Chapter 1
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There’s a pit in my stomach.
It’s growing quite fast.
But I must stay quiet.
No worries, The nightmare doesn’t last.
soon the mood will cease,
I’ll sit there and put her at ease.
‘ I understand’
That’s what i’ll say,
It’ll be okay.
We laugh, we cry;
Just like normal families do,
This isn’t a
b
u
s
e.
So why does the whole in my stomach expand,
A burning sensation as she whips her head back,
Just to get that one last word.
Soon i’ll be burned through.
Turned into smoke like her cigarettes,
I’ll be sure to pull myself back together after this last mess.
Do not fear,
I am fine.
We are frayed
and a little broken
just like any normal family,
And This is just how she clears the air;
after pent-up emotional affairs.
But why am I her pawn?
After the drama parts
We’ll have fun like nothing was ever wrong.
How could it be?
Her remarks and ridicules aren’t her fault.
She doesn’t know what she’s doing hurts this bad.
I made a mistake in the beginning,
That was back when I was confused.
She got angry and I blew her fuse.
And now her words taste like acid in my mouth,
Get it out!
But I only swallow and nod.
She’s right after all.
I am a nuisance, annoying.
So when her attitude suddenly changes it’s quite odd.
Back to the same old ways,
Friends come over and everything is the same.
The big fight we had yesterday was just a drizzle.
A thunder brews inside of me and I don’t know why.
It’s her normal mood and guilty offenses,
Never to be mentioned in inappropriate places.
Oh well, but it’s just a guess.
Maybe I’m not the one who made this mess.
Her words hurt more and more and now they’re cutting too close.
The sharp tongue Drawing blood.
I said things I shouldn’t have,
I talked back.
Another mistake.
Keep it cool.
Keep your composure as you apologize.
The arguments dropped yet she seems to bring it up at the most convenient of times.
All the times when I tried to hide.
I’m tired of this.
This game of trade.
What can I do this time?
Her unjust or my personal gain?
Why can’t I stop saying the opposite of what I think?
‘Okay’
‘Okay’
That’s all I say!
The other words I come up with seem to sink.
The real friends only notice when something’s wrong,
Or at least that’s what she told me.
It’s great advice,
But what’s the point if all they ask;
Is
‘Hey, is something wrong?’
In that stupid tone.
I’ve heard it before, it’s just a charade.
It’s one thing I gained from playing her games.
‘It’s her again.’
I want to cry!
‘She’s driving me mad!’
But no,
After all;
Faking a smile,
is easier than explaining why you’re sad.
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