Ex best friend
Dear Cherry,
Remember when we were once friends? When you weren’t toxic? When you were still the same?
I don’t know what happened and I don’t know why you changed but I miss the old carefree elementary school girl who loved pink and wasn’t boy crazy and obsessed with terrible skin.
I miss the girl who I was able to talk to about my falling apart family.
I miss the sleepovers we used to have.
The snacks we used to eat.
The soccer games we used to play.
And I know you probably won’t see this because your probably still going to be a horrible person and I know I might not even end up sending this but I still have a little bit of hope that maybe.
Just maybe we could become friends again.
I know that isn’t likely but if it is I wanted to tell you that my family is finally trying to stop seeming perfect. My parents finally let it fall apart.
We don’t talk at all anymore. And my parents are divorced now. My siblings all went with my mom but I’m stuck with my dad. And he’s never here.
I cry most nights because of the broken life that I have. And when I think about the life my parents tried to give us and failed I cry.
Sometimes when I feel a little too down and depressed and just want to die I go to the place we always used to go to.
Do you remember? Do you remember the pond?
The pond behind the gates?
Where the water was clear. The grass was green with different colored flowers everywhere.
Rocks around the edges do you remember?
The tree we carved both our names in because why not.
I remember back then we thought we’d be friends forever but now here we are giving each other the stink eye every chance we get…
Believe it or not but I don’t think you did what Anatery said you did. I would’ve told you but by the time I came up with that conclusion it was too late.
I miss you.
The old you.
Not the new you.
I wish you’d come back. For me. For my well-being because everyday I feel like I’m dying inside and to be honest I felt like that when I was little too but the difference between then and now is I have no one to talk to.
Anyway I’ve told you about how I was, what about you? How are you? Don’t lie, be honest with me and yourself. How are you really? I can see through your fake smiles and your fake laughs. I can see through it all. And I hope one day those people you call your friends can too. But as far as I can see now no one can.
Anyway til later
Lylke,
