What is your opinion?
Roots and Melodies - A Thought
"This story has the workings. Abuse, drinks, clubs, millionaires...it has it all. What it's missing in terms of content is language. Every sentence is simple and concise, and little to no descriptive and figurative language is used. Use the language to your advantage! Use it to capture the audience, to make them hold on to your every word as if their lives depended on it. That's great writing. However, the idea is a good one, and the twists with the personalities of the characters (especially Josh not being the cliche rockstar) were much appreciated. With some major proofreading (particularly with the lack of and misuse of commas and incorrect uses of ellipses, semicolons, and dashes), revision, and some real thematic thinking in putting this story together, it could become a well-known drama/romance."
Too short
"Nice simple story, easy read, but needs a lot more development. There should be a better build-up of the personalities and, obviously, there are a few chapters missing at the end. Are there more coming? A real pleasure is the quality of the language. I think I found just one error. Compared to what seems common these days - amazing. Easy read - a real pleasure but really an unfinished project. A promising writer, please encourage."
