red hibiscus

Author's note: This work is inspired by the beautiful fanart made by @mikahyuni !

1.

Katsuki can’t remember when the pain in his chest started. Maybe it was when their eyes first met –

.

.

Deep, ruby red meeting beautiful, forest green. A starry face beaming at him, a squeaky voice asking his name –

.

.

“I’ll call you Kacchan, okay?”

“C’mon, Kacchan! Let’s go play heroes!”

.

.

Or maybe it was when Deku – Izuku – stood his ground for the first time since forever, glaring at him with determined eyes. Shouting nonsense at him, stuff like –

.

.

.

“I’m not scared of you anymore!”

“I want to win and surpass you, you idiot!”

“You’re amazing, Kacchan, that’s why I want to beat you!”

.

.

Maybe it was when Izuku was fighting against Todoroki, giving it his all, using his fingers so that his Quirk wouldn’t hurt as much. Maybe it was when Izuku launched himself forward, his two bandaged, bulky arms dragging behind him, Izuku screaming his name as he was pulled into a black void, a hand tight around his neck–

.

.

“KACCHAN!!”

“Stay back, Deku –”

.

.

No. That wasn’t it. That wasn’t the night he puked up lilacs and red carnations, blood splattering on his tiled bathroom floor. That wasn’t the night he felt flowers growing inside his lungs, roots piercing his ribs, poking at his heart –

.

.

.

.

Ah. Katsuki remembers now. He remembers it all too well, the moment his world came crashing down forever burned in his memory. The way Izuku looked at Uraraka the way Katsuki looked at him, the blush blooming on both of their cheeks (Izuku looked beautiful, so, so, so beautiful), that was the moment Katsuki felt something itching up his throat, clawing at his lungs. That was the moment he ran out of the classroom, ignoring the worried shout of ‘Kacchan?’ and bursting through the men’s bathroom door and vomiting up a bouquet of bloodied flowers.

He watched Izuku’s eyes as she walked by (what a sight for sore eyes). They were brighter than the blue sky above them. He knows Uraraka has Izuku mesmerized, she’s everything Katsuki’s not. She’s an angel (but then again, Katsuki wishes she were dead). Izuku’s so helplessly in love like Katsuki is with him, and Katsuki dies a little bit inside every time Izuku lights up when Uraraka enters his line of sight.

So when Mr. Aizawa asked him if he was okay when he entered the classroom after his episode, he plastered on a fake scowl and yelled, “Of course I’m okay, do you think I’m weak or some shit?” And, obviously, he was scolded by Aizawa for his ‘language’.

Everyone can just fuck off, okay? He’s fucking dying of some shitty, weird-ass disease-quirk thing that makes him cough up fucking flowers that symbolize shit or whatever – Katsuki doesn’t give two flying fucks.

(Except he does. Katsuki doesn’t want to die. There’s so much left he has to do, first. He doesn’t want to die. Please, Katsuki doesn’t want to die).

The first person he tells is Kirishima. The redhead fucker caught him puking up stupid flowers and immediately knew what it was. Katsuki let the dumbass hug him, because they both knew he didn’t have much time left. Kirishima asked who he was in love with.

.

.

.

.

.

“So, man, who is it? Who do I have to murder?” Kirishima’s halfass joke does nothing to help the situation.

Katsuki rubs a hand over his face, grumbling. “It’s Deku.”

And god, the look of pure despair on Kirishima’s face as he says those words is almost too much for him, because even Kirishima knows that he’s done for.

.

.

.

.

.

.

The next person who figures it out is IcyHot. They happened to be alone together after training, and Todoroki being the bitch he is, confronts him.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“What’s wrong with you?” The question shatters the comfortable silence.

“Hah?” he startles. Dread builds in his stomach – but there’s no possible way Todoroki knows, but the bi-colored boy was more observant than Katsuki gave him credit for.

“What’s wrong? You’ve been acting strange lately, Bakugou, no screaming profanities like your life depends on it.”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, YOU BASTARD!?” he screams.

Todoroki doesn’t look fazed at all. “Bakugou, whether you like it or not, I do consider you my friend and I’m worried about you.”

There’s one thing Katsuki and Shoto are both horrible at: fucking emotions. They both suck shit at being openly emotional. Katsuki stares at Todoroki for a moment, before scoffing quietly and lowering his head.

“I got fucking Hanahaki, okay? I’m in love with someone who will never love me back.” His voice comes out as a hoarse whisper.

Todoroki’s face flashes with surprise. “Who?” His voice is sympathetic; it makes Katsuki want to choke on the flowers he’s puking up and die already. To get it over with.

“Deku.” he says. His eyes prick with tears. Todoroki’s eyes widen with shock, then they melt into something Katsuki doesn’t recognize. Shoto wordlessly gets up from his seat and walks over to Katsuki and wraps his arms around him in a shitty-ass attempt at a hug.

Katsuki grumbles and hugs him back. “You only live once, right? I’m dying anyway. I better hug you back while I can, so you don't cry about it later. You’re still annoying as fuck, though, remember that when I’m gone, okay? I still hate you. This hug don’t mean shit, got it, IcyHot?”

Katsuki dare-say Todoroki’s chuckle was almost fond. “Of course, Bakugou. Of course.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

Katsuki lay in bed, staring up at the popcorn ceiling with the taste of flowers in his throat. He feels his lungs constrict as roots and flowers bloom inside them. Katsuki decides that there’s only a couple of ways he’ll die:

1: of suffocation

Mostly because he has fucking roots growing in the organ that he needs to breathe, and because coughing up flowers is absolute bitch.

2: choking.

Based on how hard it is to puke up the flowers and how big they are, choking is a high possibility. (Maybe he’ll choke on lilacs. Or white carnations. Or lilies. Or marigolds. Or maybe even poppies. He hopes he chokes on Izuku’s favorite flower, hibiscus. He loves Izuku so much.)

Katsuki can feel it coming. The burst of flowers waiting to pop at the back of his throat. Izuku, Izuku, Izuku, Izuku. All he sees is green. Green eyes, green hair, green everything. He loves green. He loves Izuku.

He grabs his phone and dials Izuku. His phone rings twice before Izuku picks up.

“Kacchan?”

Oh, how can something feel so nice but kill you at the same time? It’s a wonder how the universe works.

“H-hey, nerd –” Katsuki coughs and coughs and coughs. He chokes on flowers and his throat itches and he feels blood dribble down his chin, staining his uniform and bedsheets.

“– acchan?! KACCHAN!”

Katsuki gasps, swallowing against the petals in his throat. “I’m okay, Deku. Just a –” He coughs roughly, the taste of blood on his tongue. His throat is so raw that each cough makes him bleed. “J-just a coughing fit.”

“Are you sure, Kacchan? I could come to your dorm and –”

“Deku.” Katsuki sighs, closing his eyes. His body is shaking. He’s cold as fuck, like Shoto used his Quirk on him. (He doesn’t know when IcyHot-Bastard became Todoroki and Todoroki became Shouto, it just happened). Katsuki feels the roots shifting in his body when he moves. For some odd reason, Katsuki doesn’t feel nervous about what he’s going to say next.

“I have Hanahaki,” he whispers.

The other end is quiet, and Katsuki almost thinks Izuki hung up.

“What?” comes Izuku’s breathless voice. He sounds horrified. Katsuki allows himself to chuckle, even though it hurts. Everything hurts, really. Coughing up flowers really fucks you up.

“Yeah. Just wanted you to know my cause of death.” It’s getting harder to breathe around the flowers. He heaves and gasps, bending over one side of the bed and coughing up a bunch of higanbanas. The petals and tentacles scratch at his throat, leaving it a bloody mess. God, it fucking hurt. He can barely breathe, his chest is tight and he wants to scream and shout and just let it out. But he can’t do that. Not now.

“Kacchan, I’m coming –”

“It’s you.” Katsuki wheezes out, then freezes when he realizes what he just said. He stays quiet and lets the words sink in. He takes the moment of silence to take a deep breath, closing his eyes.

Katsuki can’t say he’s shocked when a high pitched, agonized wail comes from the other end. Katsuki knows Izuku is crying.

“I’m sorry.” Katsuki says. “I’m so sorry, Izuku.”

“Kacchan.” Izuku sobs in his ear. It hurts to hear. Katsuki doesn’t want Izuku to cry.

“Don’t cry, please. I hate it when you cry.”

The sobbing increases. Katsuki can even make out what Izuku is saying now.

“Your favorite flower is red hibiscus.” Katsuki whispers.

The crying abruptly stops. He hears Izuku sniffling. “W-what?”

Katsuki smiles lazily, holding a hibiscus petal in his hand. He brings it up to his chest and places it over his heart. “It was July 15th, your birthday. You were turning 4, remember?”

Izuku’s crying again. “Kacchan –”

“And hibiscus usually blooms in mid-summer. We were in that flower field we found a couple weeks ago. You were wearing your new AllMight shirt, the one with the big ‘M’ on it. Remember?” Katsuki smiles at the memory. He remembers how excited Izuku was. How his eyes sparkled when he opened the present.

“Did you know I got you that shirt?” He hears Izuku gasp.

“You got me that shirt? That was my –”

“Your favorite shirt, I know.” Katsuki laughs and shakes his head. “I was too embarrassed to tell you that I got it for you. I remember going to the store with my mom and picking it out. I remember thinking, oh, Izuku will love this.”

All Katsuki hears is sobbing. That’s fine, as long as Izuku’s listening, that’s fine.

“Anyway, we’re at the flower field, and you tripped on the little rock. Scraped your knee. Was pretty fucking worried about you, you know. Ran over there and yelled your name. All of sudden you gasp, and I thought you were hurt. I went to kneel in front of you and you yelled –”

“ 'Stop’.” Izuku finishes. Katsuki beams. “Exactly. I was confused at first, and then I looked down to where you were staring. Then I saw it. It was a red flower, a hibiscus. Of course, I didn’t know that until you told me that it was your favorite flower. You told me that you thought it was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. I asked you why. Do you remember what you said?”

“ ’It’s the most beautiful flower because it’s the color of Kacchan’s eyes’.” Izuku said.

Katsuki laughs and grins for the last time. “Yeah, it probably didn’t mean anything to you, but when you said that, I think that was the moment I fell in love with you. I loved you even before I knew what love was, Izuku. I love you so fucking much.”

Izuku’s crying again. Katsuki's still smiling.

Katsuki opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was red hibiscus’. (His smile didn’t drop while he choked to death on the flowers. His smile didn’t drop when Izuku screamed his name on the other end. His smile didn’t drop when Izuku burst from his dorm and raced towards his room. His smile didn’t drop when Izuku dropped by his bedside, his sobs falling on deaf ears. His smile didn’t drop when Izuku tore up all the red hibiscus’ and screamed in rage and grief. His smile didn’t drop when Izuku hugged his corpse until his body went cold).

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Katsuki’s funeral was held on his birthday, April 20th. Class 1-A, Mr. Aizawa, and the parents of all the students in 1-A attended. Kaminari and Eijirou and Ashido, Hanta and Shoto, Tenya, Yaoyorozu and Kyoka, Izuku and Ochako all stood together as a couple. They all had something to say about Katsuki, and there were no dry eyes that day. The weather was very fitting, a thunderstorm.

“Loud and violent, just like Bakugou.” Eijirou said. The others nodded in agreement.

When Izuku’s turn came to say something, he stared at the sea of faces and clenched his speech in his hands.

“I remember the first time Katsuki Bakugou told me he wanted to be a hero. It was the first day we met, actually. I was three, he was four. He told me that he’d get an awesome quirk and become the greatest hero of all time. And he wasn’t wrong. A hero is anything you want it to be. Katsuki was everyone’s hero – my hero, too – even though he didn’t have a license. There are so many things that Katsuki did that makes him a hero. When Eijirou was sick, he made Eijirou his favorite meal. When Ashido’s Quirk burned her hands, Katsuki got her some cream for it. When Kaminari felt like he wasn’t good enough to be a hero, Katsuki told him that he could do anything he set his mind to. When Hanta wanted to learn how to cook, Katsuki taught him. When Shoto wanted to stand up to his father, Katsuki gave him words to do so. When Yaoyorozu was tired from overusing her Quirk, Katsuki let her borrow his heating pad and made her meals for a week straight. When Tenya had leg cramps, Katsuki gave him tips, so it didn't hurt as bad. When Kyoka needed someone to play the drums in her band, Katsuki helped her. When Ochako needed to practice her quirk on someone who could be in the air like her, Katsuki helped her with that.” Izuku swallows back a sob. Tears are blurring his vision and he can barely hear the words he’s saying. “A-and there are so many things Katsuki did for me, too. Without him, I don’t think I’d be at U.A, or getting my hero license next month. I wouldn’t be with Ochako. Katsuki shaped the person you see standing on this podium right now. He was my best friend. I have no regrets meeting Katsuki. I always thought we’d stay together forever. Best friends. But now the day has come where we cannot be together. We have gone our separate ways and I will miss Katsuki for the rest of my life. Maybe even after that. But Katsuki will continue to shine like gold in my memories, like he always has.”

With tears running down his face, Izuku placed the hibiscus he had in his hands down on Katsuki’s coffin. Then he says the words he never thought he’d say.

“Goodbye, Kacchan.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

fin.

Author's Ending note: I HOPE YA'LL CRIED SO HARD THAT YOU'RE TISSUES WERE WET AND USELESS HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA