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A Man

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Summary

This is my first time writing pretty much anything this long. I'd like tips on how to improve if you can offer any. This is a story that I'll build chapter by chapter, meant to be a story straight from my consciousness and whatever influences it, be it you. But that doesn't mean I intend to make it unconcise and random; I just think it'll be more unique than just basing it off of a predefined standard for a genre. After writing the first few chapters I began to realize the closest genre it would fall into, and that would be a Kafkaesque/Esoteric Sci-fi. This is the first chapter tell me if you lie it, or how I can improve. Two other chapters are being edited right now

Genre
Other,Scifi
Author
Timothy
Status
4yrs ago
Chapters
1
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
16+

Era 1: Malignant Complacency

A man wakes up

He yawns as he performs his morning stretch, looking around to his one room apartment, only his eggshell white walls and practical metal bed frame in view.

A man has no furniture, no hobbies and no decorations. Some may judge him for it, but doesn’t care enough to have anything but the basic necessities in his life. For he knows his schedule will always be the same and that he doesn’t have to think or make any decisions if it stays that way. He longs for nothing more or nothing less, because he feels that no more and nothing less is needed; therefore not worth wanting or stressing over. No ambitions, no fears, and therefore no worries in his life. His life is inert and he finds comfort dying this way; alone, without purpose and without any further accomplishments. He knows he can do much more in life, but he finds beauty in stagnation. This is the life of A man; he wouldn’t trade it for another.

A man gets up to look outside of his only window, to see a clean alleyway just as he expected there to be. Looking at the sun rise up, positioned directly in between two buildings, right where he thought it should be.

The delivery boy, Asmodeus, weaving in and out of traffic to give people their news. Old Lady Alonya screaming at the younger children to leave her planted pots alone. The daily thought patrol making sure we have pure and safe thoughts. The neighborhood cats being fed by Borislav the hotdog stand owner.

The men in suits hastily rushing to make it to work on time.

Everything was as it should be and no deviation has been formed

Though A man feels an indescribable pressure in his room. He's never felt anxiety this way, he’s heard people describe feeling pressure but he always thought it was metaphorical. He starts to feel uncomfortable when his skin gets slightly heavier, and the air becomes denser.

A man slowly turns around from looking at his window, and he finds a confusing figure, a being without form or logical shape.

He understands he’s looking at something, he just can’t fully comprehend what. He seems to experience the form with all of his senses at once, with several additional senses he never knew existed.

The figure suddenly seems to move in multiple planes of thought, making A man experience a concept. He comes to the conclusion that this is The figure’s way of communicating with him.

He begins to comprehend that The figure is telling him he’s committed a great sin, and that The figure will punish him for it. For the first time in his life, the feeling of uncertainty, confusion and immense dread washes over his body. His mind races wondering what he could have done to deserve such transcendent punishment.

While panting and crying, he realizes he cant move and that his fate is out of his control, he has become a slave to unpredictability.

The world around him melts physically and mentally. As he sees, all at once, the whole of time at every single point in space; at the view of every single atom, particle and photon. He sees what he could only explain as the entire future, the entire past and the entire present at the same time. He feels complete awe, terror and confusion so quickly that he can no longer even cry, laugh or express any human emotion. What he’s experiencing goes beyond what a human being can express in any format of communication to ever exist and ever will in any civilization, of corporeal or incorporeal essence.

A man is experiencing complete non-existence,

While existing

Let Timothy know what you thought about this chapter!
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Funny

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Spicy

Suspenseful

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Suspenseful

Emotional

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Emotional

Profound

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Profound

Heartwarming

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Heartwarming

Shocking

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Shocking

Good Writing

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Good Writing

Compelling Plot

1

Compelling Plot

Great Character

2

Great Character

Strong Dialog

2

Strong Dialog

author

I’m Rosella, a comic artist who loves working with writers to turn their stories into compelling visual narratives. I recently read your work and was really impressed your storytelling is so vivid and emotionally resonant, it felt like I was already seeing it unfold as a comic. I’d be really excited to collaborate with you on adapting it. My process is very collaborative, making sure your story stays authentic while evolving into an illustrated format. If you're interested, I can share some of my past work so you can see if my artistic approach fits your story. Feel free to contact me on Discord ([rosella_terry78]) or another platform of your choice.

a year

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