1
1
“I think you’ll always remain in my heart as a simple reminder of what could have been if things were different for the both of us. I wish it was simple to move on and forget about you but after years of trying, my mind sometimes wanders back to you and how you’re really doing even when I know your heart isn’t healing like mine because yours was never broken in the first place. Just mine.”
Hani wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow her up and take her as far away as possible from the studio. Why you may ask? The sole purpose of her embarrassment was in the form of a piece of paper that was sitting right in the hands of her co-host, Murad.
Hani internally cringed again when she remembered that night she dropped the letter outside the studio, dazed and confused with her heart aching at the thought of someone she loved so dearly when she was eighteen. It was a drunken mistake to send the letter to the studio, she knew that, but with the liquid luck fueling her body to do the most stupidest thing she and Dilara could think of, she grabbed a piece of paper lying on the floor and began writing down the story of how Murad broke her heart.
She remembered waking up the following morning with a throbbing headache and the urge to puke her guts out until flashbacks of the night before came barreling into her mind. That morning was, in other words, full of regrets and praying to whatever was out there for her letter to be hidden under the piles of notes the studio usually receives.
However, on Monday morning while Murad was gathering the letters to read on Friday, he came across Hani’s that was signed off anonymously and to Hani’s relief, her handwriting was barely readable with how drunk she was that night. It instantly caught his eyes because no one has ever sent in a letter that didn’t scream love and being in love. Thus, on Friday night and much to Hani’s surprise, she recognised the purple envelope with her messy handwriting and she swore she would have puked at the sight of it.
Murad pouted his lips as he read the last sentence of her letter — a sight that had Hani’s heart skipping a couple of beats and her hands clammy at the thought of him ever finding out who the “anonymous” sender was. She bit her lip as a long pause passed over the studio, even Danial who was usually the most talkative out of the three of them was silenced by her letter. The quietness in the studio didn’t last very long as multiple messages began to pop up on the screen in front of both Hani and Murad.
“Well shit, I came here for a good time and now I’m heartbroken.”
“My heart goes out for anon.”
“I wonder what happened to them.”
“One sided love is the shittiest but anon, hang in there!!”
Hani watched as Murad frowned and furrowed his eyebrows at the numerous comments who told her to get over it because “they’re probably not even thinking about you anymore” which made the ache in Hani’s heart deepen, if it were even possible. Maybe, just maybe, she should ease the pain in her heart and forget that she ever fell for someone like him. But she couldn’t, and now years and a radio segment later, Hani was still very much attached to Murad and had no idea how to escape.
“Well that’s some heavy shit for a Friday night,” Danial commented, a frown also evident on his face as he scrolled through the other comments flooding in. Another one caught Hani’s eye and she prayed again that none of her co-hosts would see it. But as if the universe was against her, Danial pointed it out.
“Someone said we should go and find anon and ask them to talk about it.”
Hani whipped her head around to glare at him but Murad was already jotting down some notes on his notebook for next week’s radio show.
Find anon..maybe.
And just like that, Hani’s saliva caught in her throat and the next thing she knew, she was coughing like there was no tomorrow while Murad and Danial patted her back. There was no way in hell she was agreeing to reveal herself. If things turn out for the worst, Hani could lose her friendship with Murad and even worse, her secret would be exposed out in the open.
“Thank you for listening to today’s segment! Radio eshgh will be back next Friday,” Murad announced, still patting Hani’s back in concern. Danial passed a water bottle over to her and she chugged down the remaining liquid that was inside to tame her beating heart and shaking hands.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to find the sender of that letter. What if they don’t want to be found? We accept anonymous letters for a reason Murad,” Hani said, a tinge of desperation lacing her voice. Danial slipped out of his seat and left before an argument could break out between Hani and Murad, the head writers and hosts of the radio show.
Murad shook his head at her and picked up his notebook and jacket. Hani followed him out of the studio booth in hurried steps to catch up with him. While she attempted to smack some sense into Murad, Sana was observing the two of them from the opposite booth, a small smile playing on her lips as she shook her head. Sana was the most observant out of the people working in the studio and she knew the lingering touches and stares that Murad and Hani exchanged. She even thought the two were dating but Hain profusely denied it and she knew right then and there that Hani was hiding your feelings from him.
“I mean Murad is kind of right, I think they should find the anon who sent the letter if they want to gain more and more listeners but Hani is also right, the sender sent it anonymously for a reason,” Danial said, nibbling on some breadsticks that Sana usually hid underneath her table in case Emraan ever walked in while she was eating in his precious studio.
“I think it’s too risky,” Sana concluded as she watched Hani walk away from Murad who was barely giving her attention while she practically begged him not to pull through with his decision of trying to find the sender.
“Why would you say that?” Danial asked. Sana grinned back at him before patting his back and calling it a day.
“Just because.”
