Cognitive test
The goal of this test is to determine the way you perceive yourself, your individual problems, and life as a whole. Below you will read two different scenarios. Please identify the one that most closely resembles the way you experience life on a day-to-day basis. Do not be afraid, there is no wrong answer!
Scenario A
In a land there’s a town, and in that town, there’s a house. The red light of the setting sun is painting the living room a warm crimson. Through the streaks of light coming from the window, dust can be seen, dancing through the air. The crack in one of the windows is inviting the song of nearby birds. Life has temporarily stopped in this place. It is safe and warm. No evil shall come here. No harm shall befall you. All that is left to do, is listen to the birds and watch the dust fly away every time you try to grab it. Because right now, in this very moment, that is all you have to do. This is your life. Let whatever comes next, come next. It is okay. The world does not need you right now.
Scenario B
This place is hell. Everything wrong with life is right here. The sun is staining the room with a disturbing, oppressive red, adding more weight to an already burdened mind. The air carries so much dust that I feel like I am breathing sand. The birds are incessantly chattering, never leaving a moment of peace and quiet. There is so much to do, and it has to happen now! Why is nothing happening? What is wrong with me? Everything is collapsing.
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Which one of these scenarios did you identify the most with? Remember, no answer is wrong:
O A
O B
On the following page, you can read what your answer means and what steps are to be taken next. Please only read the explanation corresponding with your answer.
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You answered A
Congratulations! You appear to be capable of properly coping with life and its many challenges. No matter how hard life gets, you can give it all a place and work through your trials and tribulations in a way that is healthy and productive. You manage to enjoy life even when it is at its most challenging. You are a functional part of society, and there is no reason why you shouldn’t be proud of it.
Please exit through the blue door on the left and collect your “I am a functional human being” certificate and matching badge. After the ceremony, you are free to leave and go back to your loving family. You’ve earned it!
You answered B
Uh oh, looks like something is not quite right here. Despite the fact that all humans are well-equipped to face lives challenges head on, something seems to have gone wrong with you. You appear to crumble under even the slightest pressure. You see shadows and monsters around every corner, and every hurdle seems like an enormous mountain to you. Because of this, you are unable to function in a sufficient manner as is expected of the average human. Obviously, this is not productive for you, nor the people around you.
Please exit through the red door on the left and put all your clothes and personal belongings in the red tray. Keep walking into the next room and collect your Support Suit and your first dose of MMN’s (Make Me Normal). For the next 1 to ∞ months you shall be living in a commune with your fellow misfits, partaking in group sessions and prepare yourself to re-join society as a productive member. Until that time comes, you will not be allowed any contact with the outside world, so as to not risk any interference with the program. Do not worry, you shall soon be healthy again.
