Chapter 1
I wake up at 5 am, "TGIF," I say. I sit on the side of my bed, still half asleep. My long hair, white and gray blue-eyed ragdoll cat Demi meows, crawling on top of my lap; I pet her softly.
"Good morning Demi; I have to go to work today," I yawn.
She looks at me, purring softly, her big bright eyes causing me to smile. I sit her next to me, standing up. I take the wedgie out of my pink panties and head to the bathroom. I look in the mirror, admiring my beautiful butterscotch complexion. People usually can't tell if I'm afro-latinix, black, or south Asian. Before I shower, I brush my dark brown 2c wavy hair up in a tight bun. I use my youth to the people skincare products.
She looks at me, purring softly, her big bright eyes causing me to smile. I sit her next to me, standing up. I take the wedgie out of my pink panties and head to the bathroom. I look in the mirror, admiring my beautiful butterscotch complexion. People usually can't tell if I'm afro-latinix, black, or south Asian. Before I shower, I brush my dark brown 2c wavy hair up in a tight bun. I use my youth to the people skincare products.
After my shower, I put on my clear contacts, making my dark brown eyes seem slightly brighter. Even though I'm not a child, if I wanted, I could easily pass for 19. Especially with the way teens' bodies are developed nowadays.
I'd just be an overdeveloped 19-year-old girl. I walk back into my sky blue modern bedroom decorated with white accents. I put on my orange loose-fitting blouse and tuck it in my beige khakis to showcase my hourglass frame gently. I put my gym clothes and lunch in my bag.
"I'll see you later, Demi, be nice to our apartment," I laugh, walking away from her. I turn off all the lights, grab my keys, and head to my car.
"I'll see you later, Demi, be nice to our apartment," I laugh, walking away from her. I turn off all the lights, grab my keys, and head to my car.
I blast music in my car while telling myself my daily mantra as I drive. I believe in myself and my abilities. I love myself unconditionally. I know the power of my self-talk and choose uplifting thoughts and positive actions. I repeat this to myself daily; I smile coming into the parking lot of my job. I swipe my pass smiling at the security officers, "Good Morning, men," I say, handing them coffee I picked up along the way.
"Gorgeous face, body, and a kind heart. How could we ask for any better, Fia," Arthur, the oldest paunch belly security officer, says to me.
Arthur has worked at the Brawson company since before I was born. I gently smile at him, "Awe, stop. Flattery will get you everywhere, Arthur." The rest of the officers smile, letting others in. He laughs as I walk away to the elevators.
Jenna gets on the elevator with me; she rolls her eyes, "Fia, so we are an orange today?"
I chuckle nervously, "Orange? Oh, my shirt. I thought it looked rather nice, don't you?"
"No, I honestly don't. You look ridiculous; I can't believe Logan even likes you. He could have anyone he wanted on the marketing team, and he chose you. I guess guys really do only care about big ass and titties," she laughs, rolling her eyes and getting off on the third floor.
"Fia! My office now!" Someone yells from behind me. I hang my shoulders low, slowly turning around to see Logan.
I sigh, "You scared me. What's up?" I follow him into his office and sit across from him.
He interlocks his fingers. I stare at the tall, slender man before me. Logan could easily bat his baby blue eyes and long brown eyelashes with a Hollywood smile and face to match to get any girl he pleased. Of course, everyone wants the black man with natural blue eyes, but he has set his sights on me from day one, and I welcomed the attention.
"Sorry for the dramatics. How was your drive-in? I didn't mean to just leave abruptly last night," he sighs. But he always does. He would have sex with me and then immediately have a reason why he couldn't stay over after.
"My drive-in was fine. Don't mention it. Are you coming over tonight? I wasn't exactly planning for guests yesterday," I laugh.
He stares at me intensely, looking extremely embarrassed.
"Are you okay? You look flustered," I worry.
He laughs, rubbing his low-cut hairstyle, "Oh, sorry. I zoned out. I was picturing you naked. What did you say?"
"I said I wasn't really expecting you yesterday. Will you be coming over tonight?" I repeat, visibly annoyed.
"I see. No, I won't be coming over; I guess if I get horny, I would, right?" He laughs at his own joke, "But unfortunately for you, I have plans tonight. I have a dinner thing at my parent's place, so I have to bring a date. To be perfectly honest with you, the whole thing is kind of annoying."
I nod, "I understand. What time should I be ready?"
"Ready?" He asks.
"Yeah, for dinner? We've been together for four years, and I haven't met your family yet. So shouldn't they want to meet your girlfriend?" I laugh.
"I suppose you're right..." he trails off, looking past me.
I stand up, sighing, "You don't want to bring me?"
"It's not that; it's just these are my parents. I can't bring just anyone," he explains.
I roll my eyes, "What the fuck does that even mean, Logan. I'm your girlfriend; how am I anyone, you idiot."
"Fia, don't yell; we are at work. I have to be sure I'm serious about someone before they meet my family," he crosses his arms leaning back as if he said something substantial.
"Four years, Logan? It's been four years. I can't do this anymore," I throw my hands up in surrender. I start to walk away when he grabs me, "Fia, wait. I'm sorry you can meet my family."
"No, Logan, I'm done. We should break up. You haven't been treating me right for a really long time, and I've learned a lot about self-love and-" I say as he cuts me off.
"This self-love bullshit again. I told you I love you. I even help your fat ass get into shape, but what do I get for it? You breaking up with me because you can't come to a stupid dinner. You're going to throw away four years, four years, Fia!" he growls in my ear, still holding me.
I look down at my 5'3 body fitting nicely into his 5'9 frame. Tears well up in my eyes as I push him away.
"No, Logan. You do this all the time you act up, and then you go and apologize and say you love me. You just called me fat; you're always fucking berating me, and I've taken it for too long. Self-love isn't bullshit. Don't I deserve someone who actually loves me for me and not just my body? Someone who cares about me? Don't you want that for me?" I ask, my hands balled up.
"I'm all of that for you, Fia. I love you; I care about you. I'm really sorry. I was just upset. You know I don't think you're fat or any of the other shit you yell at me for saying to you. I like that you're strong and independent. You have your own apartment, you pay for all your family's bills even though you aren't rich. You dress nice, smell nice, take care of your mind, and body. Come on, you're my full package," he pleads.
I search his eyes for any sign, "You're saying all of this to say what? We shouldn't break up?"
"Yeah, we are the Brawson Co. marketing power couple," he laughs.
"We aren't, but okay. This is your last chance Logan," I warn.
He kisses me, "You won't regret it."
I walk out of his office, then turn back around, "So I'm invited to the dinner then?"
He sighs, putting his head down, "Come on."
I shake my head, "You just said you'd do better and I'm still not invited, Logan? Why are you so scared for them to meet me?"
"My family has ideals; they are old school Fia. They don't bode well with the whole interracial relationship thing. I know your family doesn't care because your mom is white and your dad is black, but my parents don't play that shit. And you aren't black enough for them. I'm sorry, please don't be mad. Just give me time to ease them into it. Once they get to know you, they will love you. I hate their ignorance just as much as the next person, but they are my family," he explains.
"Yeah, this isn't going to work for me. You had four years to reveal you had a racist ass family, but you waited until now. Who the fuck is even racist anymore? That shit should be dead and over with. It's 2021, not 1857. You let your family know the race is human, everything else is irrelevant. I can't be a part of that. I'm done, Logan; I'm sorry," I walk away, shaking my head.
He doesn't say anything; he knows there's nothing he can say.
Jenna gets on the elevator with me; she rolls her eyes, "Fia, so we are an orange today?"
I chuckle nervously, "Orange? Oh, my shirt. I thought it looked rather nice, don't you?"
"No, I honestly don't. You look ridiculous; I can't believe Logan even likes you. He could have anyone he wanted on the marketing team, and he chose you. I guess guys really do only care about big ass and titties," she laughs, rolling her eyes and getting off on the third floor.
I lean on the wall, closing my eyes. As if I don't have enough problems in general, I had to bump into Jenna; there goes my Friday. I look down at my shirt and shrug. I get off on the twenty-fifth floor. Jenna also works on the marketing team; I don't know why she got off on the tech support floor. I keep my head down quietly, walking to my desk.
"Fia! My office now!" Someone yells from behind me. I hang my shoulders low, slowly turning around to see Logan.
I sigh, "You scared me. What's up?" I follow him into his office and sit across from him.
He interlocks his fingers. I stare at the tall, slender man before me. Logan could easily bat his baby blue eyes and long brown eyelashes with a Hollywood smile and face to match to get any girl he pleased. Of course, everyone wants the black man with natural blue eyes, but he has set his sights on me from day one, and I welcomed the attention.
"Sorry for the dramatics. How was your drive-in? I didn't mean to just leave abruptly last night," he sighs. But he always does. He would have sex with me and then immediately have a reason why he couldn't stay over after.
"My drive-in was fine. Don't mention it. Are you coming over tonight? I wasn't exactly planning for guests yesterday," I laugh.
He stares at me intensely, looking extremely embarrassed.
"Are you okay? You look flustered," I worry.
He laughs, rubbing his low-cut hairstyle, "Oh, sorry. I zoned out. I was picturing you naked. What did you say?"
"I said I wasn't really expecting you yesterday. Will you be coming over tonight?" I repeat, visibly annoyed.
"I see. No, I won't be coming over; I guess if I get horny, I would, right?" He laughs at his own joke, "But unfortunately for you, I have plans tonight. I have a dinner thing at my parent's place, so I have to bring a date. To be perfectly honest with you, the whole thing is kind of annoying."
I nod, "I understand. What time should I be ready?"
"Ready?" He asks.
"Yeah, for dinner? We've been together for four years, and I haven't met your family yet. So shouldn't they want to meet your girlfriend?" I laugh.
"I suppose you're right..." he trails off, looking past me.
I stand up, sighing, "You don't want to bring me?"
"It's not that; it's just these are my parents. I can't bring just anyone," he explains.
I roll my eyes, "What the fuck does that even mean, Logan. I'm your girlfriend; how am I anyone, you idiot."
"Fia, don't yell; we are at work. I have to be sure I'm serious about someone before they meet my family," he crosses his arms leaning back as if he said something substantial.
"Four years, Logan? It's been four years. I can't do this anymore," I throw my hands up in surrender. I start to walk away when he grabs me, "Fia, wait. I'm sorry you can meet my family."
"No, Logan, I'm done. We should break up. You haven't been treating me right for a really long time, and I've learned a lot about self-love and-" I say as he cuts me off.
"This self-love bullshit again. I told you I love you. I even help your fat ass get into shape, but what do I get for it? You breaking up with me because you can't come to a stupid dinner. You're going to throw away four years, four years, Fia!" he growls in my ear, still holding me.
I look down at my 5'3 body fitting nicely into his 5'9 frame. Tears well up in my eyes as I push him away.
"No, Logan. You do this all the time you act up, and then you go and apologize and say you love me. You just called me fat; you're always fucking berating me, and I've taken it for too long. Self-love isn't bullshit. Don't I deserve someone who actually loves me for me and not just my body? Someone who cares about me? Don't you want that for me?" I ask, my hands balled up.
"I'm all of that for you, Fia. I love you; I care about you. I'm really sorry. I was just upset. You know I don't think you're fat or any of the other shit you yell at me for saying to you. I like that you're strong and independent. You have your own apartment, you pay for all your family's bills even though you aren't rich. You dress nice, smell nice, take care of your mind, and body. Come on, you're my full package," he pleads.
I search his eyes for any sign, "You're saying all of this to say what? We shouldn't break up?"
"Yeah, we are the Brawson Co. marketing power couple," he laughs.
"We aren't, but okay. This is your last chance Logan," I warn.
He kisses me, "You won't regret it."
I walk out of his office, then turn back around, "So I'm invited to the dinner then?"
He sighs, putting his head down, "Come on."
I shake my head, "You just said you'd do better and I'm still not invited, Logan? Why are you so scared for them to meet me?"
"My family has ideals; they are old school Fia. They don't bode well with the whole interracial relationship thing. I know your family doesn't care because your mom is white and your dad is black, but my parents don't play that shit. And you aren't black enough for them. I'm sorry, please don't be mad. Just give me time to ease them into it. Once they get to know you, they will love you. I hate their ignorance just as much as the next person, but they are my family," he explains.
"Yeah, this isn't going to work for me. You had four years to reveal you had a racist ass family, but you waited until now. Who the fuck is even racist anymore? That shit should be dead and over with. It's 2021, not 1857. You let your family know the race is human, everything else is irrelevant. I can't be a part of that. I'm done, Logan; I'm sorry," I walk away, shaking my head.
He doesn't say anything; he knows there's nothing he can say.
I walk into my office, and it's almost immediately that I break down. Four years of my life...down the drain. It wasn't all bad, we had a lot of fun together. I just can't believe his family thinks that way.
Why wouldn't they want their son to be happy regardless if it's breaking their perfect little world? Snot begins to fall, and my eyes turn red. I just can't stop crying. I sobbed for at least ten minutes before I heard a knock on my door. I quickly collect myself.
