Not A Phase

I watch as she walks in, with her usual non smiling face. Today she is dressed in a casual way. Black sweatpants, black long sleeved t-shirt and black vans old school sneakers. I know how to read her mood based on her clothes or the way she is walking. I have ‘known’ her for over a year now. She is a regular here. She comes in, orders coffee and head to the short-loans section. Most of the time she reads erotic or dark romance, thriller and horror novels, and sometimes buy them if I think they interest her that much.

Asante. Thank you. That’s her name and its meaning. I know all of the regulars’ names here and hers is no exception. I have seen her speak to at least 6 of the customers. Her voice is a bit rusty, deep and scratchy. Almost as if she has just woken up from a deep slumber. I almost jump back when I see her making her way towards my counter. I have only a few seconds to collect my thoughts and not make a joke of myself in front of this handsome specie. She is dreamy.

“Hey there, miss.” She grins at me before pinching her nose, a habit of hers.

“Good morning and welcome to Page Heaven. What would you like to drink this morning?” my voice sounds so automatic. Like an answering service of machine. She grins.

“You can drop the formalities for starters.” she licks her lips, in a sexual way. “And I would like a…”

“Iced shaken double shot with 2 almond butter muffins.” I finish her order and almost bite my tongue. Did I have to predict her order like that? Now she will think I am a creep or interested in her, which isn’t true. Or which isn’t what I would like her to think. I should just punch myself in the face, right now.

She smirks. “Ow wow. Looks like I have my work cut out for Me.” she places R100 on the counter. “Keep the change, beautiful.” She winks before walking to her usual booth in the short loans section.

She has a booth reserved here and the books she usually read are always on her table. She sits back and her eyes travel to me. With a playful look on her face, she licks her lower lip before turning her attention to her phone. She is danger. There is a huge invisible orange sign above her which states ‘DANGER, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK’. But this stupid girl who is me wants to get burned.

Come on, Thingo. Keep it together. Don’t make a fool of yourself. Deep breath. In and out. I quickly busy myself by making her drink and placing her warm muffins on a plate. I take her order to her booth. She raises her head with a smile.

“That was fast.” She comments and I smile.

“Here is your order. Enjoy. If you need anything don’t be afraid to shout.”

“That’s not my specialty, but I do like to hear people scream from time to time.”

I think this is the longest conversation I have ever had with her. It’s a usual ‘hi’ ‘still okay?’ or ‘good bye, have a nice evening.’ I never hung around her long enough for her to tell me about her likes and dislikes. But I do stalk her, you know social media stalking. So I know her favourite sport, music and all those things people post on social media. I also know she has love for art.

“Okay then. Enjoy.” I smile and head back to the counter to attend a few customers.

Morning rush comes and go. People love getting coffee and freshly baked muffins here first thing in the morning before they start their day. Those who are usually occupying the short loan booths, I once thought they don’t work, especially Asante. Until I discovered that she is a personal trainer who owns about 3 gyms. She is really fit and an eye candy. Another fact I know about her. She doesn’t have a girlfriend, or she doesn’t like posting her private life on social media because I have never seen her post a woman and write a cute romantic caption. It’s always work stuff and sometimes posting her siblings. She has many of those. I am glorified stalker. I have established that a long time ago. No need to psycho analyze me.

I have to stop myself from staring at her all the time. Really, Thingo get a grip. Your family would be so disappointed to find out that instead of working, you are gawking at lesbians. Is that part of my job description? I promise myself that this is the last time I am looking at her today. As I glance at her, our eyes meet and she winks at me before returning to her book. She has caught me. Fuck. She knows I have been staring at her. What the fuck am I going to do? How am I going to deny looking at her or daydreaming about her?

“Rainbow, the boss is calling you.” Shawn, my colleague, interrupts me from my misery and I am glad for the intrusion. He can’t pronounce my name well, so I told him to call me rainbow because that’s what my name means in English. I smile at him before heading to Daphne’s office. She is the co-owner if this shop together with Ellie but Ellie is hardly around.

“Daph, you wanted to see me.” I state, peeping on the door. She smiles.

“You asked for the afternoon off because you want to attend your daughter’s soccer match, right?” I nod. “Well then you are free to leave whenever you want. Don’t forget to cheer the loudest for the princess.” I smile widely.

“Thank you so much, Daph.” One of the good things about working for a white old lady, they are really nice and empathetic especially when you are a mother. They understand your struggles and pain.

I quickly head to the changing room and pack my bag. The match starts at 1:30 pm and it’s still 12:00pm. I decide to work for the next 30 minutes before heading home for a quick change. My life revolves around my precious angel, Anelisa. She is 11 years old and a striker at her school’s girls’ soccer team. I come from a middle class household but I made sure my daughter only gets the best. She attends one of the private schools in the area and had the freedom to pick whichever extra curriculum activity she wanted to participate in. she fell in love with soccer and I am always there to support her. Her father, well that’s a story for another day. But people should be surprised. I am a black woman. There is always a story about a baby daddy.

“Hello miss. I would like to order.” A sharp voice snaps me back to reality. Okay. That harshness was unnecessary. But how long did I zone out for?

“I am sorry for that, sir. What should I get you?” he frowns and his eyes scan the menu on the screen on the wall behind me. Look at him snapping at me while he doesn’t even know what he wants. Men.

…

“That was a great game, baby. Well done.” I hug her once more and she giggles.

“Mom come on.”

She is one modest young lady. She scored 2 of 4 goals and they won the match. Her coach says that she is going places and if she keeps in this pace, she will definitely fit in at a high school team but she also have to keep up the good work with her grades. She, somehow, finds a way to balance her life. Some Older athlete fail to do so but my daughter, at the age of 11, has almost mastered the skill of balancing out her life.

“Where do you wanna eat late lunch?” I ask as I open the passenger door for her. She smiles widely, sliding inside. She loves being spoiled. One thing her father excels in, taking her out every chance he gets. As young as she is, my daughter has been to most game parks in the province, most child friendly restaurants and even beauty spas.

“Can I please have a Wimpy burger and then we can get desert from your workplace?”

“Your wish is my command.” You must always reward a child’s hard work. Even the small victories are worth rewarding. I close the door behind her, putting her bag on the boot and heading to my seat. She is already putting on music. “No injuries I should know about, right?” she giggles and steals a glance at me.

This sneaky child once got injured during practice but didn’t tell me about it. I only found out the following game when a girl from the opposing team pushed her. She cried louder than a normal person would from a simple push. That’s when I found out that one of her team mates accidentally pushed her and stepped on her abdomen with her soccer boots. I nearly made her quit soccer because that accident freaked me out. She stayed at a hospital for a full week, recovering and it took her two weeks to get back to the field.

“I am not injured mom. We can even go to a doctor for a checkup.”

“Mmm.” She laughs.