Chapter 1
RD gulped what remained of his third glass of brandy before setting it down on the table rather harshly. Napukaw niyon ang atensyon ng mga katabi niyang sina Z at Ram. He mumbled a swift apology and pushed his chair back.
He couldn't bear to look at the newlyweds anymore so he just went out of the hotel where the reception was being held. Kinalas niya ang bow at tinanggal sa pagkakabutones ang suot niyang tuxedo bago tuluyang lumabas sa entrada ng hotel. He couldn't fucking breathe. He needed a smoke. Kahit pa hindi talaga siya regular na naninigarilyo ay tila ba hinahanap ng sistema niya iyon sa pagkakataong ito.
Although he reassured his brother that he'll be alright, hindi pa rin niya maiwasan ang masaktan. Magagawa ba talaga niyang maging maligaya para sa dalawa kung ganitong parang dinudurog ang puso niya sa tuwing makikita niya si Aya na masayang masaya habang nakatitig sa kuya niya?
He clenched jaw as he wandered aimlessly along the beach. Naguguluhan siya. Hindi niya alam kung kanino ba siya dapat magalit?
Kay Nick ba? Dahil lahat na lang ng bagay na gusto niya ay napunta rito? Ang atensyon ng lahat, ang pagmamahal ng magulang nila. And now, Aya. He gets all the best. Bakit ba laging kailangan niya mag-settle sa tira nito?
All his life he has been living in the shadow of the great Nicholas Rancer Ferrera. Kilala siya ng mga tao bilang kapatid ni Nick. 'Ni hindi siya nabigyan ng tyansa na makilala sa sarili niyang pangalan, dahil ang bukambibig ng lahat, si Nick! Si Nick ang pinakamahusay. Si Nick ang pinakamagaling. Fucking Nick!
But he couldn't hate him.
Dahil kahit baliktarin ang mundo ay mahal niya ang kapatid niya. And Nick cared for him so much that he knew he would walk through hell and back for him. And likewise. He would do everything for his brother. Including giving up the only woman he loved just for him to be happy.
Should he be mad at Aya? For choosing his brother over him?
Natawa siya ng pagak. Paano siya magagalit kay Aya? Could he really blame her for choosing Nick over him? Ano bang binatbat niya kasi sa kuya niya?
He wanted to be mad at himself. Dahil lagi na lang siyang nagpaparaya sa kapatid niya. Kung tutuusin, he could've kept Aya to himself. Ngunit nangibabaw pa rin ang pagmamahal niya sa kapatid kaya tinulungan niya ang dalawa na magkabalikan.
Napailing siya sa sarili. He really should be mad at himself for being such a fucking pussy. For not being brave enough to go after what he wants. For being a fucking pushover.
He wanted to blame his parents. For bringing him into this world without the intention of loving him. Sila ang dahilan kung bakit madalas siyang maghinanakit sa kapatid niya gayong wala naman itong ginawa kundi ang iuna rin ang interes niya.
Except this time. Because he really love Aya. And she loves him, too.
At inggit na inggit siya rito.
He inhaled deeply. Trying to drown self contempt with the lovely smell of the sea breeze. Iyon na lamang ang option niya nang mga panahon na iyon. Put on his big boy pants, enjoy the place and move the fuck on.
Maganda ang resort na pinagdausan ng kasal. Gusto ni Aya ng isang beach wedding at kahit pa hindi naman mahilig sa dagat ang kuya niya —in fact, inis na inis nga ito sa buhangin—ay pinagbigyan nito ang mapapangasawa.
Fucking pussy-whipped—kagaya nga ng madalas sabihin ni Scor, isa sa mga barkada niya.
Napatigil siya sa daan nang may muntik na bumangga sa kanya na naghaharutang mga magbabarkada. The place was still full of people inspite of the lateness of the hour. Maraming nagsu-swimming, nagba-bar hopping. He even saw a few couple making out on the beach. He tsked and just went straight to the bar in front of him.
"Old Fashioned," he said to the bartender.
Nangalumbaba siya roon habang pinapanood ang lalaki na asikasuhin ang inumin niya. When the guy served his drink, he then watched some teenagers have fun on the dancefloor. They were wild and RD couldn't help but shake his head. Remembering how he was when he was at their age.
His eyes dropped to his drink. It's been a few minutes and he haven't touched it. Naalala niya ang araw na una niyang nakilala si Aya. He was simply drawn to her beauty. They were seated in front of a bar, three seats away from each other to be exact. Naaalala pa niya bawat detalye. Magmula sa suot nitong kulay maroon na blouse hanggang sa mga katagang sinabi niya rito—
"You shouldn't be staring at your drink like that, baka magsalita yan bigla."
Mabilis na napalingon si RD sa kanang balikat niya. The woman hit his elbow with her arm causing him to spill his drink.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" she apologized while giggling. She was clearly drunk.
"Are you speaking to me?"
She giggled once more. "Yes, I said I'm sorry, right?"
"No—" hindi na niya nagawang maisatinig ang katanungan niya dahil umorder na ito ng inumin sa bartender.
He served her a Kamikaze before turning to the other patrons. While the woman pulled out a smart phone from the back pocket of her—is that even considered as a shorts? Halos makita na ang pisngi ng puwit nito. He shook his head. Ano bang pakialam niya? They are on a beach anyway. And she can wear whatever the hell she wants. He just couldn't stop admiring her perky, rounded butt.
Randall! For fuck's sake! Get a grip!
Pinanood niya ang babae habang masusi nitong kinukuhaan ng litrato ang inumin sa harap nito. Napailing si RD. Kids these days.
Napako ang mata niya rito habang nagpo-post ito ng litrato sa instagram. She had really thick lashes and he appreciated that. He likes women with beautiful eyes. Matangos rin ang maliit nitong ilong at nakanguso ang mapupula nitong labi. Judging from where he was sitting, she's not wearing any make up. Natural ang kulay ng rosas nitong labi at bahagyang namumula ang pisngi at balikat nito. Maaring sa kabibilad sa araw.
She was wearing a floral two-piece swimsuit that she paired with that hideous excuse for a maong shorts. She's tall, maybe around 5'6" or something? And she have long, shapy legs and that sexy butt...
He had to catch himself again. What is wrong with me?
"There you are!"
Napalingon siya sa pinanggalingan ng tinig at natagpuan niyang papalapit si Zeve at Ram sa kanya.
"Why are you guys here?"
They both took each seat beside him. Mabilis na nilingon niya ang babaeng naroon kanina lamang but she already left. I sighed. He didn't even ask her name.
"Aya's looking for you."
"She is?"
"No, actually," Ram admitted sheepishly. "Ang kuya mo ang nagpapahanap sa'yo. He told me to find you at baka mag-evaporate ka na lang daw bigla. But it's fun seeing your reaction to Aya, though."
"You're an asshole," nasusuyang sabi niya.
"I know," he grinned. "but you love me, anyway."
Ngumiti siya ng may tunog saka bumaling sa alak sa harap niya.
"It's probably time for you to move on." narinig siyang sabi ni Z.
"I am moved on."
"I am moved on." Ram mockingly mimicked. "May moved on bang may pa-walk out walk out pang nalalaman?"
"Ram?" iritableng saway ni Zeve dito. "Can't you take it easy with RD? Tangina ginanyan ka ba namin nung baliw na baliw ka kay Charlie?"
"Teka lang, let me think," Nagkunwari itong nag-iisip. "Uhm? Yeah! Fucking assholes!"
Akmang susuntukin ito ni Zeve sa braso ngunit pinigilan niya ito. "Tama na nga kayong dalawa." sa wakas ay nilagok niya ang alak. "I'm fine. I don't even know what you guys are talking about."
"Ayan na naman ba tayo sa maang maangan portion, RD?" umorder ng whiskey si Zeve. "We've been together for how many years now? Mahigit dekada na, bro. Sa amin ka pa ba maglilihim? We all know you love her."
He sighed. There's really no hiding with these morons.
"Kasal na sila, bro. You should just let it go." sabad naman ni Ram. "I know we all married our first loves. But you don't have to. Pwede naman yung second love mo yung pakasalan mo. Your first love doesn't have to be your one, true love. Minsan hindi, minsan second, minsan third, minsan fourth—"
"Are you fucking drunk?" tanong ni Z dito.
He chuckled. "Yeah, a bit." he brunshed his hand through his hair. "I should probably call my wife."
"You should."
Z and him both watched him call Charlie. His wife. He's the first among their group of seven to get married. Ang akala pa nga ni Randall noon ay hindi na mag-aasawa si Ram. He's a fuckboy. Basta may palda, he's gonna have sex with her. Hindi rin ito nalalayo sa iba pa niyang mga kaibigan na sina Liam at Drae. Ngunit tingnan mo nga naman at nauna pa ang mga ito na lumagay sa tahimik bago siya.
"Charlie told me that you should just look around and find someone else and that there are plenty of fish in the sea."
"Huh?"
Napakamot si Ram sa ulo niya. "I told her you're in love with the bride."
Z and Randall both groaned.
"You gossip with her like an old fucking hag." suyang suya na sambit niya.
"Napaka-Marites mo, Ram!"
"She's my wife! I tell her everything!"
Umiling na lamang siya sa inasal nito.
"What about that woman? She's gorgeous." sabi nito na nakanguso sa kung sinong babae sa dance floor.
"Isusumbong kita sa asawa mo," banta niya. Alam nilang lahat kung gaano katakot si Ram sa asawa nito. Kahit naman siya ay takot kay Charlie.
"I'm trying to help you so you wouldn't grow old with a shrinking dick, Randall! Please cooperate." Itinulak siya nito sa paraang mapapaharap siya sa likuran niya.
Nagsasayaw sa dance floor ang dalagang nakatabi niya kanina. She stood out from the crowd. Hindi dahil sa ganda o kulay ng balat nito kundi dahil ganoon ito. Her aura just seems to outshine everybody elses.
"What are you waiting for?" susog ni Z.
"Tigilan n'yo nga akong dalawa. I'm not interested."
"Ang choosy mo naman, ser!"
"Kung gusto n'yo kayo na lang ang pumorma. Wala akong oras para sa mga batang kagaya niya."
"Wow, bata." natatawang sambit ni Ram. "Kaarte namang sadya ni lolo."
Muli ay napailing na lang siya sa kakulitan ng mga kaibigan. Naglapag siya ng pera sa ibabaw ng bar saka tumayo.
"Where are you going?"
"Somewhere away from you guys."
Naglandas siya palabas ng bar. Kung hindi niya iiwasan ang panunudyo ng mga kaibigan ay baka matukso nga siyang lapitan ang babae. And he's not ready for that. She doesn't deserve that kind of shit. He wasn't even done with his train of thought when someone bumped into her and spilled alcohol on both of them.
"Will you watch where you're going?!"
