Pages of a Notebook

“We can heal. Perhaps we can return to that same place we once stood, when we were both young and innocent.”

- Marie Lu

Her world had turned upside down. It didn’t happen overnight, it was gradual and something in her knew that it was coming. But what she didn’t know was the amount of lessons those two weeks’ worth of experiences was going to teach her. The aftermath of that fortnight was hard, and she’s learning lessons even today. “Ignorance is bliss” her mother had often told her, but she realized the true value of that phrase only then.

Life lessons always came with a price, and hers was innocence. According to society, it was simply an event that conjured up gossip for a while before dying out. Granted, the gossip was one of the biggest and long-lasting, but it was gossip nonetheless. Only she knew how much it changed her, and how much pain she went through in order to accept the change.

That event had scarred her, and she knew. It had scarred her because those two weeks were the breaking point, the period it took for her to realize how much she had been mistreated all her life by the very people she loved and adored. The worst part? She was left to fend off by herself.

She broke from the inside every day, trying to seem normal. It took her over a year to fully piece herself together, this time without the façade. Now she stands as a braver, stronger and more mature woman. Now her character comprises of memories that make her laugh and cry, love for herself and the people around her, unspoken words, dried tears, and the act of forgiving.

She knew the only way to redeem herself and to become at least a small part of who she used to be was by forgiving. So, she forgave every person, every situation and most importantly, she forgave herself. She forgave herself for all the mistakes she made, just so that it wouldn’t scorch her from the inside. She hoped life would get better after that and sure enough; happiness filled all the voids in her heart. And it was only because she let time do its magic. She let time do the healing, thus healing herself.

///////////////////

A/N: So this is something I wrote at the start of lockdown, where I was reminiscing about a bad time. It was also the first time I discovered I could write, and then there was no looking back.

I hope this reached out to at least some of you. Remember, you aren’t alone. We are all here for you, with you.

Take care. All the love and more, Madhuu <3