Love 101

Joseph Ballinger. He was the kind of guy that every girl seemed to fall for. I was no exception.

He had perfect skin, so smooth and tan from the long hours he spent in the sun. He had the brightest smile and the whitest teeth. From head to toe, Joseph was flawless.

So as I sat silently, eating my lunch alone in the farthest corner of the cafeteria, of course, I was surprised when he suddenly called my name. When I found him sitting a few tables down from mine, I saw that bright smile directed toward me.

Responding from where I was would've brought too much attention upon myself, so I stood and slowly walked toward his table. I left my lunch behind, knowing it would be a short interaction.

I couldn't think of a single reason as to why he'd want to talk to me. I'd never spoken a word to him before.

"Yeah?" My voice was quiet as my eyes wandered around the room to look at anything but him. He was much more handsome now that I could see him closely. Always watching him from afar, I didn't realize his features were so defined. The smile he always wore left imprints on his cheeks. His blond hair looked so soft and fluffy, like the fur of a tiny, white dog. And his blue eyes sparkled in the bright lights like something out of a fairytale. He looked magical. Unreal.

"Will you sit down with us?" He asked. I finally let my eyes settle on his. He seemed eager for my response, with his head tilted slightly to the side, his eyes staring straight into mine, and his hands fidgeting silently in his lap. "Please?"

"A-Alright," I stuttered. His smile seemed to grow as I retrieved my lunch.

"Penny, was it?" Tyler Holden, one of the first-year stoners, asked. The guy was pitiful. His dad left him when he was barely in the double digits. His mom left her drugs around the house for his free usage. I wouldn't say his current state was his own fault.

His eating during a second-year lunch period didn’t seem to cross my mind as odd at the moment. Tyler was always one to do as he pleased. The teachers hated him for it, but they only had so much energy to keep him under control.

I nodded silently. I preferred to be called Penelope, rather than Penny, but I didn't feel like correcting him.

Tyler leaned close to me as I sat across from him. "Jo's got somethin' to ask ya, Penny."

I didn't meet Joseph's eyes as he began to speak. I continued to stare down at the table silently. "Are you free Friday night?" He asked excitedly.

Friday night was the night of the first-and-second-year-dance-off. I knew of it, but I had no intention of going. A dance-off? A battle of dancing? That sounded treacherous.

"Yeah," I answered honestly.

But Joseph Ballinger wouldn't ask me to go with him. Was he asking me to ask someone else to go with him? But he wouldn't need me for that. Was he asking me to go with a friend?

I looked up at Joseph as he began to speak once again. Then, I looked at Tyler, who wore a stupidly large grin.

"Will you go to the dance-off with Tyler?" He finally asked.

I sighed. I really didn't want to go. I didn't even care that I would be going with Tyler. I just did not want to go. Not to mention, I didn’t know how to dance. But it was Joseph Ballinger. I was speaking to him for the first time in the seven years we’d been classmates. Maybe this was my chance.

Finally, I nodded. “Yeah, sure,” I agreed, smiling politely. I wasn’t sure who I was speaking to, but the outcome was the same: I’d be going to the dance-off.

-

“Are you serious?” was the first thing my mom had said when I told her the news. She looked both confused and shocked; she didn’t try to hide it. Her brows raised to the top of her forehead, and her eyes were as wide as they’d go.

I sighed. “Yeah, but it won’t be for nothing.”

“Oh?” She leaned over the kitchen counter toward me with a small smile. “Is he paying you? It must be a large sum for you to go to something like that.”

My eyes left hers awkwardly. “Well… no, but do you know who asked me to go with him?” Obviously, she didn’t, but Mom liked to be involved in the story-telling process.

She shook her head. “Why? Does the infamous Penelope Hahn have someone she’s interested in?” Her voice was teasing, as always, but her words seemed to affect me. I felt my cheeks grow slightly warmer than usual, and my eyes wandered more than they often did.

“Yeah, I have.”

Normally, I would’ve nagged her about her slight tease, but I couldn’t find the motivation to do so. I had bigger things on my mind.

“Joseph Ballinger,” I answered. Mom was silent as I continued, her expression now serious. “He’s in a few of my classes this year, but it wouldn’t really change anything. He’s been my classmate since the third grade, so I’ve known him for a while…”

“So, what do ya like about him?” She asked impatiently, her eyes sparkling in interest.

“W-well… he’s perfect, so it’s more of, um, it’s more like… there isn’t anything I don’t like about him. You know?” I smiled nervously, my eyes finally meeting hers. She wore a warm expression that seemed to tell me something. But I couldn’t figure out what.

-

Joseph was the first person I saw the next morning, and it wasn’t intentional on my part for a change. I would often find a way to see him before classes began, even if it was just for a brief moment. And by “see” him, I literally mean “see” him. Up until that Monday afternoon, I’d never interacted with him.

I couldn’t believe that he was walking in my direction. Did I look okay? Did my breath smell alright? Wait. Did I forget to brush my teeth? All these things flashed across my mind in the few seconds it took him to reach me.

“Good morning,” He greeted brightly.

“G-Good morning!” I stuttered, my voice much louder than I’d expected it to be. He didn’t seem to mind, though. “Um… did you sleep well?”

As I criticized myself for asking such a foolish question, I realized that my eyes were instinctively looking at the ground. It was a habit Mom told me I needed to get out of. She said it felt lonely to talk to someone without knowing if they were even listening.

Joseph let out a long sigh. “I’m not so sure. I haven’t been sleeping well for a while,” He answered with a small laugh. I glanced at his face for less than a second, but his expression made me lift my eyes again. He was still smiling, but his eyes seemed to say everything. That smile… and that laugh… they weren’t real, were they?

“Um… about Friday,” I said, desperate to break the silence. “Are you going too?”

He blinked a few times before he seemed to understand my question. “Oh! To the dance-off thing!” He laughed again. “Uh… probably not. That isn’t really my thing.”

Oh…

“I know what you mean. It isn’t exactly my thing either.” I nodded quickly.

One of his thick, brown brows raised. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” He said. “I can tell Tyler. It’s not a big deal.”

Oops.

I waved my hands quickly. “No, it’s fine. I’ve been… meaning to get to know Tyler for some time now!”

Gah…! This is so awkward!

I rarely ever had conversations with anyone who wasn’t my mom, so I never knew how to interact on the spot like this. It was so overwhelming, and he wasn’t just anyone. He was Joseph Ballinger! I needed to steer this conversation down a better pa-!

“Alright. Then I’ll see you at lunch,” Joseph suddenly said, turning to leave. “I hope you’ll sit with us today. If it’s not too much of a bother.”

With that, he left. I was frozen in confusion for a moment. Wasn’t I supposed to steer the conversation? Why did he just leave?

But I didn’t need much time to answer my questions. I had always been the girl in the back. The girl no one even knew was there. The girl you would think of when you thought of a nerd. Thick black glasses, brown hair that only reached my shoulders, and bangs that covered the top half of my face. Naturally, I was an outcast.