Cold

It was a very strange feeling that consumed me. I have never seen anything like it before. Most people pray they never do. The Thing is it didn’t bother me. That’s what I found the most disturbing.

When I touched her cold skin it was like touching an apple, more firm but still smooth.

She didn’t have the best skin as if she enjoyed picking at it. her face had scabs from where blood had clotted from scratching non-stop.

Someone told me once that that is a coping mechanism for stress. If this is true she must have been under a lot of it. Her lips were an off shade of light blue with a grey tint not as purple as I imagined it would be.

I wish I knew her name, her story.

Everyone has a story. Gazing over her body taking in everything I notice a cut resembling a previous c-section, more than one. You can see where the stitches overlapped. So I guess she was a mom.

That explains the stress lol.

I think she had a job, there is something written on her hand but it is too rinsed off to figure out what it says. There are definitely some numbers. Her clothes look expensive. What's left of it.

The sleeves were completely torn off and the collar is pulled backward to a point of strangulation but there are no bruises on her neck. The shirt had a picture on it, batman I think. It seems washed off, aged well but those are Docs on her feet, I have been looking at purchasing that pair but at that cost…I'll skip it.

Funny the grey of the shirt kind of matched her lips, bet that was not intensional. I run my hands from her ankles to her thighs slowly feeling her cold skin tingle underneath my own. I can almost hear the hairs on my neck standing up. But it’s not fear it is more excitement.

Does that make me a sick person? Finding this slightly arousing.

I lay my head down next to hers breathing slowly as it feels disrespectful breathing next to her if she can’t do that herself. I pull her closer to me in a hugging embrace trying to warm her slightly with my body heat but in the process only causing my own to go down. She is heavy, very I guess that is what they mean by dead weight. As I lay there with her in my arms shivering I am sad. There is water dripping down my cheek. What is this sudden burst of emotion, I didn’t even know her. Maybe it's because she looks so much like me. The dark hair the light skin. I myself collect marvel and DC Clothing, comics, and figurines. I've been trying to become a mother myself and just thinking about those kids growing up without their mom is very depressing.

What happened to her, I need to know. I can’t leave it the way it is. I have seen so many criminal movies to know a bit about it. There is no trauma to her head and when I found her she didn’t seem to have any injuries. There was no other blood caused by an injury such as blunt force trauma, pity though I think that could have been cool. She doesn’t seem to have any bruises either which makes me think that it was something natural, but the struggle the strangulation? perhaps she was moved around post-death. dragged by her collar like some sort of animal.

Her nails are blue with vertical grooves on them it could be either her heart or lungs the grooves make it seem like she had prolonged breathing problems. It’s not as high as someone with asbestos shows. More like an asthmatic.

Look I’m not a doctor or anything just curious.

I open her mouth carefully to see if it is inflamed. Don’t really know if it stays that way after death but it's worth a shot.

Her breath smells like death. Stomach acid combined with vomit. The best way to explain it is heartburn. Yes, that’s it, it smelled exactly like heartburn. That burp after eating a sweet chili burger pie at a garage.

I closed it not looking inside as my eyes started burning right after opening it.

Slight turn off one would think but when I closed her mouth my fingers ran over her soft lips. Amazingly soft lips. beautiful blue lips.

When you touch a man's lips it is hard and firm, scratchy and spikey from the stubble surrounding them. It's a good feeling a slightly painful but a good pain. On the other hand, when you touch a woman's lips it's soft, smooth not spikey unless she has some sort of a hormonal imbalance. I imagine it worm-like home, I moved my head closer ignoring the smell and placing my lips on hers. I wonder if she would have consented to this if she were alive.

It wasn’t warm, there was no feeling of home at all. It was more of a feeling of being lost. Her lips were cold as the rest of her motionless face. I tried again but they stayed cold. I tried breathing out on them to warm them with my breath but even that didn’t help.

I needed more, more of her, more of her life. I needed to know her like only a few ever did. Every inch from her head to her toes. I needed to tell her story.

She was young, not that young about 25 to 30 if I were to guess, caucasian. She was pretty but not in the, I want you sense. More in an unconventional sense. A little overweight. Have you ever seen Adelle in her older music videos? They had about the same build. Her dark hair was about 5cm over her shoulders and she had a few tattoos. Not too many just enough to make her look hot but not trashy. Her belly was pierced twice, top and bottom. She probably had that done when she was younger and more in shape as there are now empty holes where jewelry used to be. It makes her seem more naked than she should be.