Chapter 1
It was a continual effort to make a better life in the city of angels, and Los Angeles offered numerous changes around every corner, some greater than others, but each golden gate came at a cost. Some costs were simply too demeaning from a moral standpoint to accept. Despite their lack of abilities and professionalism in that arena, most employees had no trouble crawling down on their knees beneath their bosses’ desks for a higher position in the firm. The ones who had the talents but were too arrogant didn’t make it far in these pretentious corporations, which is why I was one of these people who refused to compromise their dignity for a pay raise. That’s how I ended up placing everything from my work desk in the box with a look that didn’t mask the annoyance that was filling my bones.
Looking up from my desk, I saw the door with my boss’s name engraved on a silver plate open, only for the old geezer to stroll out with a young woman with a silver blonde bob hairdo, her makeup a bit smeared as she smiled brightly at something the CEO of the newspaper I used to work for said.
Knowing what transpired behind closed doors made the bitter taste on my tongue make me grimace. After all, I was offered the opportunity to become the president of the newspaper company, the second executive in the hierarchy, but the cost was, to put it mildly, unconventional. The short-haired blonde appeared to be ready to pay up. If I was jealous? Absolutely not. It merely demonstrated the lack of professionalism of this prominent Los Angeles publication.
I was overjoyed to leave this position where I had spent the previous two years since receiving my bachelor’s degree in English, journalism, and management. My university professors recommended me for this high-volume newspaper enterprise. Knowing how difficult life was in this gorgeous city, everything fell into place, but as time went on, I discovered how twisted this industry was.
I slung my bag over my shoulder and picked up the box containing all of my belongings, storming out of the office without even looking at my other employees, who didn’t even take part in the minor dispute I had with my former employer. Everyone was too terrified to stand up to the hedonistic old guy with me. Losing such a well-paying job in Los Angeles was like tying a noose around your neck, and no one wanted to end up on the street, beginning again. Most people are undoubtedly terrified of starting a new chapter and closing the previous one.
I strained my eyes as I stepped outdoors into the California sun, feeling the heat of the day kiss my face. It was one of the simple joys that life still provides for free. I walked to my car, unlocked the truck, and placed my package inside before closing it. All I wanted to do was get back to my flat, take a long bath, and think things over. I was unemployed, and I needed to devise a strategy, or else I’d have to return to Oregon with my tail between my legs, like a kicked dog on the dark streets of Hollywood.
When I arrived at the apartment complex and stepped out of the car, I felt like a boulder had been lifted from my back and I could breathe easier. Walking into the apartment complex, I approached the elevator, and the journey up to the fourth story seemed to take an eternity. No surprise given that this wasn’t one of Los Angeles’ luxury five-star apartment complexes, and the elevator was older than me. At the very least, the rent was not obscene.
When I arrived at my flat, the door was open, and the first thing I noticed was my roommate Ryan in the living room, retouching some photos with his photographic equipment surrounding the coffee table.
Ryan was my roommate and best buddy during my college years, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. He was working in the photography profession and aspired to build a name for himself in this competitive field, particularly in Los Angeles.
He and I were the same age. We’re both 26 and still hunting for our aspirations in the city of endless possibilities. Ryan was the sort of man to whom you could say anything. He was any woman’s best friend since he was a wonderful listener with a humble demeanor and amazing sense of humor. He was about 6′1 tall, with a thin frame and what ladies called a baby face, covered with beautiful inconspicuous freckles that further emphasized his baby blue eyes.
The hairstyle he sported was a wavy quiff, very stylish and it went perfectly with his auburn hair color.
“You came earlier today. What happened?” He questioned, his eyes scanning me, seeing the box full of the work stuff I was holding, and a sympathetic expression crossed his face.
“I am sorry, girl... I am sure he doesn’t realize what mistake he made, but he will know now that there is none to do all his paperwork and organize everything.”
Ryan was aware of all my problems at work; after all, we were so close that we told one other everything. Sighing, I placed the box next to the couch and removed my platform shoes, which were hurting my feet. One of the issues at work was the strict dress code, which necessitated uncomfortable heels.
“That old geezer can go to hell for all I care. I am just happy to have this job off my back.” I commented, letting my long frosty blonde hair out of the tight bun that was giving me a headache. Another rule was that ladies with long hair keep their hair in high buns. Everything seemed ludicrous.
Ryan chuckled at my exasperated look as he sat down on the carpet in a cross-legged position in front of me.
“If you want, after lunch we can look together for a new job. I got takeout from our favorite restaurant and it’s enough for both of us.” His proposal was endearing, something I always appreciated about him. He was constantly concerned about others before himself.
“Thank you, but I am not sure,” I told him honestly, fidgeting with the silver rings on my fingers.
“What do you mean?” Ryan asked, a look of contemplation on his face by the words that left me.
“I am sick and tired of all this industry, and if I have to work one for time for a director who has no professionalism, I will go nuts.” The prospect of having to look for a new job with slime bastards for CEOs made me want to puke, not to mention how hypocritical some could be. They thought that only because they have a high position in a company they could do what they wanted... and sleep with each female co-worker.
I wasn’t being a prude here. I understood the urge for sexual freedom, but it amazed me how two-faced guys could be; spending a fantastic night with a woman, only to denigrate her the next day because what? She had a fantastic time with him. It was just impolite!
Then there was the issue of authority. If a woman did not sleep with her boss, she would not be able to advance in the specific area, despite being highly competent at what she does, and I am not referring to her spreading her legs. So many high-potential ladies were all shadowed by those who were more than willing to jump in bed for an extra increase.
“If you don’t want to look for another job... What do you plan to do?” Ryan asked as his attention was fully on me.
“Never thought about it... Maybe I will start my own magazine so I don’t have to deal with arrogant bosses who think that only because they have a dick they can rule the world.” Everything was said with sarcasm, arms crossed over my chest and I looked out the window in contemplation, wondering if going back to Oregon to my parents was an option.
“You know... That’s actually an amazing idea!” I looked with wide eyes at Ryan who was smiling with assurance at me.
“I wasn’t serious, you know,” I muttered, the idea of being the director of a publication seeming surreal.
“Why not? You will be your own CEO, you won’t have to deal with perverted superiors and you will do what you love. I say it’s a win-win.” He put the pros on the silver platter, which were pretty attractive and tempting to achieve.
“That’s anyone’s dream, but publishing a magazine isn’t something to be done overnight. There is so much to involve in this plan; the type of magazine, what it will contain, and most importantly... the price of publishing a magazine. There are many costs.” I explained, trying to keep a certain realism to this situation.
Both of us were deep in thought, almost considering this insane idea that simply felt like a childish dream without a stable structure.
“I might have a solution for the material publishing part. Come on... How about you take a shower, freshen up and we have lunch. I will give a few calls and see if we can solve something.” He appeared excited about what he was planning as if he already had a strategy in his brain. I was prepared to interrogate Ryan, but the thought of a shower and lunch was something I desperately needed, especially after this insane morning that had emotionally swamped me.
“Fine. I was planning to have a long shower anyway.” I grumbled, getting up from the couch and walking toward the bathroom.
“You are such a grumpy cat!” Ryan commented, laughing at my grinch face.
Entering the bathroom, I started to pull off my clothes, feeling how sticky my skin was from the California scorching sun. The moment I stepped into the cold shower, a heavy sight left my lips, and my eyes closed as I basked in the low temperatures of the water. I don’t know how long I stayed like that under the freezing spray of the shower, just contemplating my life. Maybe ten minutes, maybe half an hour. All I knew was that the options were limited.
My whole life I lived in a small town in Oregon, just leading a normal life, and most of my high school friends remained around that region, just leading mediocre lives, all because they were too comfortable to start anew. I wasn’t like that, even though my mother assured me that no matter what happens I will always be welcomed back to stay with them. Oh, how easy it would be to live on my parents’ back, but that was one of my top principles: not depend on anyone. The moment I finished high school, I left to go to Los Angeles to college with the determination to do it big. Never once was I on the brink to give up, and sure as hell I wouldn’t do it now.
Opening my eyes, I smoothed back my light blonde hair, proceeding to clean the layer of sweat off my body, scrubbing down my skin, and then cleaning my hair. After I was done, I quickly dried up, wrapping a towel around my body then moving to my bedroom, starting to put on a set of fresh clean clothes. After that I exited the bedroom and went to the kitchen where Ryan was, pulling out the food from the paper bag.
“We have Chinese today! And the dessert was on the house since we are loyal clients.”
“Nothing is better than free dessert.” I joked with an amused smirk curling on my lips, knowing what a big sweet tooth my roommate had.
“You know it!” He beamed, both of us just sitting at the table and proceeding to eat.
“So, do tell me what is the big plan that you have,” I said as I opened the lid to the box that contained the rice with veggies and chicken.
“My cousin owns an old publishing house in Los Angeles. The place is pretty much deserted and abandoned. He bought it with the plans to turn it into a restaurant, but he changed his plans, and now he doesn’t use it for anything at all.” He explained as he stuffed his mouth with the savory Chinese cuisine.
“Aaaaaand? Even if we use that place for let’s say... starting our publishing company to make that magazine... Do you have any idea how expensive this printing machine is?”
“The machines are fully functional! I just talked with him... All we need is that special magazine paper and the ink, basically the products to make the magazine physical.” He informed.
“And where do we get money for all that?” I questioned, tapping the chopsticks, a little impatient to see where this plan would take us.
“You told me once that you have 10,000 dollars put aside for urgencies... I have around 5000 too... I think we can do something.” He suggested, only for my eyes to widen. Yes, we took the capital economy part of our lives seriously, and we weren’t the type to spend money around like it was none’s business. This however was a big deal. It was all the money we saved.
“Ryan... I don’t know what to say. I truly appreciate that you want to help me, but that’s a lot of money, all of our money... and if things don’t turn out well, I don’t want you to regret it. You still have a good job that pays well, and all that money you saved, you worked hard for it.” I knew Ryan was the daredevil type but this was on a different level of insane.
I recall all the extra hours we stayed to work to earn more money, all our weekends enveloped in our careers. Our life was basically working, eating, and sleeping. We didn’t have a personal life.
“Britney... Look... I know it’s risky, but seriously now. Do you want to spend all of your life working under assholes who think that only because they are bosses can do whatever they want with their employees? Don’t get me wrong... Photography is something I loved since I was a child, but it starts to get tiring to stay day and night at events full of pretentious personalities. It pays a lot more than I could hope, but to be treated like inferiority is just nauseous.” His confession made me feel his emotions, which were much on the same wave as mine. Both of us were tired to be treated like a piece of bubblegum on the sole of someone’s boots.
“You know the saying... Without risk...”
“... there is no winning.” I finished, nodding and gazing at the half-empty container of food, a deep silence falling between us as we slowly eat our food.
“You know what... Let’s do this!” I said with a tone of finality that made a bright grin stretch across Ryan’s face.
“Sweet!”
After finishing our lunch, we took Ryan’s car and drove through Los Angeles, our destination being his cousin’s deserted publishing house. It was a two hours drive there with the scandalous traffic in this big city. The moment I stepped out of the car and looked at the building, I wondered if it was a good idea. The outside looked like it has been trapped in time, save for the many graffiti that decorated the brick walls.
Ryan’s cousin, Mark was waiting for us in front of the building. It wasn’t highly immense and considering its condition, none would bother to buy or rent it, especially in this neighborhood that looked like it was abandoned.
“Good to see you, Ryan!” Mark waved to Ryan, the two sharing a brotherly hug then turning to me.
“And you must be, Britney.” I nodded, smiling politely, the first time meeting Mark.
“So... Can we see the inside?” Ryan asked to which his cousin chuckled.
“That’s why you came here after all.” He said as he unlocked the front door, opening it and all three of us stepped inside. Mark turned on the lights which surprisingly still worked. The moment the old neons above turned on, my eyes widened at what was inside. It had everything a publishing house needed, save for the layers of thick dust and the cobwebs.
“I know it’s not the Hollywood glamour but everything works,” Mark said, letting us inspect the place.
“And how much is the cost of everything? I am sure you won’t let us use this place all for free.” I questioned, checking one of the printing machines, plugging it into the electrical outlet, and pressing the on button. The machine turned to life, the sound of gears filling the silence of the building.
“It’s alive!” Ryan yelled, trying to imitate the crazy scientist from the Frankenstein movie, making me and Mark laugh.
“It’s for free use.” I turned to Mark with wide eyes, not believing what he said.
“You’re joking.”
“Take it as a family deal. Ryan is my family and he told me how close you two are so... You are part of this family too... besides I don’t have any use for this place. None wants to rent it or buy it. At least you two could bring something out of this tomb.” Mark explained, throwing the keys of the building at me, which I quickly caught, still surprised by everything that was perspiring.
“This shall be an interesting chapter of our lives,” I whispered with a positive smile on my face.
After visiting the building where our magazine will be published, I and Ryan went back to our apartment.
“Now that we have the place and equipment, we need to establish what type of magazine we should do,” I said as I hung my purse on the hook in the hallway, pulled off my shoes, and went into the living room, slumping on the couch with a thoughtful look on my face.
“Good question. How about a pet magazine?” Ryan’s suggestion made me look at him with a poker face that silently said in hope that he was joking.
“What? People love pets. You know, cute kittens and these purse dogs that the Beverly Hills divas sport like accessories.” He joked, only for me to throw a pillow at his face, then rubbed my palms down my face, ripping my brains out about the topic this magazine will be about.
“We need some that will sell... and I doubt people will buy that, considering the internet is full of pictures and articles with cats and dogs,” I commented, opening the laptop on the coffee table and browsing through the different magazines that are currently on vogue, trying to pin-point what was selling, what was in trend. It was hard to see what the market public desired. The competition was burning and we were having pretty much one attempt to kick it on the bestseller. It was either do it big or go home... in Oregon.
Looking all over the most popular magazines that were selling at this time, I couldn’t help but see something of similarity; gorgeous people in provocative clothing, juicy titles with sexual innuendos. I cursed when am advertising window opened, only to stop mid-way, ready to close the new window on the laptop. It was some cheap advertising about a porn site and the words written in red caught my attention.
“Porn will never die,” I whispered, making Ryan almost choke on his lemonade, coughing violently.
“Excuse me?! Where did that come from?” He questioned, tears forming at the corner of his eyes as he attempted to control his fit of coughs.
I couldn’t help but giggle at his dumbfounded expression. “What is the biggest industry that sells? Pornography.” I stated.
“So you want to start a porn magazine?” Ryan questioned with an amused look, running his hand through his auburn locks, trying to understand where I was going with this suggestion.
“Not exactly porn. I don’t want all that vulgarity without good taste. I am talking about something more... on the erotic side, with a bit more elegance and style.” I explained, turning the laptop for Ryan to see all the magazines in this genre.
“Most of these magazines speak about celebrities and all that scandal, but I don’t want that. I am not looking to destroy someone’s reputation and make them appear as a bad woman or guy. I want something more... innovative, intellectual.”
“Inovative and intelectual. How can you make something pornographic seem academic?” Ryan asked, sitting down with me, trying to picture with me an exact topic for the magazine.
“Like... Like a sex educational magazine. We can have articles about the more unspoken side of sexual life... The BDSM side that people seem to misunderstand, the sexuality topic, we can even make a rubric with emails from our readers, all anonymous asking us advice about the intimate relationship topics... and I was also thinking about something else.” Ryan listened to each word I spoke, taking in the ideas for the visionary and taboo magazine I was planning.
“Something else... What?”
“Men.”
“Men?” He was puzzled, and candidly, I found it cute. Ryan wasn’t the most openly spoken when it came to the sex topic.
“Most adult magazines have women on display... Sexualizing them. I am not saying it’s a bad thing, but what if we use male models. Nude.”
“You want to put naked men into the magazine!?” He asked, bewildered by my daring and bold idea.
“Yeah! Why not? I think it’s a win-win for both men and women. Not only females can become sex symbols and make fortunes from it... Men can too... and it will be a chance to show that both can do the same thing and be a positive revolution of sexuality. Nothing to be ashamed of.”
“It’s a crazy idea, Britney... but I mean... I honestly have no idea for anything else... So if you think you can handle writing about sex stuff and all that BDSM... Because I am clueless as hell on that topic. I can help you with photographs, future photoshoots, design of the magazine, but on the writing part...that’s your domain.” I chuckled at his words, knowing how shy he could get on this taboo topic.
“We got a deal then,” I said, getting up from the couch and walking towards my bedroom.
“If you need me I will be in my bedroom, working on the magazine.”
After that conversation, one month went by fast as the lightning with me deep into the creative process of the magazine, writing the first topics and articles. Most were about intimacy, how to spice up relationships that came to a dead end in the bedroom, practical ideas about the first date and courting, and so on. Of course, there was also the section with the more taboo topic, and that was the BDSM Outlook where I wrote with details about how this works; about domination, what a true dominant is, the submissive part of the dynamic, and how these two work together beautifully as one. I only left the bedroom to eat and shower, and being jobless was a good part because I could focus entirely on the essence of the magazine.
The nicest part was that I had Ryan in the picture department; a magazine required images, and we discovered some very reasonably priced photos to utilize for our first publication together. It was unpleasant at first to browse through images of naked male models, but after a week, it became something usual, routine.
Searching through a color combo for the magazine, we found something that screamed elegance and eroticism; black pages with white wording that gave off that sophisticated simplicity, and titles in a cursive style with a striking red color for passion, then the bold gold accents that were the symbol of prosperity, revenue, riches.
It wasn’t easy, and I lost count of all these sleepless nights working on this saucy project.
“Now we need a picture for the cover,” I spoke, yawning and rubbing the sleep from my eyes, seeing out the window that it was well past dawn, the darkness starting to cover Los Angeles.
“Britney... We had looked over all these photo stocks, and you said no to each one. I swear if I have to look at one more nude dude I will go crazy.” Ryan was exasperated, putting a pillow over his face. For the past three or four hours we had rummaged through the piles of photos we could use for the magazine cover, but nothing seemed to spark an interest.
“I swear you’re too pretentious.” He muttered into the pillow.
“I’m just trying to find something unique, like a trademark, something that you see every day, but when you see it, the public will have our magazine in mind.” I tried to explain, only for my roommate to put the pillow aside and give me a final look. “Make up your mind now or I will burn all these photos.” He grumbled, getting up from the couch, and accidentally knocking over one of his files with photos, making the pictures all fly over the living room carpet.
He sighed and rubbed his forehead, getting on his knees and starting to pick up the photos.
“Sorry... Maybe it was a mistake to get down into this rabbit hole.” I apologized, starting to feel guilty for dragging Ryan into this mess.
Walking over to help him pick up the photos, one, in particular, caught my attention, and I felt instantly mesmerized. Noticing my frozen state, Ryan looked with puzzlement at me.
“Hey? What’s the matter?” He questioned, seeing me deeply absorbed in one of the pictures.
“I think I found what I was looking for,” I whispered, taking in the black and white photo that had a handsome man with lean and toned muscles on display, that ivory skin only getting a stronger contrast by the attire he was sporting. Over his torso, he was wearing a black leather chest harness, and lower the black slacks that hugged his thick-looking thighs. Around his neck, he was wearing the collar of a white button-up, accessorized with a black tie, and around his wrists were the cuffs of the dress shirt.
What intrigued me was the black cat mask that covered the upper part of his face, letting his drop-dead sexy smirk on display. The model had a stark black faux hawk with shorter sides; the hairstyle in a spikey mess that gave him a rebellious air to the sophisticated attire. The black bull whip he was holding with his hands screamed BDSM! It was perfect, and the fact that I didn’t want to let go of the picture only proved this.
The sexy cat details on his costume gave me the perfect symbol of this magazine and a logo!
“I think I just found my inspiration,” I purred with a confident smirk.
