desperate to get me out of the house. I mean don’t you find it all a bit odd?”
“That’s my mother for you,” said Dad.
“Well of course everyone will know. Let Grandma do things her own way. I know what she’s like. I’ve known her for what 40 odd years. Lost count now,” said Mum.
“Yeah she can’t possibly want me to keep my silence for no reason especially on a big day like this,”
“Exactly,” said Mum.
“Oh great, texts from Veronica, Georgina and Junior already about my results. What do I say now?”
“Just ignore it,” said Dad.
“But they’ll ask you, you know. What are going to do? Lie to your children?”
“I’ll say that you haven’t checked your results yet,” said Mum.
“But they’ll wonder why. Students get their results in the morning,”
“Oh just ignore it then. They’ll probably ask Grandma anyway. Just leave it down to her since she’s the one who wants you to keep it a secret,” said Mum.
“Okay, I’m going to go out now and give myself a treat. You coming?”
“You joking, we’re still in our pyjamas,” said Dad.
“It was a joke. As if I’d take you. It’s my own treat to myself from myself,” I said lifting my head up with a cheeky grin.
“Oh charming Mace. I hope you don’t become too big headed,” said Mum.
“Make sure you treat us and all,” said Dad pointing at me.
“Yeah, well done for getting into University Dad. You’re such a genius,”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” said Mum.
Oh I have a missed call from Jessica. I bet it’s what I think it is. Better call her back!
“I GOT IN! I GOT INTO OXFORD!”
“That’s amazing Jessica. I knew you would do it,”
“I can’t wait. I’m so excited Mace,”
“I got into Whitchester. I’m over the moon,”
“I’ll miss you Mace. We’ll keep in touch won’t we?”
“Of course we will,”. That was a lie and deep down she knew it too. I didn’t once miss her during the summer holidays and feel the urge to reach out to her and neither did she. The only time she calls is to tell me she got into Oxford. I mean I am happy for her. She worked her socks off but looking back now, we were only friends of convenience-hanging around at school because we were one of the smartest in our class not necessarily because we had a lot in common personality wise. To be honest, all she would do is talk about herself but I only stuck around because she was the only girl who was as studious as I was. It was nice having a library and classroom buddy but that’s all it was and all it ever will be. Block. Goodbye Jessica. Goodbye Barnhill High Sixth Form. University is a fresh start for me and I know just the perfect way to celebrate:
A few steps later and here I am in the middle of Braxton Square surrounded by a crowd of people of all ages and races rushing around to get the best food on offer at Braxton Caribbean Food Market. Oh yes, it’s not just the sun shining. I am shining Bob Marley. You read my mind!
“This is my favourite love making song,” said a tall black middle aged man with white dreadlocks.
“After all these years,” I said.
“Ha, there’s no song like it man,” he said nodding his head clicking his fingers.
“I mean looking at your trousers, I take it you’re already in the mood,”
“Oi, you keep your eyes to yourself young lady,”
“She’s not the only one with wondering eyes,” said a middle aged east asian lady giving him a wink.
“Oh yeah, tell me more…” he said looking at her up and down. “…Oh I’m Errol by the way. It’s my first time here. I’m new to Braxton,”
“I’m Macey. You’re definitely a ladies’ man,”
“I know and a man can’t keep a woman waiting for too long,”
“Er, I’ll leave you guys to it. Nice to meet you,” I said as Errol and his admirer walk arm by arm.
Oooh, even just smelling the plantain and chicken being fried is enough to make my tummy rumble. A little girl has just walked past eating exactly what I’ve come here for and the smell is just too much to handle. The food envy is unreal right now. I need to get there quick!
“I’d get the bulla cake now Mace if I was you,” said Louise.
“Yeah, there’s only one left. Run. Run,” said her young son Jack.
Now where’s the King of Caribbean dessert? Here he is.
“Amaze Mace you clever girl. I knew you would get in,” said Winston.
“Thank you. Er, who told you?”
“Doesn’t matter,”
“Well a celebration isn’t a celebration without cake,”
“Absolutely,”
“I’ve got to go for the rum cake,”
“Oh no you don’t. You may be lucky but I’m not,” he said patting his round belly.
“Yeah but surely I can treat myself to my favourite cake,”
“Are you sure about that Amaze Maze? There are plenty of other options,”
“Well what’s up with you? You’re normally in a hurry to give me my cake. Are you feeling alright?”
“I’m fine,”
“First Grandma, now you. You’re both acting weird. Are you up to something?”
“No of course not,”
“So can I at least have rum cake to bring to University. It will last long enough,”
“How about sweet coconut bread or the last bulla cake. It’s very popular as you can see,”. I might as well give in. It’s better than nothing. I’m sure it will taste just as good. I mean this is Winston we’re talking about.
“Alright, I’ll go for the sweet coconut bread, chopped mangoes and plantain tart. How much?”
“Nothing. You can take it for free,”
“Are you sure? I’ll pay,”
“Come on, you said you wanted to treat yourself and this is my treat for you,”
“Yeah apart from the rum cake. You do know no one can make rum cake as spectacular as you. I don’t know what your magic is but I will miss it at University,”
“What you’ll miss the cake more than me. You’re not my Amaze Mace anymore,”
“No of course I’ll miss you. I’ve known you all my life,”
“But not as much as the rum cake,”
“Well er no,”
“Like I said you don’t want to get fat like me. Let me know how you get on up North. Can’t wait to hear all about it and congratulations again,”
“Thank you. It will be weird not seeing you every week,”
“No, honestly you’ve made me and your family very proud,”
“It’s not a goodbye, it’s more of a see you later Winston,”
“See you later my Amaze Mace,” said Winston hugging me.
I take a seat at the nearest bench and tuck into my food. Oh it is heaven! I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed!
“I wish my wife would look at me the way you look at your food,” said the elderly white man with short thin white hair and white jacket holding a walking stick sitting next to me.
“Well I’m not going to lie, I do love my food,”
“Shame I can’t say that about my wife,”
“Surely you must love each other if you chose to marry each other,”
“No love, nothing is ever that simple in life. You’ll find out when you’re older. You’re what 15,16,”
“I’m 18,”
“Still a baby in my eyes. I hope a man loves you as much as you love your food. Anyway I’ll leave you to it,”. Aww, I really feel for him. He’s clearly not happy. It’s a shame that he doesn’t have the love my parents have for each other but unfortunately not everyone is so lucky.
Oh please don’t tell me word got around the museum as well. Now I know who else to break the good news to before someone else does. I enter the Museum of Black Britain and I see the back of Don chatting away with another man. I run towards him and tap on his shoulder. “It’s good news isn’t it?”
“I got in!”
“Oh congratulations Mace. I’m so happy for you. So does that mean you won’t be coming back?”
“Don, I’ll be back every summer like always,”
“Thank god for that. I don’t know any other welcome assistant better than you,”
“Oh hello Macey,” said my manager Jan as she came from upstairs.
“Jan you do know why she’s here,” said Don.
“Er to say hello,” said Jan.
“Well yes but to come and tell you I got in like I promised,”
Jan gasped. “Oh yes of course. Congratulations Macey. Your family must be so proud,” she said hugging me tightly.
“Even I worked that out and I ain’t the cleverest. Or the slimmest,” said Don.
“I didn’t think I could do it to be honest,”
“What you’ve worked your arse off,” said Don.
“But sometimes your best isn’t enough. We can’t ever take that for granted,”
“It’s all we can do and you did fantastic. We need more young people like us at University. You’re the perfect poster girl,” said the man with Don.
“Oh where are my manners? Sorry Mace, this is my mate Peter. We go way back. We only went to school five years ago,”. Nice try mate. Try telling your face that. We’re talking more like 50 years ago. You’re older than my parents remember!
“Oh Peter. Don has told me all about you. Nice to meet you,”
“He hasn’t said too much has he?”
“Oh no, nothing about your sex life if that’s what you’re worried about,”
“Oh Macey, you make me laugh,” said Jan.
“I’m going to miss you guys,”
“We’ll miss you too. You’re only an undergraduate once so you’ll want to make the most of it,” said Jan.
“I’ll let you know how I get on,”
“Is this a goodbye for good Mace? You’re talking as if you’ve never coming back!” said Jan.
“No I’ll be back every summer. It’s just I’m so lucky to live in such a wonderful place and now I will be leaving for the first time, 141 miles away up North,”
“It’s what the saying, you don’t know what you’ve got until you no longer have it,” said Peter.
“Definitely,” I said.
“Yeah and she’s referring to me as well aren’t you Mace,” said Don with a big cheesy grin nudging me on the shoulders.
“Absolutely not,” I said. Don’s face dropped.
“I thought we were friends. I was going to ask if you wanted to stay for a bit but never mind,”
“No of course I’ll miss you silly. I was only joking and I need to head back home,”
“No I know, I was winding you up,”
“Of course, go and celebrate the rest of the day with your family. I wish you all the best and we’ll see you next summer,” said Jan smiling.
“Make sure you don’t retire too early Don,” I said.
“What I told you, me and Peter only left school ten years ago,”. You said five at first. If you’re going to tell a lie at least be consistent!
“Yeah it shows. You’ve clearly run out of anti-aging cream,”
“Oooh, that ain’t a bad idea Donny,” said Peter.
I return back home to find my whole family-Grandma, my parents, eight siblings and nine little nieces and nephews -gathered around the table in the living room.
“Macey has brilliant news to share with you all,” said Grandma.
“I got into Whitchester!”. My family give the biggest round of applause and run to hug me. I am on cloud nine!
“Well done Mace. I’m so proud,” said Georgina.
“Macey’s a witch,” said Zakiah.
“Er, did you just eat Chicken?” I said as Junior kissed me on the forehead which he has never done before.
“Should have just stuck with the hug then,”
“No darling, Macey is going to a school for big people because she’s clever,” said Grandma as we all go back to our seats.
“Thanks to me,” said Dad.
“Oh as if Dad,” said Peanut rolling her eyes.
“I don’t ever remember you helping her with her homework at night,” said Mum.
“No, he was too busy at it with you. I heard everything Mum. Nothing will ever stop me,” I said. Disgust was written all over Peanut and Georgina’s face.
“That’s what I want to hear but then you’ve always been that way though haven’t you Mace,” said Dad. Dad told me the story of when I was a little girl and there was a major thunderstorm which woke everybody up. He rushed into my room and he tried to wake me up but I was still sleeping. He checked my heart pulse and it was still beating to his relief. He really did think I was dead. Dad said he will always remember the 4th February 2001 as being the scariest night of his life. That is how much of a deep sleeper I am.
“It could have been me you know, following in the footsteps of the oldest child,” said Junior.
“Oh as if mate!” said Dad.
“What you saying? I’m not smart. Thanks for believing in me Dad,”
“You never wanted to go anyway. None of you did well apart from Macey,” said Mum. It’s not necessarily that I’m the smartest in the family. It’s just it’s always been my dream ever since I was 10. I was at the Museum of Black Britain with Grandma and I flicked through the Black British Graduate Success Stories and came across a young lady called Justine Banks who looked like me, studied History, my favourite subject and got a first. I just thought to myself I want to be cool like her and this was when I believed I can achieve anything I set my mind to. My siblings could have went to University but they chose to work since leaving college. It’s more expected now for people my age to go to University as opposed to 10, 15 years when all my older siblings were 18.
“Oh Jesus, the thought of Mum and Dad at it. Poor little Mace. She’s the only one who has to put up with it, but luckily for the rest of us, we don’t,” said Jonathan.
“Well, I’ve not had any complaints,” said Dad.
“It will be me next going to Oxford,” said Bethany.
“Calm down, that’s a hundred years away,” said Dad.
“Er thank you for being a encouraging grandad to my child,” said Peanut.
“You should be pleased that she is a very confident and mature 11 year old,” said Grandma. Yeah probably more mature than her own mother!
“I’m not saying it will never happen,” said Dad.
“Aww, the thought of my graduation photo being on the wall,” I said.
“Our family’s first,” said Georgina.
“Yeah and then it will be me next to your photo,” said Bethany.
“I’m sure it will happen Bethany. No I know it will,”
“You went to Uni didn’t you Reshi?” said Dad.
“Oh the memories,” said Paresh.
“I reckon you’ll come home with a new fella Mace,” said Stuart.
“I’m not interested. I’m there to get a first in my degree not mess around with boys,”
“Never say never. You don’t know what’s around the corner. No one does,” said Lucy.
“You can multi task you know. I did and look at what it got me,” said Paresh kissing Lucy and their 3 year old twin girls Laila and Mia on the cheeks. Paresh is married to my sister Lucy and they were introduced by their mutual friend Sarah who he met at university at a pub when they were 18. The very first moment they set their eyes upon each other, they fell in love and the rest is history! Unfortunately, he is estranged from his family who are from India as he chose to marry a woman darker than him against their wishes. The heartbreaking truth is they see Lucy as a black woman as less beautiful and unvaluable and because of this, they don’t regard him, his wife and Laila and Mia as their family. But thankfully, my kind-hearted, loving family welcome him with both arms and couldn’t be any more tolerant of their relationship. All that matters to them is that he makes Lucy happy which he certainly does.
“Aww, that’s so cute,” said Peanut.
“Well thank you, that’s the nicest you’ve ever been to me,” said Paresh.
“For a second, when you said multitasking, I thought you had something more explicit in mind,”
“Oooh, that reminds me when...” said Dad.
“…enough Dad,” I said.
“You didn’t even let me finish!”
“That should be a private conversation between you and Mum not in front of the whole family especially your mum and the kids not that they understand anyway,” said Georgina.
“So Nan when was the last time you?” said Junior.
“When was the last time I what, you have to be more specific,”
“When was the last time you went on a date?” said Georgina.
“You know what at the market, a 25 year old man asked for my number. He said he had a thing for women in their forties. Quite chuffed,”
“And what did you do?” asked Dad.
“Is someone getting a bit jel now then Patrick?” said Paresh,
“Of what?”
“Your mother looking younger than you,” said Paresh.
“No, she’s probably taking something,”
“Oi Paddy, I’m just blessed,”. There isn’t much of an age difference between Dad and his Mum as she was only 15 when she had him. When Grandma discovered she was pregnant, it was a huge shock for her. Being so young, she just didn’t know what to expect. It can’t have been easy for her as she had to make huge sacrifices. She never finished her education as she had to commit to being a full-time parent. I think this is why she is rooting for me to exceed at University. I was given the chances she never had. Grandma did a splendid job of raising Dad as he grew up to be a well-respected and likeable family man. To be fair, I can’t imagine having a 3 year old child right now. I’ve seen enough of my nieces and nephews to know how much children occupy their parents’ time. I honestly don’t think I would be able to cope. Thank god, I didn’t follow in Grandma’s shoes. No, I take that back, Dad wouldn’t be here and neither would I!
“Unlike some people,” said Paresh.
“Blame the glasses,” said Dad.
“Take it off then,” said Veronica. Dad removes his glasses.
“Sorry you just got unlucky mate,” said Junior laughing. I can’t say I disagree with him.
“You never said what you did Mum,”
“Changing the subject now Dad. Can’t face the truth can you?” said Peanut.
“Nothing. Come on me and a 25 year old. It sounds so wrong ever though it doesn’t look wrong. I’d rather date,”
“Did you get his name?” I asked.
“No I didn’t,”
“Why not?” asked Dad.
“What is this Patrick? A million questions. I’m not interested in toy boys, why bother?”
“So you just love being the star of the male gaze. Actually that’s a pretty intelligent way of putting it,” said Paresh.
“Yeah very clever Paresh,” said Peanut.
“How did he look?” asked Bethany.
“Very handsome,”
“More info please,” said Bethany.
“That’s all I can give you,”
“Damn it, I should have been there,” said Paresh.
“Your loss,” said Grandma.
“So my mum’s still got it,”
“And why does that surprise you Paddy?”
“No that’s just him showing you off,” said Mum.
“I’m not sure about that. I’ll report you for ageism,” said Grandma.
“Oi, you saying kids don’t understand is ageist. I heard you,” said Bethany.
“What are the birds and the bees Bethany?” asked Junior.
“I drew a bee at nursery. Ana said it was the best,” said Laila.
“You are good at your drawing aren’t you Laila,” I said.
“I’m the best,” said Laila.
“I came third in the spelling bee competition,” said Oliver.
“That’s a miracle. Your dad can’t even spell,” said Jonathan.
“He takes after his mum. Shame Dad can never say that,” said Stuart.
“Oi, I’ve inherited her good looks haven’t I babe?”
“Hmmm,” said Mum.
“You know I have which is why you’re still married to me after what 36 years,”. When Mum was 15, her schoolfriend Karen set her up on a date with Dad who was her next-door neighbour at the park as a joke and they never looked back since.
“The birds and the bees,” said Bethany.
“But what is it?” asked Junior.
“I just said the birds and the bees,”
“There you go,” said Junior.
“They haven’t taught the Year 7s yet. I knew in Year 5,” said Jonathan.
“The birdibeans, the birdibeans, the birdibeans, the birdibeans,” said Poppy.
“You know the birds and the bees, is it where…” said Bethany.
“…kissing. You don’t want to know to anymore,” I said.
“Yuck!” said Bethany.
“Argh, Megan kissed me on the cheek in kiss chase and it got all wet,” said Jacob.
“That’s because you’re handsome like your father,” said Stuart.
“But Mr Poppehead looks like Shrek and he has a wife,” said Jacob.
“And there’s your granddad,” said Paresh.
“A bit mean,” I said.
“A bit rich coming from you,” said Dad.
“Your beautiful daughter did choose me so I can’t be too bad,”
“Well, maybe it was because of your personality. She has always liked weird,” said Dad.
“I take that as a compliment,” said Paresh.
“Do you remember that guy who sent Grandma a photo of his favourite toy,” said Georgina.
“Now that’s creepy,” I said.
“I’m nothing like that,” said Dad.
“We only have Mum to ask for that,” said Peanut.
“Don’t look at me,”
“I think that’s her way of saying what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom,” I said.
“I bet she looks at the photo first thing every morning,” said Junior laughing.
“I deleted it,” said Grandma.
“Course you did,” said Dad.
The doorbell rang. “Oh dinner’s ready now,” said Grandma. What is it I wonder?
“Is that chinese food?” asked Dad.
“Paddy, don’t act like you never knew all along,” said Grandma.
“I haven’t had chinese in ages,” I said.
“I’ve forgotten how good chinese food tastes,” I said as I tuck into sweet and sour chicken and egg fried rice.
“Do you know why I got chinese food Mace? You probably don’t remember but when you were 10 years old, you told me at the chinese restaurant in Hatsgate that you wanted to go University and you’ve achieved your childhood dream,”
“We’ve got to drink to that,” said Benjamin.
“Mace doesn’t drink remember,” said Mum.
“Nah, this can be a one off. I only got into University once,”
“Small glass or big glass,” said Mum.
“Oooh, someone’s changed,” said Grandma.
“There’s a first for everything. It’s just for today though. It’s my present to myself. Think I’ll have rum warm in a small glass,”
“But what about us?” said Bethany.
“Water will do,” said Dad.
“Can’t I have rum? You let me have rum cake,” said Bethany.
“Water helps your hair to grow?” said Stuart.
“But my hair is long already,”
“But it can be even longer,” said Stuart.
“Oh let her have a tiny sip,” said Mum. She hands over a small glass of alcohol to Bethany.
“Oh yes, you’re the best,”. Bethany’s face melts into a frown as she takes a sip. “That’s Apple Juice,”
“It’s Apple Wine,” said Mum.
“No, it’s Apple Juice. I know it,”
“Mum you do know you will never get away with tricking a 11 year old. This is Bethany we’re talking about,” said Junior.
“Argh, the food is disgusting,” said Zakiah as he spits out the chow mein.
“I’m sorry I can’t have the food go to waste. Auntie Georgina’s loving the chow mein so we’ll let her have the leftovers and I’ll get you young man fish and chips. How does that sound?” said Benjamin.
The kids’ faces lighten up. “Can we come?” asked Mia.
“I want to come,” said Zakiah.
“Go and get your coats kids,” said Benjamin.
“Kids, I have something to show you upstairs,” said Grandma running after them.
Mum and Dad look at each other. “Close your eyes Mace,” said Dad.
“Why?”
“Just do it until we tell you to open it,” said Mum.
I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Is it what I think it is?
“Careful Janet,” said Mum.
“Move that Junior,” said Dad.
A small hand moves my hand onto a big box on the table. “Open your eyes now Macey,” said Mia.
I open my eyes and I am speechless. Rum cake! The whole rum cake in a pretty pink box saying Congratulations Macey in black and white icing!
“It’s from Insteen,” said Laila.
“That was why you were being sneaky earlier. I knew something was up!”
I’ve got the best family and cake in the world right in front of me. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate.
