Chapter 1
It was the sad old same story long ago but not quite so long ago. Or was it somewhere far off into the future but also not so far off in the past either. I could never remember, or had I just forgotten it right after it had happened. I’m unsure if I would ever know. The time was midnight or was it half past 2am. And I had been sitting there like I always had. At my aunt’s birthday party and as per the usual, I was on coat check duty. I was at that age where I was too young to make my appearance known and too old to not be in the publics eye. I thought that the situation was just silly. Now how could I be too young to be at a birthday party and too old to not be in the public’s eye view. Oh, I would get so mad just thinking about it but then I'd remember, let me stay right here where I am and then they can fetch their own coats when I suddenly disappear one day and am no longer helping them out. So, I guess that was all I was ever to them. I was just there to greet and say hello and then sit, stay there in my place, and then nod my head again and bid the guests adieu. It was such a strange foreign concept that if I thought about it so much that my head would get dizzy from thinking of all the backhanded logic that had been replaced with the common sense. That no one in their right mind would be too young and too old to be able to go to a birthday party. And then I started to ponder and realize that there was this was the same goddamn excuse for everyone especially for me trying to get a place to live, to get a job, to declare myself as an independent. That kind of thinking is very round about and at times I would have to start looking at people sideways from counting how many lies had come out of their teeth before they even started gossiping. Yes, I found it very bizarre. It was always a hundred lies. But I digress. I guess someone, and that person is me, always had to be right on time to take on the guests whenever they started to drizzle in and arrive and settles. Again, on repeat I would say the usual hellos and goodbyes and the same monologued sentence, yes hello sir or yes ma’am your ticket please. Or here are your coats, thank you and goodbye now. Almost like a dreaded answering machine on the telephone. Just waiting for response and then indicating the prompts. Just like mama and papa had taught me so while ago. I could barely remember that time now when I would be given the same acute attention as a coat checker. It was always a bedtime story and we had said our good nights. A kiss on the check to mama and papa and then returned a peck on the forehead. And off to dreamland as a child I had always went. Or was it the last time that I had seen them, it was the same but this time different we were going from a house on our way home, I’m guessing, yes, it was a birthday party. This time mama was singing a humming lullaby, I had fallen asleep, it was very warm, cozy, and safe. Then papa turned on the radio and there was our favorite song playing on the radio and it felt like home. And then there was a huge screech in the road, then a huge thud, and then everything went pitch black. And that was all that I could remember. And then I was waking up crying to my mama and papa about a horrible dream about a car crash and police sirens, and then waking up to a giant overhead light in the hospital over my face. I looked to the side, a nurse had come into view and looked at me. That’s when the doctor came in as well. I sat there numb not moving at all, I could feel the bruises on my head, I could still feel the sting on my cheek. I may have only been five, but I could already guess what the doctor was going to say. He told me, Katy, Katy dear can you hear me? He spoke. I nodded my head. Can you tell me how many fingers I am holding up? It was one finger he was holding up. I nodded my head and then tried to speak but nothing came out. The doctor turned to the nurse and said, “must still be in shock from the car accident”. The words car accident made everything fade to black, I could feel the sting of the syringe the nurse had given me. And I could hear their lowered voices as they started to leave the room and dim the light. The room going colder, as I fell deeper into a pit of darkness called sleep.
It was all I could remember of that time. It was then that my life had been a blur until this moment called the present. Even that had made it seem like time stood had still but at the same time came and went before you even knew it. What do I say when people are shocked that I tell them that I live with my cousins the Joneses and that my parents were no longer living? And then I’d have to explain to them that I help with my elderly aunt for her birthday parties, and I split my time between here and my cousins. I proceed to tell them that it was a car accident many years ago and that I barely remembered that time. But I would always remember that day. They always get quiet about it and then proceed to just pat me on the shoulder, saying my condolences. Dumfounded, I'd just nod my head like always and just say that’s quite alright I wouldn’t expect you to understand. Now that I was at the ripe old age of 17 years old, if only I could hear my parents faint goodnight and goodbyes once again. I can only imagine now that I am now in my teenage years. Oh, how I wish they were both still here, if you only had gotten a chance to see me now I would change somethings around I know I could. I sat there on the bed waiting for another coat to be checked in.
