Once, twice, three times a lover - 2/22/22
“But just because they can’t feel it too doesn’t mean that you have to forget”
- “The Call” by Regina Spektor
The first time is nice, even lovely, and I am left grateful.
The second time begins to remind me, awakening the sweetness before it’s bitter counterpart.
And the third time, I teeter between losing my balance and falling in love.
I know that distance does indeed make two hearts fonder but it can offer the heartbroken a merciful forgetfulness too. Perhaps when distance is imposed between two lovers in-sync, the magnetic force, which attracts one to the other, makes it difficult to remain apart. And maybe, when that distance is placed between two beings, one in and the other out of love, that same magnetic force now repels; not their physical beings per-say but rather their psychic selves (thoughts and emotions comprised therein)
My ju-ju theories aside, proximity is a strange and powerful force which influences greatly the feelings of love one feels towards their beloved. With distance, one may come to forget the beloved’s shining visage; the miracle of their mere existence. And in that ancient kiln of tragedy, the lover begins to relinquish their love while
, with that same distance, the once-uninterested
beloved comes to forget why they chose to flee from open arms at all; at once returning to the promise of a perfect and all-consuming amor. For that reason, prodigal’s lovers often leave disappointed.
The first time is nice, even lovely, and I am left grateful and in tact.
The second time begins to remind me, awakening the sweetness shortly before it’s bitter counterpart follows.
And the third time, I am placed at the door of madness; teetering between losing my balance and falling in love; no more protected than if I had never tasted the hell of heartache before; and had not been made to crawl myself back to life, all amidst the wreckage of my unquenched love for her.
Young flowers from my past selves bloom; a belated burial in the Ides of June.
