Coupling

Sometime in the past, before the present made its presence felt...

Natasha climbed down from Alex’s body and let out a loud playful sigh. They were out of breath and breathed in through their mouth, the perspiration from their bodies dripped on to the cheap bed sheet. They turned their heads towards each other at the same time and noticed a sheepish grin that was developing on their faces. Their bodies ached and they were tired and exhausted from the intense physical workout that had lasted close to 30 minutes. But this wasn’t like any other work-out that you did; people actually looked forward to this one. Only sex could make you feel this way. Love wasn’t necessary for its enjoyment as long as both partners wanted it…wanted each other. But they had that other thing too in their lives…yes, love! They were lovers. Lovers who wanted each other too! What could top this? Nothing! And when there’s no more path to move forward, you begin the descent downwards.

Natasha popped up on to her side by supporting her weight on her left elbow and ran her long slender fingers through Alex’s light tufts of chest hair.

“What are you thinking about?” Natasha cooed in a flirty low pitched voice.

Alex turned his head to her side and raised an eyebrow at her, his lips curling up in a smirk as he readied his reply.

“What are we playing? Let’s ask the most clichéd questions after sex game?”

Natasha stretched her arm and poked him in his ribs playfully and Alex let out a howl as he clutched his sides in mock pain. He turned to her side and tried to do the same to her but Natasha was quick to evade his roving hand. A large thread of long brown hair fell across her face as she did this. Natasha’s natural hair color was a good dark shade of black but brown had been her hair color for the past one month. For the most part of 9 years that Alex had known and loved Natasha, he had seen her hair in its natural state only, but of late he noticed some changes. She had become more experimental, trying out different hairdos and even coloring it occasionally. Natasha had always loved growing her hair long and would get downcast if anyone even suggested cutting it short. But these days she sported a shorter crop at the back, with some artificial curls and bounce added to the sides. It gave her head a full figure and made her appear older than her age of 28 years.

Alex looked into his lover’s eyes. Their breathing levels had come back to its normal state, so had the chemical secretions in their blood stream that had temporarily uplifted their moods. Their bodies were returning back to normalcy, otherwise known as reality. It’s something Alex always had a problem with. Reality.

Alex leaned over and kissed Natasha on her mouth. It was a quick peck. Too light perhaps, his lips leaving no sooner than it touched hers. He hesitated as he looked into her eyes again. He knew he was supposed to say something here. But nothing worthwhile came to mind.

“I love you.”

He settled for this instead.

It was Natasha who smirked this time hearing his comment.

“Which game is this again? What all men say after coming...?”

Suppressing a smile that came from deep within, Alex took hold of the fleshy part of Natasha’s inner left thigh between his two fingers and pinched her. Natasha screamed out loud, part in pain and part play acting.

This was their life. This had become their routine. They felt completely at ease when joking around and distracting themselves with fun and games. But when the games got over they always felt like they needed to talk about it. Their future. Marriage. But they didn’t. For that would involve sitting down, opening up and being vulnerable about what they wanted from life. They avoided all such activities that would hurt the other. Or perhaps it was their own momentous well-being that mattered the most. They had 9 years of shared life experience to prove that. Both were adamant with what they wanted and both weren’t willing to give up on their wishes. So they decided without really deciding that it was better not to discuss it now. But for how long can you hold out? Sooner than later every heart had to have what it desires the most!

Alex got up from the mattress on the floor and headed towards the kitchen that was right across the room which was also his bedroom. It was in fact one large hall that extended between the two outer walls of the apartment. There were only two such apartments in his apartment building and both were situated on the fourth floor of the sixteen floor tower. These weren’t originally built as studio flats. But the client who bought a couple of apartments, one on the fourth floor and the other on the fifth floor, on bank loan, had grand plans of converting it into a duplex. A lot of construction happened, some walls were knocked down, new walls were built and then one day when the sun arose in the horizon the poor owner did not wake up from his sleep. He died, heart-attack they claimed - through systematic poisoning of his body through long term consumption of an herbal concoction made by a local quack doctor. Ironically, it was taken for the purpose of strengthening his heart and liver. Legal hurdles followed because of the unpaid dues on the mortgage. The surviving family washed their hands off this liability forcing the bank to put the two 2 bedroom apartments for sale as three separate apartments. Two single bedroom apartments on the fourth floor and one two bedroom apartment on the fifth floor.

Alex simply was at the right place at the right time. He was in the bank trying to get a house loan to move into a place of his own because after staying at his parents’ house for 28 long years, he felt like he had overstayed his welcome. His parents hadn’t complained but he felt that it was finally time to leave the nest. Since it was a single room flat and also because they were trying to get rid of it quickly, Alex got a great deal on the flat and he signed the loan papers immediately. The initial enthusiasm soon wore away, not because of the lack of space, Alex never cared for that, he wasn’t materialistic and didn’t own a lot. In fact other than his expensive laptop, and a couple of essentials he owned to make cooking and cleaning easier, everything else he owned could be replaced in a day. What gnawed away at the enthusiasm of living alone was the burden of repaying the loan every month. Regular and steady income was always an issue with his chosen profession. He was a writer, a published author no less, but he mostly relied on odd freelance writing jobs to support himself. A royalty check came his way every six months from his first and only published book. That check ensured that he could enjoy a good dinner out in a fancy restaurant in Kochi city. Every six months. Alone. That too without any dessert. The morning after were the hardest. But in spite of all that he somehow managed to pay all the bills on time. That ‘somehow’ was Natasha who had taken over paying off his utility bills on time years ago because Alex couldn’t be bothered with remembering the due dates of the various bills. In the beginning, Natasha merely reminded him but when that didn’t seem to have any effect she decided to take control. Alex still doesn’t know this; he probably thinks he has been getting free electricity, telephone and broadband in his flat for the last 4 years. And during this period, Natasha has spent a lot of hours in his apartment, but never a whole day. She usually drops by in the evening after her office and on some occasions she spends the night. But Alex always found excuses to get rid of her after a few hours. These ranged from the simplistic ones like – she being there would affect his writing, to preposterous ones like – too much of a good thing would affect their relationship!

Alex’s single room flat was so small that you really couldn’t lose anything in here even if you tried extra hard. Privacy was another big issue. Not so much for Alex who didn’t mind walking around the apartment the whole day in his birthday suit unflinchingly and unapologetically. But Natasha minded and she used the bathroom to change clothes, otherwise Alex would keep staring at her and make her uncomfortable. He knew Natasha was still prudish about changing in front of him even after all these years of knowing each other. And just to make her uncomfortable he would stare at her in an obnoxious manner. It was as they say, for fun’s sake.

But the solace that the small bathroom provided didn’t last too long as one day Alex took off the tower bolt from inside and now the door couldn’t be locked from inside. Alex would then barge in whenever Natasha was taking a shower pretending to need her help for the many random doubts that suddenly sprouted in his mind. These doubts ranged from which restaurant they should have lunch later, to taking her help in solving an arithmetic question because he couldn’t do it on his own. Needless to say Alex who was averse to taking daily showers started showering more, as long as Natasha was there to give him company. She protested at first but then didn’t because she too appreciated the company. But all this appreciation business was a long time ago. Last month when Alex tried to join her, she said no, perhaps a little too quickly and a little too sternly. There was no particular reason for such a response. Natasha reacted unapologetically and Alex didn’t say anything back either. He left quietly and he never bothered her again while she was in the shower. Natasha felt bad about the incident, that day itself and every day since then, but she also did not do anything about it.

“You know I hate it when you smoke. Then why do you still do it? And will you please put something on. I don’t know anyone who walks around naked as much as you do!” Natasha said to Alex, when she saw Alex return from the kitchen with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips.

“First of all. I like its taste. An odd reason, I agree. But I like it. I like the smell, the aftertaste... And if the nudity bothers you that much...I will wear something.”

Alex put on a pair of shorts that he found lying on the floor.

“But I am the one who has to kiss that mouth afterwards.”

“Well...you could always kiss somewhere else...” Alex put his index finger on his chin as he tilted his head up and pretended to think deeply. Natasha threw a pillow at him in mock disgust which he quickly deflected with his hand but the pillow ricochet off the desk and knocked down the books that were on it.

“Hey! Be careful now. These books are my only possessions. Still a struggling writer!”

“Maybe I should look for someone new then?” Natasha blurted out in her usual quick wit style but as soon as she said it, she regretted it.

They had a big argument just last night when Alex brought up Natasha’s big money spending habits. These big money spending habits included buying groceries for Alex and refilling his fridge with the essentials. She was only trying to make his apartment resemble more like a normal home. But Alex didn’t see it like that; he wasn’t a big fan of change. Gradual or otherwise. And like almost all arguments that start out innocent enough and then quickly transform into an ugly fight, this one did too. Alex called Natasha arrogant for earning more than he did. It was factually correct, she was one of the founding partners of a top level accounting firm in the city, she earned more than Alex who was still struggling financially in spite of recently having signed a contract with a new publisher for his new novel. But Natasha had never thought or behaved as he had insinuated and was hurt by his words. You couldn’t call this a skill but Alex always knew what to say and when to say it to hurt someone. Although their lifestyles were vastly different from one another money had never been a problem between them, but of late that too had become a reason over which they fought easily.

“I’m sorry... I didn’t mean anything else...” Natasha tried to downplay her last comment.

Alex didn’t reply and instead blew a thick wad of cigarette smoke in her direction.

“It is okay. It was a joke, right? Clearly a joke. Everyone loves a good joke.” Alex’s response when it finally came was emotionless. Natasha got up from the mattress after wrapping a sheet around her body and approached him. She stopped as she got near him. Natasha looked into her lover’s eyes, but she felt like she couldn’t read the eyes that were staring back at her. She stood in front of him for a couple of seconds; she knew she was supposed to say something here. But she just couldn’t make up her mind.

“I love you.”

So she settled for this instead.

Alex reached out with his right hand and stroked her left cheek with his fingers as he stared at the wall behind her absentmindedly.

“Yeah...I love you too.”