Chapter 1

*THIS STORY WAS WRITTEN BY MY FRIEND POLLEN WHO SENT IT TO ME AND ASKED ME TO PUBLISH IT ON HERE*

“Summer break.” A boy with a baseball hat says. “A time for leisure, recreation, and taking it easy.” Then the boy, a person in a black T-shirt with a bumblebee on it, and a girl in a sweater come crashing through the ”Welcome to Gravity Falls!” sign on a golf cart.

“Unless you’re me!” The T-shirt person yells as they fall onto the road. They scream as the golf cart falls after being driven off a small hill. “Dipper, you sound squeakier than Madison.” Sweater girl teases.

“Not the time for this!” Dipper yells.

Behind them, trees begin to fall down, and you can see a huge shadow chasing them. They run into a rock, but manage to stay on the road.

“I’m Madison!” says the voice over. (It’s T-shirt kid.) “The nerd is Dipper, and the sweater girl about to puke is Mabel.”

“Now you may be wondering why we’re in a golf cart fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.” A tree is thrown right over their heads and they’re about to crash into it. “Rest assured, there is a perfectly logical explanation.”

“Let’s rewind. It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air. They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our Great Uncle’s place in the woods.”

In the house, Mabel is setting up posters of her favorite movies, bands, and TV shows.

“This attic is amazing!” She says, showing off her gray braces. “Check out all my splinters!” She holds out her hands, which have at least three splinters per finger.

“Ah!” Dipper’s voice cracks. “And there’s a goat on my bed?”

“Hey friend.” Mabel walks over to the goat. It ducks its head and starts eating her sweater. “Oh yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater.”

Yeah, my sister tends to look on the bright side. Madison thinks. But me and Dipper are still getting used to our new surroundings.

Dipper and Madison were working on their shared journal together when a person with a fish head spooked them. Dipper screamed and fell over, while Madison rolled their eyes. Then there was our Great Uncle Stan. The fish-headed person pulled off their head, revealing themselves to be a human man with a fez and a huge nose. Our Gunkle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called the Mystery Shack. The real mystery was why anyone came.

And guess who had to work there! Mabel reached out to touch a huge eyeball on display.

“No touching the merchandise!” Stan slapped her hand away with his magic 8 ball cane. It looked like it was going to be the same boring routine all summer until one fateful day…

Mabel is hiding behind a shelf full of Stan bobbleheads. “He’s looking at it, he’s looking at it!” She whispers/squeals. A boy with black hair across from Mabel opens up a note.

“Do you like me?” He reads. “Yes. Definitely. Absolutely?!?”

“I rigged it.” Mabel whispers.

“Mabel. I know you’re going through your whole boy-crazy-phase-″ Dipper starts.

“But we think you’re going overboard with the crazy part.” Madison finishes.

“WHAT?” Mabel sticks out her tongue. “Come on guys, this is our first summer away from home. It’s my big chance to have an epic summer romance!”

“Good point, but-” Madison looks at Dipper.

“Do you really need to flirt with every guy you meet?” Dipper shrugs. There was that time she went up to a boy and said, ‘My name is Mabel, but you can call me the girl of your dreams.’ And then pushed over that guy and said ‘I’m kidding.’ Boy was that awkward. And when she was talking to that guy about turtles. We-ird! And then that guy dressed in all purple…

“Mock all you want siblings, but I got a good feeling about this summer.” Mabel crosses her arms. “And I wouldn’t be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now.”

As if on cue, Gunkle Stan walks through that door. “All right, look alive people! I need people to hang up these signs in the spooky part of the woods.”

“Not it!” Madison and Dipper put their pointer fingers over their noses.

“Not it!” Says Mabel, a few seconds later.

“Also not it.” Says a guy working at the store with a question mark on his T-Shirt. (Dipper says his name is Soos.)

“Soos, I’m going with you.” Stan turns toward him.

“I know. And I’m uncomfortable with that. Nom nom.” Soos bites a chocolate bar.

“Wendy, I need you to put up these signs in the woods!” Stan calls out to the red-head at the cash-register.

“I would but I can’t reach it.” Wendy says without even looking up from her magazine.

“I’d fire all of you if I could.” Stan growls. “Ok, how about, eenie meenie miney you.” Stan points to Dipper and Madison. “Both of you, since you’re practically one person.”

“Um, one of us is nonbinary?” Madison says.

“Besides, whenever I’m in that part of the woods I feel like I’m being watched.” Dipper frowns.

“Oh, this again.” Stan sighs.

“We’re telling you, there is something weird going on in this town.” Madison says. “This morning Dipper’s mosquito bites spelled out beware!”

“That says bewarb!” Stan sighs.

“Oh.” Dipper looked down.

“Look kid, the whole ‘Monsters in the forest thing’ is just a local legend drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that.” Stan points to a guy holding a Stan bobblehead and laughing. “So paranoid!” He throws Dipper and Madison the signs.

The wind whistled through the trees. We put up most of the signs. “I doubt Grunkle Stan believes anything we say.” Madison sighs and hangs another sign. They walk over to another tree and try to hammer the nail onto it but it only makes a dent in the tree and makes a loud banging sound. Dipper walks over from the tree he was working on and hits the weird tree with his hammer.

Madison reaches out, grabs a knot on the metal tree, and pulls on it, which opens up a weird secret compartment with spiderwebs and a weird radio.

“Woah.” Dipper reaches in and turns the knobs on the radio until a different secret compartment opens up in the ground behind them. “What the?”

Madison walks over and takes something out of it. A diary with a six fingered hand on the cover and a number 3 written on top of the hand. It has a glass monocle attached to it. They open it up to the first page, which says “Property of” with the person’s name torn out.

“It’s hard to believe it’s been six years since I started researching the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon.” They read. “Dipper, check it out!” The journal was full of pages about cursed doors, gnomes, and zombies. “Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I’m being watched! I must hide this book before He finds it. Remember-in Gravity Falls, there is no-one you can trust.” Madison and Dipper look at each other.

“Hey!” Mabel is suddenly there. “Whatcha reading? Is it some nerd thing?”

“Nothing!” Madison and Dipper speak at the same time.

“Are you actually not gonna show me?” Mabel shugs.

“Uh…” Dipper says. “Let’s go somewhere private.”

Later, when they’re inside, Dipper and Madison start pacing in time. “It’s amazing! Grunkle Stan said we were paranoid, but according to this book Gravity Falls has a secret dark side.” Madison says.

“Woah!” Mabel says. “Shut up!”

“And get this-after a certain point, the pages just-stop. Like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared!” Dipper chimes in. The doorbell rings. “Who’s that?”

“Time to spill the beans.” Mabel puts her hands on her hips.”Oh, beans. This girl’s got a date! Woot woot!”

“Let me get this straight, in the half hour we were gone, you already found a boyfriend?” Dipper shakes his head in confusion.

“What can I say, I guess I’m just irresistible!” Mabel says while crossing her eyes, pulling her hands inside the arms of her sweater and flailing them around. The doorbell rings again. “Oh! Coming!” She runs off. Grunkle Stan walks in just after Dipper and Madison settle down to read the journal. “Whatcha reading, slick?”

“Oh! We were just catching up on-” Madison pulls out something that looks like a brochure. “Gold chains for old men magazine?” Wait, what? They think.

“That’s a good issue.” Grunkle Stan takes a sip of his orange juice.

“Hey family!” Mabel says. “Say hello to my new boyfriend!” A guy in black pants and a black hoodie with something red on his face is the person that Mabel is calling her boyfriend.

“Sup.” Says Dipper.

“How’s it hanging?” Said Grunkle Stan.

“We met at the cemetery.” Mabel says. “He’s really deep. Oh. A little muscle here. (Something nobody can hear)”

“So… What’s your name?” Madison asks.

“Uh… Normal… Man?” Says the weird dude.

“He means Norman.” Mabel smiles at Norman.

“Um, are you bleeding, Norman?” Dipper frowns.

“It’s JAM.” Norman says. Weirdo, Madison thinks. Who talks like that?

“I LOVE jam!” Mabel smiles. Ok at this point Mabel’s just being really weird.

“So… You wanna go… Hold hands, or whatever?” Norman says. They walk away. Something about this dude isn’t right. Me and Dipper decided to look at the journal for answers.

“Known for their pale skin and bad attitude, these creatures are often mistaken for… TEENAGERS!” Madison reads from the journal. “Beware Gravity Falls, they are nefarious… ZOMBIES!”

Down stairs, Grunkle Stan asks, ”Did someone say Crombys? What is a Cromby? It’s not even a word. It lives in your mind.”

Back upstairs, Dipper gets up to look through the red stained glass window behind him and Madison. (It’s shaped like the Illuminati. Weird.)

“Oh no! MABEL!” Madison starts running downstairs. Once they get downstairs, they notice Mabel’s boyfriend is just putting a daisy chain around her neck. “Oh. Phew.” They walk back upstairs.

“Is our sister really dating a zombie, or are we just going nuts?” Dipper asks Madison once they get back upstairs.

“It’s a dilemma to be sure.” Dipper gasps and looks up, but it’s just Soos replacing a lightbulb. “I couldn’t help but overhear you talking to each other in this empty room.”

“Soos, you’ve seen Mabel’s boyfriend. He’s gotta be a zombie, right?” Madison asks.

“Hmmm.” Soos thinks. “How many brains did you see the guy eat?”

“Zero.” Dipper rolls his eyes.

“Look dudes, I believe you, I’m always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude’s a werewolf.” Soos thinks for a little while. “But you gotta have evidence. Otherwise people are gonna think you’re a major league cuckoo clock.”

“As always, Soos, you’re right.” Madison nods.

“My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse.” Soos nods.

“Soos!” Stan yells from downstairs. “The portable toilets are clogged again.”

“I am needed elsewhere.” Soos says as he walks downstairs backwards.

Our sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence.

Dipper and Madison are in the bushes with a camera, recording Mabel and Norman playing frisbee. Mabel throws the frisbee and it hits Norman in the head. He falls to the ground face-first. Next they watch as Norman breaks a window to open a door for Mabel. Next they watch as Norman and Mabel go to a restaurant together. Norman, as always, is walking weird.

Next they are walking through the cemetery and Norman falls into an open grave.

We’d seen enough. It was time to confront Mabel.

Dipper and Madison burst into a room where Mabel was brushing her hair.

“Mabel, we’ve gotta talk about Norman.” Madison says.

“Isn’t he the best!” Mabel points to her face. “Check out this giant smootch mark he gave me!”

Dipper gasps.

“Just kidding, that was an accident with a leaf-blower.” Mabel laughs. “Kissing practice! That was fun.”

“Ew.” Madison looks like they might puke. “We’re trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems.”

“Gasp!” Mabel frowns. “Do you think he might be a vampire? That would be so AWESOME.”

“No, I think he’s… Kerbam!” Dipper shows Mabel the page about gnomes. “Oops, not that. I mean…” Dipper flips to the page about zombies. “Kerbam!”

“A zombie? That jokes not funny Dipper.” Mabel puts her hands on her hips.

“We’re not joking! It all adds up. Plus Madison is here too.” Dipper starts pacing.

“Thanks, Dipper.” Madison frowns at Mabel. “Why do you keep forgetting I’m here?”

“The bleeding, the limp, HE NEVER BLINKS!” Dipper frowns. “Have you noticed that?”

“Maybe he’s blinking when you’re blinking.” Mabel says.

“Remember what the book said about Gravity Falls?” Madison says. “tRuSt No OnE!”

“What about me, huh? Why can’t you trust your own sister?” Mabel frowns. Then she smiles and puts on star earrings.”Bing bong!”

“Mabel! HE’S GONNA EAT YOUR BRAINS!” Dipper shakes Mabel.

“Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o’clock and I’m gonna be adorable!” Mabel punches Dipper. “And he’s gonna be trying and I’m not gonna let you run it with one of your conspiracy theories!” Mabel pushes Dipper out the door and closes it in his face. “Oh, Madison, you were here?”

“I’ve been here this whole time!” Madison starts blinking rapidly. “I was TALKING to you! Besides, I agree with Dipper!” They stormed out the door. I’m not crying I’m not crying, They think as they run outside.

“Wait, Madison!” Dipper reached out but Madison was already gone. “What did Mabel say?” He sits down. “What am I gonna do?”

Later, at five o’clock. The weird clock shaped like an owl rings at the same time as the doorbell. Madison just came out of the bathroom and their eyes are red and puffy.

“Madison?” Dipper asks.

“I DON’T want to talk about it.” Madison growls.

“Coming!” Mabel runs down stairs to Norman. “How do I look?”

“Shiny!” Norman says. (Weirdly.)

“You always know what to say.” Mabel smiles. They walk off toward the woods.

“Maybe we are paranoid.” Dipper frowns. “It’s not like we have any real evidence anyway.” They start re-watching the video clips. One plays where Norman’s hand falls off and he bends down and puts it back on.

“Wait, WHAT?” Madison re-watches that video again. “AHH! We were right! We were right! Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Stan!” They run out the door.

Dipper and Madison keep trying to get Stan’s attention, but he is leading a tour group.

“And here we have rock that looks like a face.” Stan says.

“Does it look like a rock?” Says someone in the tour group.

“No. It looks like a face.” Grunkle Stan frowns.

“Is it a face?” Says the guy that was looking at the Stan bobbleheads.

“It’s a rock that LOOKS like a face.” Stan’s getting angry. Oh no.

“FOR THE FIFTH TIME, IT’S NOT AN ACTUAL FACE.”

Off in the forest, Mabel and Norman are alone.

“Finally, we’re alone.” Says Captain Obvi-Oops, I mean Mabel.

“Yes. Alone.” Norman is acting all creepy. He reaches out a hand.

Back at the shack, Dipper spots Wendy on a golf cart. “Wendy!”

“WENDY WE NEED TO BORROW THE GOLF CART SO WE CAN SAVE OUR SISTER FROM A ZOMBIE!” Wendy drops the keys into Dipper’s hand.

“Try not to hit any pedestrians!” Wendy winks.

Dipper gets in the front. Madison sits in the back so that Mabel can get in quickly. Dipper hits the pedal and they go backwards, and stop by Soos.

“This is for the zombies.” Soos hands Dipper a shovel.

“Thanks.”

“And here is in case you see a pinata.” Soos hands Madison a baseball bat.

“Thanks?”

“Better safe than sorry!” Soos yells as they head off towards the woods.

But what’s happening with Norman?

“Mabel, now that we’ve gotten to know each other, there’s, um, something I should tell you.”

“Oh, Norman. You can tell me anything!” Mabel says.

“Ok.” Norman says. “Just keep an open mind, be cool!” Norman takes off his costume and turns out to be… FIVE GNOMES STACKED IN A HOODIE?!?

“Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?” The gnome on top claps his hands. “All right, I’ll explain. So, we’re gnomes, first off. Get that one out of the way, I’m Jeff. And here we have Carson, Steve, Jason, and I’m sorry I always forget your name.”

“Smapyurlok.” Says the gnome on the bottom left.

“Shamapyoulock, yes.” Jeff snaps his fingers. “So, long story short, us gnomes have been looking for a new queen. Right guys?”

“QUEEN!!” All the other gnomes say.

“So, what do you say?” Jeff stomps on Steve’s head and the gnomes get down on one knee and hold out a ring. “Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri-? Matrimony? Bleh. Can’t talk today.”

“Look, I’m sorry guys, you’re really sweet, but, I’m a girl, and you’re gnomes, and it’s like WHAT? Yikes.” Mabel shrugs.

“We understand. We’ll never forget you Mabel.” Jeff frowns. “Because we’re gonna kidnap you.”

“What?” Mabel tilts her head to the side. Jeff and the rest of the gnomes run at her.

“Don’t worry Mabel!” Madison yells as Dipper drives the golf cart wildly through the woods. “We’ll save you!” They drive through to the clearing to find… Mabel being kidnapped by gnomes? Wait, WHAT? Madison thinks.

“The more you struggle the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody!” Says Jeff. “Just- Ok, just get her arm there Steve.” The gnome named Steve bit onto Mabel’s sweater. Mabel shook him off and punched him in the face. Steve falls to the side and starts puking rainbows.

“What is happening here?” Dipper asks.

“Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes!” Mabel says while fighting off the bunch of gnomes. “And they’re total jerks! Ow! Hair! Stop pulling my hair!”

“Huh.” Madison opens the journal. “Gnomes, little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses: Unknown.”

“Oh, come on!” Mabel has been tied up by the gnomes.

“Hey!” Madison walks up to Jeff. “Let go of our sister!”

“Um, you know this is all just a big misunderstanding.” Jeff says. “You see, your sister’s not in danger, she’s just marrying all 1,000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn’t that right honey?”

“You guys are butt-faces!” Mabel says before one of them covers her mouth.

“Give her back right now, OR ELSE!” Dipper grand the shovel and points it at the gnomes.

“You think you can stop us boy, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE’RE CAPABLE OF.” Jeff says. “THE GNOMES ARE A POWERFUL RACE, DO NOT TRIFLE WITH THE- ah!” Madison took the shovel from Dipper, scooped up Jeff, and plopped him onto the ground. Madison used the shovel to cut the ropes holding down Mabel and they both ran to the golf cart.

“He’s getting away with our queen!” Jeff pouts. “No no NO!”

“Seatbelt!” Madison climbs in the back just as Mabel buckles in.

“You’ve messed with the wrong creatures boys, GNOMES OF THE FOREST, ASSEMBLE!” Jeff summons all of the gnomes and they run together to form one mega-gnome.

“Hurry, before they come after us!” Mabel turns to Dipper.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, have you seen their legs? Suckers are tiny.” Dipper says.

“Um, you’ve jinxed us.” Madison points to the mega-gnome.

“AHHHH!” Mabel and Dipper scream.

“COME BACK WITH OUR QUEEN!” Yells Jeff from the top of the gnomes. A couple of the gnomes jump off of the monster and attack the golf cart. Dipper swerves and shakes them off. Dipper’s baseball hat flies off too. The gnomes growl and throw a tree at the golf cart. It stops and gets stuck in the trees just above the height of the golf cart. They skidd under the fallen tree, barely making it.

Following the signs, they get to the Mystery Shack just as the golf cart falls on its side. They climb out and hide behind it.

“Stay back, man!” Madison throws the shovel at the gnome, but it bats it away. “Where’s Grunkle Stan?”

Meanwhile, inside:

“The world’s most distracting object: Just try to look away, you can’t! I can’t even remember what I was talking about.” Grunkle Stan says.

“It’s the end of the line kids!” Jeff points to Mabel. “Mabel, marry us before we do something CRAZY!”

“There’s gotta be a way out of this!” Dipper starts looking through the journal. Madison ready’s the base-ball bat.

“I don’t know about you, but those gnomes are starting to look like a PINATA.” Madison attacks the gnomes, hitting them over and over, but there are too many of them.

“I gotta do it before Madison gets themself killed.” Mabel says.

“WHAT? Mabel! Don’t do this! Are you CRAZY?” Dipper asks. Madison growls at the monster and leaps up, hitting it in the face. The gnome pushed them down and hit them in the face with their own baseball-bat. Madison doesn’t get back up.

“Trust me.” Mabel gives Dipper THE LOOK ™ .

“WHAT?” Dipper’s eyebrows go up.

“Dipper, just this once, trust me.” Mabel points to herself. If Madison was awake,they would listen, Dipper thinks. He backs away and then runs to Madison to make sure that they’re ok. If they died, it’d be like losing half of myself.

“All right Jeff, I’ll marry you.” Mabel says.

“Hot dog!” Jeff smiles and climbs down the gnomes, saying their names and he stepped on their faces. He pulled out the ring and put it on Mabel’s hand. “Now let’s get you back into the forest.”

“You may now kiss the bride.” Says Mabel.

“Well, don’t mind if I do.” Just as they are about to kiss, Mabel pulls out the leaf blower and the blower sucks up Jeff.

“This is for lying to me! And this is for breaking my heart!” Mabel flips the settings on super-reverse. “And this is for messing with my siblings!” She turns to Dipper. “Wanna do the honors?”

“On three.”

“One, two, three!” Dipper flips the switch onto forward and it knocks down the gnome army and scatters them into the woods.

“Hey, Dipper.” Mabel says. “I’m sorry for shutting that door in your face. You were just looking after me.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. Besides, I think we both know who deserves an apology.” Dipper nods toward Madison, who is sitting up and rubbing their head. “They almost killed themselves for you. I think it’s time you started paying more attention to them.”

“Ok.” Mabel walks over to them. “Madison, I’m sorry I keep forgetting you. I think you deserve as much attention as me and Dipper and I’m not exactly giving it to you.”

“It’s fine.” Madison forces a smile. This apology might actually help this time, or it could be a bunch of empty words. “Awkward sibling hug?” Madison waves Dipper over.

“Awkward sibling hug.” Mabel, Dipper, and Madison hug.

“Pat pat.” After that, Madison draws back a bit. Dipper and Mabel go inside and Grunkle Stan gives them both free items from the shop. Mabel picks a grappling hook and Dipper picks a baseball hat with a pine tree on it. Madison walks back towards the woods. I already have everything I need anyway, myself, my bumblebee t-shirts, and Dipper.

And one thing this ending doesn’t need is a Madison. Madison climbs a tree and goes “Summer break.” A boy with a baseball hat says. “A time for leisure, recreation, and taking it easy.” Then the boy, a person in a black T-shirt with a bumblebee on it, and a girl in a sweater come crashing through the ”Welcome to Gravity Falls!” sign on a golf cart.