Janus
Penelope pushed open the metal door to the school’s lab and stepped through the frame. She slid her hand along the metal until the door slipped off her fingertips on its way back to its original position. She never felt like her school’s lab was impressive in any way. The hallway stretched out in front of her for about fifty yards: standard drop ceilings and some sort of beige lockers and walls. You would think this university lab was a high school with all the lockers lining the walls of the hallway. She could see her locker from where she was standing along with Caroline whose locker was right next to hers. Caroline noticed Penelope as soon as she was within reasonable earshot.
“Hey, are you going to Samantha’s party on Saturday,” asked Caroline
“I think it is supposed to snow on Saturday,” said Penelope
“Yeah,” asked Caroline
“Is that a good enough excuse not to go to a party,” asked Penelope
“If I accepted everyone one of your excuses not to go to a party then you would never attend any,” said Caroline.
“Would citing safety concerns exonerate me this time,” asked Penelope.
“I have seen the way you drink sometimes...that sounds out of character,” said Caroline.
“Shut up. I don’t think I am any more guilty than anyone else my age” said Penelope.
“That’s why you are going to this party. To join in with all the other guilty people our age,” said Caroline
The conversation passed the same way it always does, with Penelope being convinced to go to some party on the weekend. Penelope closed her locker and proceeded to the lab. She walked down the hall about twenty steps and turned left into the open doorway. She walked past the two tables nearest to the door and put her bag down on her assigned table. She pulled out the stool and sat with a sigh. Are these parties a waste of time, thought Penelope. I mean I like hanging out, and all, but is that it? Is that the whole point? Maybe it is. Maybe I am thinking too much about it? Next time I should probably just let go and live in the moment. Just as Penelope concluded her thought, two more students walked into the room followed by the professor. Penelope opened her bag and started to unload it.
Looking around at the buildings from the driver’s seat of her Honda Civic, Penelope tried to find the building where the party was located. Her car was nice and warm but she could see the cold air outside in the visible breath of the pedestrians on the sidewalk.
“37, 39, 41,” she counted out loud as she read the street numbers on the buildings.
“43, that’s it,” she said to herself.
She immediately saw an open parking spot along the curb about twenty yards beyond the brick building numbered 43. The parking spot was also big enough that she did not have to parallel park.
“At least I don’t have to parallel park,” she said to herself.
She spun the steering wheel quickly all the way to the right. Just as the car was about to hit the curb she spun the steering wheel back to the left. Penelope allowed the car to move forward a little bit in a straight line. Just like that, the Civic was parallel to the curb and about half a foot away. She grabbed the lever on the center console and put the car into park. She grasped the key in the ignition and turned it, shutting the car off. She flipped the sun visor down to get a quick last minute look at herself in the vanity mirror. With a couple of pointless finger combings of the hair, she was set. She grabbed her purse off the passenger seat, opened the door, and stepped out of the car.
The cold air immediately hit Penelope. She crossed her arms to defend herself from the cold. She looked up at the brick building to be sure she was at the right place. She could see a few lit windows on the third floor. She could also see enough people to indicate that it was not only the residents in the well lit apartment. That was enough for Penelope to proceed. She reached into her pocket. She pulled out her phone and unlocked it. She texted Caroline that she was outside. She decided not to walk up into the apartment just yet, she did not want to march into a strange apartment by herself. After a moment, Caroline appeared at the door of the brick apartment building. Penelope put her left foot forward and walked towards the door.
“Get in here, you look cold,” yelled Caroline.
Penelope hopped to a trot and reached the door in about seven steps. She grabbed the horizontal bar handle of the glass door that Caroline was keeping ajar.
“Thank you,” said Penelope as she pulled the door open and slid into the lobby of the building. Penelope surrendered her arm defenses as the door swung back closed and pushed the cold back outside.
“Glad to see you finally made it,” said Caroline.
“I bet you wished I finally made it,” responded Penelope.
Caroline shrugged her shoulders.
“Yeah, I am not sure what I meant by that either,” Penelope chuckled.
“Let’s go up to the party,” Caroline said with a head nod towards the stairs.
Caroline turned around and started up the stairs while holding the wooden handrail. Penelope followed her. They proceeded up to the third floor. At the third floor landing, Caroline turned right and grabbed the knob of the apartment door that was about a foot from the staircase. She opened the door and revealed a two bedroom apartment. Directly in front and, a little to the left, was the living room. In the same room, but on the right, was the kitchen. A small metal divider on the floor, extending from a small wall extension, which lined the right side of the hall directly across from the apartment door, separated the rug of the living room and the linoleum of the kitchen
“Over here are the drinks,” said Caroline while pointing to the refrigerator on the far right.
Penelope followed Caroline around a small table in the middle of the kitchen.
“You want a lemonade or a beer,” asked Caroline
“Lemonade,” responded Penelope.
Caroline reached into a small cooler, acting as an annex to the fridge, that was just to the right between the refrigerator and the wall. She grabbed a Mike’s Hard Lemonade out of the ice, raised it to the bottle opener attached to the wall, popped the cap off, and handed it to Penelope.
“Thanks,” said Penelope.
Just as the words came out of her mouth a guy hopped to a spot equidistant from Penelope and Caroline creating a conversational triangle.
“Hey ladies, Great to see you tonight!”
“Hi Mike,” said Caroline then Penelope.
“What do you guys think of this party,” asked Mike.
“We haven’t really had a chance to check it out yet. Penelope just got here,” said Caroline.
“I gotcha. Can I take your coat Penelope,” asked Mike.
“Where is your coat,” asked Penelope while nodding at Caroline.
“In the bedroom on the left,” responded Caroline.
“Mind putting mine with Caroline’s,” asked Penelope while pulling her arm out of the right sleeve. Penelope then pulled her arm out of the left sleeve and simultaneously caught the coat with her right hand. With the coat in hand, she reached her right hand out towards Mike. Mike received the coat and turned around towards the bedrooms.
“It’s the yellow....”
“I know,” retorted Mike interrupting Caroline while he walked towards the bedrooms with the coat.
“Oh my! He still likes you,” said Caroline
“What do you mean he still likes me,” responded Penelope.
“C’mon, you know he has liked you for a minute now,” said Caroline.
“I haven’t really picked up on that,” said Penelope
“C’mon,” said Caroline. He comes charging over here the minute you get in here when your hot friend has already been here for a minute?”
“Maybe you are not as hot as you think you are,” responded Penelope.
“Clearly not as hot as you in the eyes of Mike,” said Caroline with an air kiss.
“Shut up,” responded Penelope.
Penelope and Caroline laughed and walked away from the cooler towards the center of the apartment and the party. They proceeded to socialize, laugh, and occasionally snack. All the while snow had started to accumulate outside. The friends proceeded to enjoy themselves as people generally do at parties until about fifteen minutes to midnight when Penelope had reached her fill of people, drinks, and snacks.
“I think I am going to get going soon,” Penelope said to Caroline.
“Really, already,” asked Caroline
“Yeah, I am getting tired,” responded Penelope.
“Alright, let me just finish up this conversation and I will walk you out,” said Caroline.
Caroline finished her conversation and turned towards Penelope and the door. Penelope rotated and opened the door. She stepped outside the apartment, turned to the left, and started walking down the stairs. Caroline also stepped outside the apartment but closed the door behind her. Penelope and Caroline descended the stairs and approached the metal and glass door of the apartment building. They paused and looked at the falling snow.
Penelope gathered the front of her jacket together with her left hand and pushed the door open with her right. Penelope stepped out onto the one inch of snow that had accumulated on the sidewalk. Caroline followed her out of the building. They both carefully walked the several steps to Penelope’s Civic.
“Oh shit,” said Caroline.
“What,” asked Penelope.
“You got a flat,” said Caroline.
Penelope glanced at Caroline’s face and could see she was looking at the front passenger side tire. Penelope looked towards the tire and pursed her lips.
“You know what, I got Triple A but my phone is inside. Come back with me upstairs and I will give them a call,” said Caroline.
“Well I guess I don’t have much of a choice. But, I appreciate it, thank you,” responded Penelope.
They both turned back towards the apartment building. Caroline led the careful march back towards the metal and glass door of the apartment building. Caroline grabbed the door and held it open for Penelope. Penelope walked through the door and Caroline followed. They walked up the stairs and stepped back into the apartment.
“Changed your mind,” one of the partygoers asked.
“Nah, she’s got a flat,” responded Caroline.
Caroline grabbed her cell phone off the kitchen table and called Triple A. As Caroline called, Penelope took off her jacket and threw it over one of the kitchen table chairs. Caroline finished up her conversation and put down the phone.
“Alright, they say it is going to be probably a little over an hour,” said Caroline.
Penelope pursed her lips again and took a deep breath.
“I guess there are worse things than being stuck at a party for an extra hour,” said Penelope.
Caroline shrugged and turned towards the fridge.
“Want another drink,” asked Caroline.
“Nope,” said Penelope.
Penelope turned towards the couch in the living room and Caroline followed. Both sat down on the couch near some of the other partygoers. The party continued for about twenty more minutes until a funny conversation about an incident in the lab came up.
“You know what, I think I still have the dumb pictures we made that day in my backpack in the car,” said Penelope between spots of laughter.
Penelope got up from the couch and grabbed her jacket off the kitchen chair. She hopped down the stairs and out the metal and glass door. She slowed down as she stepped on the snow and approached her car gingerly. When she got about five steps from her car she noticed the front passenger side tire was remarkably smaller. But, it was inflated. It took her a second to realize that the tire had been changed.
“Huh,” said Penelope.
Penelope turned around and started to walk back inside. She started up the steps while processing what just happened. She stepped into the apartment and immediately turned left towards Caroline who was still on the couch.
“I think Triple A came already,” said Penelope.
“I don’t think so, they usually call,” said Caroline.
“Well, I think someone changed my tire already,” said Penelope.
“Really,” asked Caroline.
Penelope shrugged and swept her right hand towards the apartment door. Caroline grabbed her jacket and both went downstairs and out the front door. They both approached the car.
“Yeah, it looks like the tire has been swapped out with your donut,” said Caroline. Let me call Triple A and let them know they are no longer needed.”
Caroline took out her phone and dialed Triple A while walking back towards the apartment building. Penelope continued to stand near her car while processing the situation. After about three minutes, while still perplexed, she got in her car and drove home.
As Penelope drove home, she continued to think about how her tire got changed. Obviously, someone changed it. But, she could not sort out the most probable suspect. The drive home felt like five minutes as she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building. She drove her car around to the back of the L-shaped parking lot that bordered the square, brick building. She pulled into a spot along the building, put the car in park, and turned off the ignition. She then stepped out of the car. Once she was on her feet she took her phone out of her pocket to call Caroline and let her know she got home safe.
Foregoing a hello, as soon as Caroline answered Penelope immediately unburdened the question. “Who do you think it was?”
“I don’t know,” Responded Caroline. “Oh, you know what, I am almost certain it was Mike.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, definitely,” said Caroline.
“Oh, well, I am home. Talk to you tomorrow,” said Penelope.
“Love ya,” said Caroline.
Penelope hung up the phone and put it in her pocket as she started walking towards her apartment building. She approached the mundane square, brick building and opened the heavy wooden door. She walked about twenty feet to the elevator and pressed the call button. The elevator door immediately opened. She stepped in and pressed the button for the third floor.
Mike. She held the thought in her head as she waited for the elevator to serve its purpose. Does make sense, she thought to herself. Why couldn’t I figure that out? The elevator beeped and the door opened. Penelope stepped out of the elevator and walked towards her apartment. As Penelope walked down the hall, she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her keys. Three steps later she was at her door. She opened the door, walked past the small kitchen on the left, and let herself collapse into the couch that was just beyond the wall dividing the living room and the kitchen.
Penelope sat on the couch and just let her mind process the revelation that it was probably Mike who changed her tire in the snow. She wasn’t ecstatic. But, she was not put off. It was kind of creepy to do it secretly but she did appreciate the effort. It also might have been unnecessary. Triple A, and all. How did he get into the trunk anyway? She probably left the door unlocked. That was dumb.
She continued in this meditation for about twenty minutes. For every negative thought, she had a positive one. No one feeling could dominate. The only thing she learned in this meditation was that the mind can torture with moderation. After coming to the conclusion that she would not be able to tip the scales of her mind’s balance in any one direction, she turned on the tv. The first thing that came on the tv was a rerun of Friends. She really did not feel like getting too involved in anything so she just left it on. She continued to process the events of the evening. Since the quorum of her mind was still in gridlock about Mike, she actively thought of some of the stories and jokes that were shared at the party. After about a half hour she went to bed.
Penelope woke up the next morning the same way she always does. She shut off her alarm and laid there for about ten minutes. Unless she has a particularly vivid dream, her mind is typically blank and not active yet. Once fully awake, she got out of bed and went into the shower. As she was showering, her mind got up into a full stride again. The first full thought that came into her mind was Mike. She was still undecided about how she felt about the night before. By the end of the shower Penelope had decided to at least talk to him. It might be the only way to suppress her reservations or excite her enjoyment, or vice versa. She knew Caroline had his number. But, she also knew he lived near the school’s lab. She figured she would stop by the lab to check on an ongoing project. Hopefully she would bump into him since most grad students at the school checked on their projects, at least briefly, on a daily basis. Penelope figured calling might be too forward a maneuver considering they never talked on the phone before. So, she decided to head out to the school, after she gets her tire repaired.
After getting her tire repaired, Penelope pulled into the student parking lot nearest to the lab. The parking lot was situated about one hundred yards east of the lab facing the eastern façade and across a walking path garden. She got out of her car, locked it up, and started walking across the garden. The garden was populated by a couple of groups of people. She did not recognize anyone. Or, more accurately, no one she knew on friendly terms. Certainly, none of the people were Mike. This gave Penelope some relief as she was not certain that her feelings were quite settled enough about the subject.
After a few minutes of walking she reached the side door of the lab. She grabbed the vertical, square handle and opened the door. She went down the hall, past the lockers, and into the lab. Her project was just to the right sitting on a table inside a plastic box which controlled the environment. As soon as she looked and saw that the bacteria in the petri dishes were still growing at a moderate rate, she stopped caring for now.
Penelope’s indecisiveness was now starting to frustrate. The logical part of her was begging her feelings for a decision. Unfortunately, her feeling’s deliberations did not have an agenda. Her feelings remained ambivalent. She now considered talking to Mike as her only artery to a conclusion. She left the lab by the front door, perpendicular from the direction she entered. This door led out to a small pond and surrounding park that was situated in the middle of campus. From the steps of the lab she could look out on this large area of the campus as the lake created a depression from the slightly elevated foundation of the lab. After a couple of minutes Penelope spotted Mike walking away from the dining hall on her left. Penelope immediately skipped into a brisk walk in order to interlope Mike’s path.
“Hey,” said Penelope.
“Hey,” said Mike.
“Did you change my tire last night,” asked Penelope.
Mike paused and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah.”
“Well thank you,” said Penelope with a slight bow of the head.
“It was no problem. I have actually had to do it more than I like to admit,” said Mike.
“I really do appreciate the fact that you did that in the cold and the snow,” said Penelope.
“It wasn’t too bad. My jacket is pretty good and I was able to keep my gloves on,” said Mike.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but, may I ask why you did that for me,” asked Penelope.
“Like I said, I’ve been there before and it sucks,” said Mike.
“Oh. Caroline suggested that it might be that you like me,” said Penelope while shaking her head in a bouncy fashion.
“Well, yeah, I used to, at least,” responded Mike.
Penelope was now the one with the raised eyebrows. “Really,” asked Penelope.
“Well, yeah. But, you never seemed interested,” said Mike.
Penelope lowered her eyebrows all the way and looked at Mike with squinted eyes.
“Last semester I asked you if you wanted a ride to that lecture. You told me you were planning to go with Caroline instead. A couple of other times I asked you if you would like to sit with me in the dining hall between our classes. One of those times you said your friends were waiting for you and you didn’t invite me to join. The other time you told me you were going to just grab something quick and read in the library. Beyond that you never indicated any interest so I figured I would just take the hint,” said Mike.
Penelope quickly tried to scan her brain to recover these memories but could only recall being offered a ride to the lecture. As the new revelations arrived in her consciousness, her internal deliberations over Mike became quiet. Penelope could not tell if this reprieve was caused by the loss of her naivete or the shock of the realization of ignorance. “I’m sorry, Mike,” said Penelope. It was all she could think of to say.
“That’s all right,” said Mike.
They both stood there for about thirty seconds.
“Why did you offer to take my jacket last night,” asked Penelope.
“It was my first opportunity to talk to Caroline last night,” said Mike.
Then Mike walked away.
