Chapter 1
“I can’t take this shit no more, Ulysses. If you want to put me and our child out, then fine. I’m through with this back and forth with you.” I calmly pack as much of our stuff as I can. My mom said she would be outside in five minutes, so I have to hurry.
“I didn’t say I want y’all out. I’m just not ready to be a father yet.” He tries to explain. That’s stupid to say now. You should’ve thought of that 7 months ago.
“Whatever, help me take this stuff to my mom’s car” I try to dismiss the whole argument. We pack my mom’s tiny car to the roof and fill her trunk with baby clothes and toys. Last but not least we attach the car seat. He tries to talk to me again but I ignore him, because I’m too focused on making sure that our daughter is strapped in correctly.
“Mimi, I still love y’all” I quickly close the door as soon as I’m seated.
“Do y’all need anything else from here?” My mom asks softly.
“No, ma’am” she reverses out of the driveway. Here I go away from the house that I’ve been at for years now. My mom tries to make conversation but my mind is preoccupied. When she realizes that I’m not into the conversation, the rest of the ride is silent.
We arrive at a two story, three bedroom cottage on the outskirts of town thirty minutes later. I’ve always loved this house. It’s so beautiful. It has a wrap around porch from the front door to the deck on the back. On the side of the house is a garden filled with vegetables and flowers. The backyard leads to the forest. When you enter a coat closet to the left and the stacked washer and dryer closet to your right. If you walk a little further there is a bathroom next to the coat closet And my room is across from the bathroom. After you pass my room, there is a U-shaped kitchen. The kitchen is open to the dining room. Several windows fill the living room which is across from the dining room. There is a set of glass French doors leading from the dining room to the deck. During the winter, the fireplace is ablaze and keeping the small house warm. Two bedrooms upstairs share a bathroom. The master, of course, has private access to the upper porch that can be noticed from the backyard.
She gets out and opens the side door that Veronika’s car seat is on. As she does that, I silently make work of carrying our stuff into the house and to my old bedroom. As I’m heading to get more stuff, she brings in Veronika.
“Bear, we need to talk when you’re finished” she informs me seriously.
“Ok, Mama” I head out the door and hear her yell to my brother to come help me.
“Hey, Bear! Whatcha doing here?” my brother playfully asks me when he gets to the car, knowing I hate that nickname.
“Heyyyy, Oldie! I’m moving back in for a little bit.” I joke back. He groans at the much hated nickname he’s had since he was an infant. We try to carry as much as we can in this trip. I hate multiple trips back and forth to the car and he just wants to get back to playing his game in his room. We carry all the stuff to my room as my mom and grandma fawn over my baby.
“Hey, Granny” I call to my grandma as I head back into the living room so she doesn’t go into a rant about me being disrespectful, again. I sit on the chair across from her, ready to get this talk out the way.
“I know it isn’t any of my business, but what happened?” Perfect! Straight to the point.
“He said he wasn’t ready for a child and didn’t want to do it anymore.” I explain concisely.
“Do you plan on getting back with him?” My grandma asks the next question.
“Nope” I try to say as nonchalantly as I can and shrug. She looks at me suspiciously, but doesn’t say anything about it.
“Well, you and my grand baby are welcomed to stay here as long as you like” my mom gushes.
“Ok, Mama.” It’s better to say ok than to tell her that I don’t plan on being here long. It’s only 4pm and still really sunny, so I grab Nikki and her stroller to go outside to sit at the garden with her. It’s so peaceful out here. This was my favorite spot when I was little and my mom and stepdad would fight. I would sit out here for hours to get away from the horribleness of their arguments. I sit on the makeshift chair in front of the Azaleas debating what I should do next with my life. Finally I come up with a plan and get out my phone to text my brother. Three more messages come in from Ulysses. I ignore them and go to my brother’s picture.
To Zack
Can you bring me a pen and paper
He comes out five minutes later carrying what I need. I quickly jot down my plan with steps and a time frame. The sun is going down by the time I finished. I check the time. 6:34pm flashes in a white bold font on my phone. Dinner must be ready. I push the stroller to the door. The smell of jambalaya assaults my nose and my mouth waters. I open the door and notice my mom and grandma sitting at the table enjoying the meal. I wheel the stroller to my room, then go to the kitchen to make my plate. I pile my plate high with jambalaya, cornbread, and Mac and cheese. I grab a cup of kool-aid and my plate then go back to my room. I place both items on my bedside table so I can get my baby out of her stroller. With her attached to my tit, I eat my food. When she’s had her fill and had fallen asleep, I place her in her bed. I turn on the tv for background noise and pick a book off of my mini bookshelf. A few minutes later my grandma opens my door. I was so engrossed with my book I didn’t realize she was standing in my doorway.
“Bye, Bear” she says solemnly.
“Love you, Granny” she quietly closes the door back. Not wanting to stay up too late because my baby still needs to be fed and changed throughout the night, I look at my clock. 10:23pm. I plug my phone to the charger and notice 20 unread messages pop up from Ulysses. I ignore each and every one of them. Roll away from my phone and go to sleep.
