Chapter 1
ISABELLE
“Don’t try to run away from me,” he said when he caught me again and wanted to rape me. I have been spending my twentieth day in a dark room wondering how I deserved everything that is happening to me right now.
“Please let me go,” I managed to tell him through tears. He tries to rape me every day, but fortunately he still hasn’t succeeded. Day after day I fight him and push him away from me. I am lucky that he gives up very easily because otherwise his every attempt would end badly for me. I have managed to defend myself against rape so far, but I have not defended myself against beatings. He starves me, but he gives me water to drink, which is why I realized that he doesn’t want me to die.
When I thought I had managed to resist him again, I realized that was not the case. He grabbed me and forcibly started taking off my clothes. First a T-shirt, then pants, then underwear.
“Let me go,” I shouted, but this time he was very angry. I resisted him, but I didn’t have enough strength.
And then he did it. He took away my virginity.
“Isabelle, wake up,” was the sentence I heard, but I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Then I woke up and realized I had another nightmare about the worst period of my life.
I saw the worried faces of my parents, so I asked them, “What’s the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“We were worried about you. You were very restless while you slept and you looked like you had a bad dream so we decided to wake you up. Are you okay?” said my father sending me a questioning look.
“I’m fine now. I had another nightmare related to my abduction,” I replied.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” mom asked me to make sure I was okay. She has been very worried about me since my abduction. That’s why I love her so much.
“Yes, I’m sure,” I replied with a smile to assure her.
She smiled back at me. Family means a lot to me. I adore and love my parents and my younger eight-year-old sister Zoey. I know I haven’t shown it to them in a very long time, but I really love them and want them to be happy.
My abduction, which happened two years ago, when I was only fifteen, shook them badly, and when I was found, a month after I was abducted, their lives returned to normal at least a little.
My kidnapper was found and arrested, but he was not kept in prison for a long time because I did not testify. I wasn’t ready for that then, and now, even if I wanted to testify that this bastard would finally go to prison, I have a feeling that the police won’t believe me.
I never told my parents how I was kidnapped and I never told them that my kidnapper raped me. I love them too much to tell them something like that.
I also have two best friends. The two kindest and sweetest people in the world. Emma and Mia.
I never told them what happened either, but they knew I was kidnapped. No matter how many times they forced me to tell them what had happened and why I had become very cold to them I did not give in. After a while they stopped questioning me about it.
Ever since the abduction happened, I had no hope that my life would get better. I no longer hoped for the love life from the movies. Better said, I lost the desire for life.
Now I often think about suicide. I even go to the nearest bridge every day. Then I sit for a while. Sometimes it feels like I’m sitting there for hours. And when I want to throw myself off him to kill myself I remember my family and best friends. When I think about how my death would make them sad, my heart breaks.
After deciding not to kill myself after all, I go home, go to my room, and fall asleep in tears.
“Isabelle! Isabelle!” I hear my mother calling me. I seem to have wandered off. When I finally turned my attention to her, she said, “Isabelle, you’ve wandered off again. You don’t look well to me.”
“Everything’s fine mom. I just wandered off a bit. And I’m still tired, so that’s why I don’t look good to you, but I assure you that everything is fine,” I tried to convince her, but I have a feeling she still doesn’t trust me.
“If you say so, then I guess you’re right.” When my mom told me that, she and my dad started to leave my room, but then, to my regret, she turned around. When I thought she was going to ask me again if I was okay she didn’t do it. She just told me, “I also forgot to tell you I made breakfast and we’re expecting you at the table in ten minutes.” Then she smiled at me and left the room.
I am lucky that today is Saturday because otherwise she would have already pulled me out of bed telling me I will be late for school.
